Jockeys & Journeys  

rm_ArkleBar 50M
38 posts
1/25/2006 3:31 pm

Last Read:
9/26/2006 4:46 pm

Jockeys & Journeys


Two days after the great AP saved my bacon by coming in first “uno” with an inspired horse ride that only the great man can give, here I am again at a regional UK airport, waiting on a small plane I know will be late. Sitting in a lounge trying to read above the above the combined open allure and competition of BBC Radio1 playing from the chain coffee shop, video juke box blasting from the open bar next to it, the designedly enticing sounds from the children’s arcade rides ‒ funny they just want me to take a well wielded axe to their whinging Chinese micro chipped larynxes, why would any child be enticed by a Sino/American robotic Stephen Hawkins voice box “LET’S GO TO SPACE”? Space? No ‒ 14 inches back and forth at the speed of a wind rocked traffic cone and a quarter of the vertical mobility ‒ one day when litigious savvy young ones take up arms in the courts on train rides of trade descriptions acts there will be one very large pile of law suits filed for al; the lies we tell children and I intend to be in the court gallery (in between the chain coffee shop and open bar and children’s arcade and their competing noises) egging the wee darlings on.

The joys of waiting, waiting at Airports, then of course there’s the boarding and being bullied by Cabin Crew ‒ loathsome “Nurseies” ‒ if they really piss you off as they do me just hold up your hand and call out “Nurse”

All those yards of advertising showing caring, sweet, gently colgate smiling young things showing people to their seats, smiling benignly at young children as they pick up their fallen teddy bear toys of the cabin floor.

In reality I get “GET BACK IN YOUR GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING SEAT, YOU LOUSY STINKING PIECE OF SHIT” and that’s the BA ones, low cost carriers just knee me in the groin should I breath before the captain has put the No Breathing light off.

East European ones are the worst (and ALL the French). Years back I was flying off to Southern Africa, had some rich relatives here, but had to fork out my own air fare that I couldn’t afford, so shopped around for the cheapest flight I could get, this was the days of the cold war, finally got a ticket with Balkan Air (Bulgarian). Usual story got on at Heathrow, instantly growled at by a couple of jet lagged luggage beaten hags, cattled into my seat and it was made clear on the most lucid of terms that I was to stay there and keep my mouth shut for the next 24 hours, not to move, not to stir, not. ‒ like I was the one wearing a cardigan? But here comes the difference, take Nursey out of her uniform and off a plane and she becomes nearly human. Two weeks later I’m lying on a Gin and Tonic lawn sun lounged to my gills and 5 metres away I spot one of said two Nursies. Only now lying out in her Iron Curtain two piece catching rays, I smile over to her, and get back a smile so sweet it was enticing me over to get straight down to it and keep the discussion on the relative pros and cons between Marx and Engles for the post coital cigarette ‒ least ways that how the smile came across.

Leave you all on one of so many great Lester Piggott stories ……

Robert Edmondson carved Piggott up coming out of the stalls, one day at Doncaster racecourse. In the days before scout cameras. Lester finished 2nd to Edmondson......... So he comes in to the weighing room and tells the steward he wants to object.

Steward: 'On what grounds are you objecting, Piggott?'

Piggott: 'Attempted fucking murder!’

TripleHARD3 56M

6/16/2006 4:40 am

glad 2 hear from you again although you do tend 2 talk 2 yourself after one 2 many knowhatimean...

how is the weather melancholy tasting like a pint of Guiness with good head temperature 69 far in height nudge nude wink dink u are right 2 stink i think and proud as a pee cock proud as a pee cock proud of his plush plumage rising 2 attention...

if u want my 2 scentse fuck the stewardess fuck the nurse everydays' a day 2 die happy...


TripleHARD3 56M

6/16/2006 12:47 pm

i must agree today was in deed a day 2 die happy although as u have intimated being intimately 'fucked 2 death' is arguably the ultimate way 2 go...very fond memories in deed enough 2 last a lifetime or three happy as a 'pig in shit'if you could only let IT be 'cause if you think about it you know you can't take it with you except for the memories and that ain't worth shit if you ask me


pour me a pint of Guiness
in your memory
cheers
TripleHARD3


p.s. i bet you will never forget after all is said and done who named you Arkle in the first place??


TripleHARD3 56M

6/16/2006 10:15 pm

    Quoting TripleHARD3:
    glad 2 hear from you again although you do tend 2 talk 2 yourself after one 2 many knowhatimean...

    how is the weather melancholy tasting like a pint of Guiness with good head temperature 69 far in height nudge nude wink dink u are right 2 stink i think and proud as a pee cock proud as a pee cock proud of his plush plumage rising 2 attention...

    if u want my 2 scentse fuck the stewardess fuck the nurse everydays' a day 2 die happy...
inowknowwhatmean one is 2 man y of course just a wannabe pussycat but underneath she is a wildcat with claws and a wannabe puss y whip her unless she is 2 embarrassed 2 admit 2 being a wannabe self fellatiolater i.e.her idea of thee ideal man; on one hand 2 smart for their own good and on the other hand 2 dumb 2 realize it 'cat got your tongue'

now i know why no one has dared 2 debate me and my words preferring 2 doublethink that ignorance is bliss....


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