I Survived  

rm_Angel47389 61F
6 posts
11/20/2005 3:23 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

I Survived

For nearly a year I have been alternately anxiously anticipating or dreading this past Friday. That was my birthday; I turned 50.

I've heard every joke, most platitudes, lots of encouragement, and some kind words about how I don't look that old, so I didn't know what to expect. My life isn't where I thought it would be at this point in my life, but I seem to recall having that same thought when I turned 40. Maybe I should take that as a sign that life is rarely what you think it will be in the distant future. I'm not even sure it's what I think it will be in the near future.

Don't misunderstand--I'm not a fatalist, thinking I have no control over my life, my destiny. No, not at all! I'm in the midst of changing my future now. I'm finally exerting some degree of control over my life, instead of passively taking what came my way, which was my habit for SO many years. Maybe that's why I'm not where I thought I would be!

I guess now it's more like I have an idea of where I want to end up, and I'm doing the best I can to get there. Let me offer the following analogy: I want to go on a vacation. I'm planning to go to southern California, because I love the sun, the warm weather, and the opportunity to work on my tan. I make all the arrangements, I pack my shorts and flip-flops, and I'm off. However, as we touch down, the pilot says, "Welcome to Jackson, Mississippi.” Uh-oh! This isn't where I wanted to go! But it is southern–there’s still sun, warm weather, and the opportunity to work on my tan. My shorts and flip-flops will still work, and the cost of everything is a lot lower than in southern Cal. However, life is a little different in the South, and some adjustments will have to be made. I’m flexible; I can adjust; this could work out just fine.

So what I’m trying to say is that I may not be where I thought I would be at this juncture in life. But I’m doing what I can to get where I think I want to be. I hope to end up where I’m aiming to go. And equally as important, I hope to enjoy the journey along the way–but that’s the topic for another entry. Meanwhile, I move forward, eye on the goal, but keeping in mind: I’m flexible; I can adapt; this could work out just fine.

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