Why Am I Here....  

rm_AmishAmy 100F
842 posts
1/14/2006 11:57 am

Last Read:
4/20/2006 4:55 am

Why Am I Here....

at first i told myself i came here for a laugh....
to see how desparate people have become in finding someone...
then i changed my mind and thought it was a good place to find a fast simple fuck...
then i changed my mind and realized that some of you are real people...
with real emotions.....and real needs.....
including myself...
the fact that i admit this now is significant...

to you....
and you know who you are...
i've not been avoiding you....
i'm saving you....from me...
i'm a 27 yr old woman who doesn't seem to know what the hell she wants right now....
afraid to step through the doorway of real......to here...
not certain if i'm ready for those risks....
not always comfortable in putting myself out there....
out of fear......
fear of looking foolish...
fear of being overwhelming...
fear of getting numb....
or getting hurt....
or hurting you...
or worse yet....not being all you perceive me to be....

you make me want things...
you make me want to be better...
you make me want more...
you make me hopeful...
you make me lonely...

maybe it would have been better....
to show you how ordinary i am....
my bad habits...
my obsessive behavior when it comes to flossing...
my eating cereal for every meal...
drinking out of the oj container...
my scary hair in the mornings...
my moodiness when i'm on my period....

maybe it is best i don't seem real...
just an idea...
of someone that can't follow through....
someone who is destined...
to take the comfortable route...
pathetic...
sad...
me.


bardicman 50M

1/14/2006 3:13 pm

I agree with nooner..

Stop it.



I am not dead yet


HORNYVIKING722 44M
1023 posts
1/14/2006 3:44 pm

And I thought I was down. Good luck to you

^_^ - signed the Killer


spinmedown 49M
3626 posts
1/14/2006 8:36 pm

Why are any of us here?

Maybe just to be here for one another when needed the most.

You were there for me in my time.

Thank you.

I'm sure you will be just fine. Everyone is here for you.

Most people are other people... FUCKING CHARACTER LIMIT!!! ~Oscar Wilde


elbman 41M  
2566 posts
1/15/2006 1:25 am

You didn't mention one thing that someone who was deserving of you; wouldn't overlook just to be with you. If they don't then they don't deserve you.......


norprin5 55M

1/15/2006 2:38 pm

you are who you are. that's what's important. it's the only thing that matters. don't be afraid to be who you are.

take my hand, walk with me, be my friend

King Nor XVIII


norprin5 55M

1/15/2006 2:53 pm

check your email, amy...

King Nor XVIII


RockPebble 69M
2476 posts
1/15/2006 2:53 pm

Sounds like a description of a very real human being. So what is the problem, I'm 58 and still don't know what I want to be when I grow up, why should you at 27 think you should have all the answers. WTF, you probably don't even have all of the questions yet. Relax, live and enjoy the ride.


JudeL5 46M
1535 posts
1/17/2006 1:18 pm

Lifes a journey... and you have been journeying... keep on.

Oh, I think the "safe" way is the risk free, hurt free path in life... except that taking risks is how you build your confidency and bury your fears... , and understanding and living through feelings like hurt, is how you can grow... and be comfortable and confident wth yourself...

I don't think the "safe" way is all it's cracked up to be... no-one is destined... everyone has choices.


onelittlesecret 33M
1579 posts
1/19/2006 11:16 am

still sounds like you have me beat...

I think I feel the same on a lot of the things you're talking about
it's tough to feel stuck


woofff 41F

4/19/2006 5:16 am

Dear Amish

Am not certain what precisely Bardi and Nooner are alluding to, but their abrasive "stop it" stung just the same....when I read this poem? Even though I'de written quite a bit on your other stuff, when I came across this, I just wanted to pen down something that comes from my heart:

This too shall pass.

Smiles,
Woofff


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