"When you walk away, you don't hear me say..."  

rm_Amanes1986 30M
16 posts
8/29/2006 3:07 am

Last Read:
8/31/2006 1:02 pm

"When you walk away, you don't hear me say..."

"Is it time already?" she asked, her fingers clutching onto her arms as if she were afraid they would fall off. He couldn't blame her. He had a hard enough time dealing with it, and he wasn't nearly as close to things as she was.

"I'm sorry." What a wasted sentiment that was. Sorry for what? For what he did? For what had happened? Of course he was. All of them were, only the Keeper could possibly know how much this week had killed him.

Literally.

He looked at her, at those eyes that were still full of strength and life, despite all that had happened. It was like looking into a meadow, and for a fleeting moment, he had an intense desire to take her into his arms and kiss her like we had when they first met. Only this time...

No. He made his decision. It didn't matter that his heart screamed for her, or that he'd joyfully give up what was once his life if it meant they had a chance to be together. What was to be couldn't be avoided, and if they had any hope at all of winning this thing.

"You sure there's no other way?" she asked, rising to her feet, tassels of fire falling along her pale cheek. He stepped forward and brushed it aside, grimacing inwardly at the electricity that shot through his being at the simple but intimate gesture. Reflexively her head pushed against his hand, rubbing, wanting.

Powers how he wished there was. To be with her. For her smile to erase every memory of his past, for her delicate and gentle touch to soothe every pain he suffered. How many times he had forgotton while he was with her. To have every morning be like yesterday, for now until the day they...

He willed himself to let go and walked towards the polished antique armoire near the bed and pull out his pitch black jacket.

But that's just it, isn't it. She can wait, you can't. You have a much shorter time limit.

"It's not too late." she whispered quietly.

Damnit, how he wish that were true. The temptation was extreme. It took every bit of strength he had to not turn around and kiss her then and there, perform the ritual, and reclaim what he had given up. She wouldn't hurt him, would she? She had already proven she wouldn't when her brother had become possessed and tried to kill them both.

No. Of the dozens that had tried in the past, only one had succeeded. He couldn't risk damning both of their souls to an eternity of being like those demons he and others like him spent their entire lives pursuing and slaying.

She boldly lay her hands on his bare shoulders as he changed, and all his muscles were instantly taut. Fingers and other extremities stiffened as she lay her head against his back, at the sensation of her breath on his skin.

For the first time in her life since she could remember, she couldn't understand a man. She couldn't understand herself. She knew that if he left this day and did not return, that her being, her soul, would weep and crumble, become ruptured from the inside out. A thousand indescribable agonies she had suffered, and a thousand more she had inflicted herself upon others, and yet none of them compared to this tearing sensation within her chest.

For the first time in her life, she wanted to cry.

"Please don't leave me." She said with such desperation and fear that had never been present in her voice. Those of her kind were never meant to be this weak, yet she could not help it. She keenly felt the agonizing conflict that tormented his mind as the two sides of his soul warred with itself, and with all her heart she hoped that he see the truth.

Damn your conscience. Damn the kingdoms. Damn the world and the Keeper himself. Just stay with me. You don't have to do this. Not alone. Stop being so pig-headed and realize that, please! she pleaded silently, closing her eyes and pressing him against her. She knew why he had such a hard time trusting her, trusting himself. She hated that despite her best efforts, she had apparently failed.

"I have to do this. I can't risk you or your brother or any more of our loved ones coming to harm. It's just me she wants. Just me. It'll be over, one way or another, after tonight. Trust me." he said, each word coated in determination, being otherwise devoid of emotion.

It sent stabs of pain through her heart to hear him speak like she did once upon a time.

"Trust ME." she choked, honing every bit of her training to keep the tears from shedding.

A lump formed in his throat, and his mouth opened and closed several times as he struggled to find something to respond with. He heard the aching in her voice, he felt it and it hurt him more visciously then any of his wounds.

It utterly crushed him.

He turned then and grabbed hold of her tightly, kissing her with fierce passion, drinking her in like a man dying of thirst. He needed her, longed for her, only with her had he felt this sense of belonging. Of being appreciated. Of existing.

Of love.

The unbidden thought struck him powerfully, and a tidal wave of memories fell upon him such crushing weight that he broke of the kiss and literally pushed her away from him.

She had caught it, that one word that had terrorized him so. Without meaning to, she had joined with him when he unexpectantly kissed her. Wanting to keep her promise, she tried to break contact but it was impossible to do so before all his pain swallowed him again.

This time she felt it as clearly as he did. And it was more painful then any man should have to bear. Especially one like him. She could do nothing though, but stare, as she relived every moment, every hurt. It was excruciating, far worse then any simple mind-flaying. It literally left her shaking and senseless.

And he felt like this every time the word love was mentioned?

By the time she had gained presence of mind, he was already out the door.

***I wrote this after reading a book I really liked. It takes a few elements out of that, but they served as inspiration mostly. I wanted to convey certain emotions and physical feelings as clearly as I could, and hope that I succeeded*


Hydragenias 56F

8/29/2006 4:46 am

Welcome to Blogaritaville!

please click here: [post 485524]


ShyWhisper2006 53F
15175 posts
8/31/2006 1:34 am

Welcome to blog land...*smiles*...Very good first posting


rm_Amanes1986 30M
19 posts
8/31/2006 1:02 pm

Thank you very much ^_^


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