Do swinger have lower morals?  

rm_845sat 43M/39F
6 posts
4/17/2006 5:26 pm

Last Read:
4/30/2006 8:29 pm

Do swinger have lower morals?


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I have a friend who know that my wife and I swing. I can't quite remember exactly how she found out, I think it might be on my yahoo profile page, but she looks down on me and my wife because we have sex with other, and I was thinking about it for the last week or so and I wanted to know what you all think. To me I have very high morals, I believe that drugs are bad, and I feel that the children of this country deserve an education better then what they are receiving, I don't steal, cheat or kill so I fell that just because my wife and i are understand that sex is a wonderful and exciting thing that need to be shared with others, and it also keeps the passion going between us. Variety is the spice of life. So let me know how you feel about my friend and let me know on what I can do to improve her position.

hotandhorny107 58F

4/17/2006 10:17 pm

What 2 consenting adults choose to do is between them and them only. Perhaps it was on the page, which may have been an error on your part if you wanted to keep it private.

As to your friend, she may not be the kind of friend you want to keep if she is judging you by this only. Some people have very narrow minds and are unable to understand the ways of others. I would say let it go and see what happens. Maybe this person needs some time to digest the information.


rm_dak1971 45M/45F
20 posts
4/18/2006 11:21 am

Usually most people who view swinging as "bad" to me are not open enough. I consider myself to have high morals as well. I think most people view that swinging is just pure sex with as many poeple as you can get ahold of. For some it is that way, for others its different, but that shouldnt matter. I agree with you that having sex with others is wonderful and exciting and it keeps the spice in our lives as well. The best thing you can do is try and explain to her why you do it and see what happens. I havent been put in this situation yet,i know my family and non-swinging friends wouldnt understand. I have one friend online she isnt a swinger, but she is very sexual. She does and doesnt understand why me and my wife swing. she is single, but she says when she gets married thats it, the only man for her. Swinging is jsut like other topics that is hard to talk to some people, just like politics and religion. Good luck with your friend


rm_845sat 43M/39F
1 post
4/30/2006 8:29 pm

Ok, i am just curious to know, how truthfull are you with your wife/husband? do you tell most or all? what denotes the important stuff?


chewy31903 49M/48F  
7 posts
6/4/2006 8:11 pm

MOST OF OUR FRIENDS KNOW WE SWING, SOME ARE OK WITH IT. SOME THOUGHT WE HAD TO SWING TO MAKE THE MARRIAGE WORK.. THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW STRONG AND GOOD YOUR MARRIAGE HAS TO BE TO PARTICIPATE IN THIS LIFESTYLE. THEY ARE LEARNING IT IS OK BECAUSE WE BRING OUR FRIENDS FROM HERE TO PLACES WITH OUR NON-SWINGING FRIENDS SO THEY CAN SEE WE ARE ALL NORMAL. AND IF THEY CAN'T EXCEPT IT OR UNDERSTAND US THEY CAN ALL KISS MY ASS....


HaulinAss1969 47M
7 posts
6/11/2006 10:40 am

I agree with dak1971. It's a very tought topic to discuss. The funny thing is that most people think about having sex with others (to 1 deg. or another). It's weather or not you act upon it. To swing, your relationship must be STRONG. Swinging can add to a relationship or distroy it. There must be trust.
Another point is that many people don't understand the rules (I'll admit, I don't know them all either). Just because you swing, doesn't mean you are a Whore (M or F). It also doesn't mean you'll fuck anything that moves and you're a sexaholic. I know swingers who are VERY picky.
You may want to take her out to dinner some night and openly / honestly answer any questions she has.
Many people will lie to make themselves look good. I hate people that are phony (fake).
For example - I have a neighbor that neither of them know how to please eachother. They don't even sleep in the same room. I found out she hasn't cum in over a year. He jumps her, pumps her and rolls over when he's done. I have heard both of them complain. He won't do anything to please her, just himself. She's kinda the same way and is very uptight & prudish. She spouts (preaches) morals, etc. She made some accusations that were untrue (thank GOD I had witnesses). I knew he was fucking around. But, last month, I found out she's had an afair and she said it was good, very good, she had an O! She doesn't know that I know, but I find her very 2 faced.
Another example - during an open converstation with some friends, sexual acts performed was a topic. First, Oral sex. I found out (and he got into trouble for opening his mouth infront of eveyone) that she's terrible - a biter (uses teeth). Second, Anal sex was mentioned. She said anal sex is discusting, gross, bad, immoral, etc. My buddy gave me a wierd look when his wife said her ass is "Off Limits!". Later (recently), I found out that she still really sucks at sucking dick, but she Loves anal sex - weekly, they have anal beads, anal toys, etc. And, it gives her the best orgasms.
Be Honest! It's not for all, but don't knock it 'til ya try it. And, don't do it 'til ya talk about it, honestly. Everyone has their limits to what they will and won't do. Don't pressure anyone into it.
Again, do the dinner thing and talk about it with your friend.
Good luck,
Haulin'


rm_bbfreakycpl 47M/40F
1 post
7/3/2006 7:56 am

Good Question,

I think it the way people think or are taught to think. I mean from a young age people are taught ... you date ... meet "the one" ... you get married ... have a family ... you be like everyone else ... and thats it. Well for some that works, but there are those of us who have a deep committed love for our life partner just the same as any "normal couple" would, but we also have an open mindedness that allows us to share this wonderful person that we love so much with special friends. It's a state of mind most will never understand. They think swingers just cut loose and do it with anyone at anytime, but really I find that swingers as a whole are very selective people.

There is nothing more important to me than my wife and family. I always treat my wife with respect. When we swing I look for couples who share our views, this way I know he will treat my love the way I would like her to be treated, and he can count on me treating the love of his life the same way. That sound like good morals to me. I think to most it is the act of swinging ..."your wife or husband having sex with other people" they just can't wrap thier mind around that!

Well look at it this way, most Swinging couples do not have any secrets or lies between them, there are normally no affairs, everything is in the open, wanted and welcomed by both partners. Now how many people in "normal relationships" can say that. I think that being completely honest and open with your husband or wife and and granting their wants, needs, and desires in my opinion is living with high morals. You have to really love and also believe in your partner as well as your relationship to enter the lifestyle successfully. A big part of that is simply respect, respect for your partner, relationship and all others people you come in contact with, and if you have respect you have morals.

You may never be able to change your friends way of thinking or even get her to see things through your eyes, but don't give up. There are a lot of good Books and DVD's that my help you to stimulate her mind, and maybe see how special the lifestyle really is.

If nothing more take comfort in the fact that nobody in the world loves your wife more than you, what is shared between the two of you is special, your always there for each other, if you two love the lifestyle and it makes you guys happy I say that's all the morals you need. Enjoy and good luck with your friend.

Dark of bbfreakycpl


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