a little story that happened to me  

rm_69atchcook 60M
56 posts
11/10/2005 8:27 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

a little story that happened to me

I have had some hard times while I was drinking my self to death and using any drug I could find. I suffer from depression and have as long as I can remember. so the loss of my wife and son was just the last straw. even my real dad killed himself a few years ago [ Bill ][ I never met him, so I guess it runs in the family. because in June this year my son took his own life too. and at the time I'm speaking of that was on my mind.

after the divorce I had times with LOTS of cash and others with none. I never worried about it because more or less money never made me feel better or worse. I lived in good and really bad places. I even had a house in Gary on 11th , all black and I even made friends there. I used to house sit a couple million dollar house for a friend, so I had way ups and way downs. didn't trust anybody and always carried a pistol or 2.

I was on a down swing real bad and had nothing, I went and spent some time with an old girl friends mom who I had always got along with, she seen something I didn't because she kept hoping me and her daughter would get married but that was not going to be, I turned her daughter down for good reason. her mom needed the house painted and some remodeling done so I got that done for her, lived there a couple weeks doing it. when it was done all I knew was I had to go some where, I didn't know where or what to. it seemed I had no feelings left. I told her I was leaving in the morning , but I had no idea where to, but that something had to change.

I got up in the morning stored what I had in her garage and started walking. It was cold and raining slow all day. I had a couple packs of smokes a bottle of vodka and 3 or 4 bucks on me. I walked from about 5 AM till after dark. my feet were wet all day so they were blistered bad. I was hungry, wet , cold and not done walking.

I saw this little restaurant, more a coffee stop. I thought well I got enough for maybe a cup of coffee and soup so I went in. only a couple people there, I'm sure they wondered when I came in, soaking wet , careering a small back pack, walking funny from my blistered feet. I ordered a coffee and asked about soup, it wasn't much so I ordered it too. I was eating and drinking slow so I could warm up a bit too before starting to walk again. I went to the bathroom , when I came back there was more food there, I told the waitress I hadn't ordered it. she pointed to a lady outside getting in her car and said she ordered it for me. I got up to go thank her but she waved smiled got in her car and left . latter when I was leaving I went to pay for the stuff I ordered but the waitress said her and the cook had already taken care of it.

I started walking again but thinking about those people being so nice. I had almost walked to south bend , it was around 2 AM [ 21 hours of walking with wet feet ]. a cop stopped I thought here comes the bad luck. he asked where I was going I told him I don't know. he could tell my feet were bad off and asked me to take my boot off so he could see how bad , I did he acted shocked, had me get in the car. I thought I was going to jail but he took me to a hospital and told the doctor to help me out. the doctor took one look and asked how I was walking at all . gave me pain shots and antibiotic shots never even asked my name. after that the cop took me to the house of some one he knew , they said for me to stay a leased till my feet heeled, I did and then did some roofing with them a couple months. then they knew someone in Mississippi where I could work laying under ground pipe . I rode with one of them down there and stayed for 2 years.

I was in bad shape mentally that night but the people I ran into made me think things over, when I started that walk I wanted to die, but they made me think about it and try a little longer .

so there are still some nice people out there and sometimes when I see someone who needs a hand I can't keep from trying to help, if they ask what I want for it I tell them to do the same for someone else.
if you see some one you can help even just a little , you never know how much you may help. you may have even saved thier life with just a smile!

MillsShipsGayly 51M

11/10/2005 8:50 pm

Pay it forward

BoBoBlazinski 62M

11/10/2005 9:03 pm

Someone was looking after you. I have had some bad times but nothing like that. I really enjoyed reading this because it was straight from the heart. I am so glad you posted this. It does make me think. We just never know how we affect others with our acts of kindness or anger.

slidein2meplz 61F
1994 posts
11/11/2005 9:50 pm

This is the first time I've checked your blog....and I have to say... I'm sittin here with all sorts of stuff goin on inside...mostly I'm choked up...and I don't even know how to describe it.

What you experienced that day...21 hours of walking...hungry, wet, cold, in pain...and then the kindness of strangers is what is known in the Buddhist philosophy as ~~ Shoten Zenjin ~~
....it means "Lifes protective forces".

Functions in life and in the environment that serve to protect us.

These people who touched your life during that 21 hour walk...the lady who bought you dinner, the waitress and the cook, the cop...and the friend of the cop....they were your Shoten Zenjin and protected you.

I don't know you....but I almost feel like had these people not been in your environment at THAT particular time....the outcome of that 21 hour period may have had a completely different ending.

I am so very sorry for your loss and I cannot for a second imagine what you went thru losing your son.

I hope life is better for you now. Peace! Slide{=}

~~~ Just me, poppin to say HI! ~~

wickedwench1960 56F

11/27/2005 9:33 am

Kind words, a smile...offering change to a stranger in the check out line, when obviously they don't have enough money to pay for essentials...

I always act on impulses to be kind...it is my spirit reaching out to help another spirit in need. Oh, that everyone would be as impulsive in kindness, as they are in anger...what a better world this would be! Thanks for sharing, Atch...


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