Soapbox chatter!  

rm_4g8tfun 48F
9 posts
11/7/2005 12:55 pm

Last Read:
5/21/2006 1:15 pm

Soapbox chatter!

I'm a virgin blogger so take it easy on

I have been on AdultFriendFinder on and off for a couple of years now. I must say that there have been ups and downs. I have met some very lovely people through this site. But what gets me is the amount of non-genuine people on here. I have had men posing as women, men posing as couples, couples posing as women to attract other women, etc. Is it so hard to be honest? I mean come on folks...what does it accomplish? When you tell a load of lies to attract someone do you not think you will ever get caught out?

But on the bright side I have met some very lovely men, women, and couples from this site. Most of whom I have remained friends with. It has been a truly mind freeing experience being on this site. Up until a few years ago I was a bit shy when it came to the more adventurous side of sex. Being brought up in the Bible belt of the US I was taught that it was wrong to have sexual fantasies, to sleep with anyone before you were married, to sleep with more than one person at a time or with a person of the same sex. If anyone dared to do anything sexually against the grain they were ostresized (sp?) from society. Well I am glad to say that I have overcome that shyness now and talk quite openly and freely about my sexual desires and fantasies. I don't think it makes a person depraved just because they like to be adventurous. As long as the persons involved are consenting adults and no one is hurt I say let your imaginations go and let yourself experience the great pleasures that uninhibited sex can bring. But you still have to be careful of others boundaries. There are some lines that some people just don't want to cross. Uninhibited sex can be a beautiful thing...even amongst friends. Once you give in to your desires you become a much more giving and confident person as well. It's a fantastic feeling!

I would also like to say something to all the men who approach women on this site. I get some pretty aweful emails from men sometimes and my first instinct is to instantly delete them. Show a bit of courtesy and respect and don't treat us all like a piece of meat on a hook. Okay some women like that kind of thing..but find out first if they do before you say something that might offend them. Don't take it for granted that just because our profile is on this site that we like to be talked to like cheap whores. There are women that like that but not all of us do. For me personally, I believe that there is a time for that sort of talk (done playfully of course) when you get to know someone and you have built a level of trust and friendship, but not before.

And lastly...does anyone ever read through the complete profile before contacting a person. From the emails that I receive I don't believe they do. It is worth reading through a persons complete profile sometimes because it can really give you an insight in to the type of person they are. Take some time to get to know the person before making assumptions. There are some very lovely people on this just have to look a bit deeper than the skin...and think with something other than your genitals.

I will get off my soap box now...just wanted to express my views on a few things. My aim is not to offend if I have I apologise. (But if it has then maybe it has struck a chord of truth).

fuckbuddy495 39M

11/7/2005 2:29 pm

Couldn't agree with you more, 4g8tfun. It is basic etiquette to meet and greet before diving in at the sexually explicit deep end.

It is tempting in some instances to be explicit, but subtlety avoids the possibility of causing offence -- and you can always get onto the more spicy topics later, when BOTH parties are comfortable in doing so, not just the male.

The benefits of spending five to ten minutes digesting a profile are twofold -- you can avoid wasting yours and their time by spotting things that put you off contacting them; and you can gain a deeper insight into the person, which should give you a much better idea of what to say (and what not to say).

I've emailed/instant messengered with a few women who LOVE talking dirty and enjoy it to the core (thanks, you know who you are!!), but communications on such a level should be a point you arrive at, not the point at which you begin.

rm_mcfornow 49M

11/7/2005 3:04 pm

Dully noted, and I will extend my curiosity to you, as a gentleman to a lady.

rm_4g8tfun 48F
1 post
11/8/2005 9:32 am

Wow...wasn't really expecting a reply...but I am glad that you agree with my comments. It's just a matter of courtesy after all. I know what you mean about the dick pics though. There is nothing that turns me off more. Women generally have a very aesthetically pleasing body, but men you sort of missed out when the creator gave you that little blow hole. Sorry! Mens bodies are lovely bar that one feature. Why not show some partially clothed shots that leave a little to a girl's imagination. After all the size of the penis does not indicate the level of performance. I speak from experience on this one.

rm_simon234233 39M
37 posts
11/9/2005 11:50 am

Yours is not the first post in that vein I have read. I vow to be honest! and to change my picy.

aragorn5722 56M

4/13/2006 3:19 pm

Of course all that you say is true.

Unfortunately there are many women advertising here at the lowest common demoninator - giving the impression that they are making themselves generally available.

Do not misunderstand..whatever anyone does on this site is cool with me..anyone visiting here is likely pretty unshockable..and so no harm done if it gets a little excessive.

Men, however, tend to be more sexually aggressive, so if the women are fairly careless in their advertising, it is difficult to prevent the men from going over the top. It is optimistic to suppose that men will treat a woman as anything other than a slapper if she portrays herself as such.

Me, I avoid any women who offer themselves in an unduly explicit manner, pictorially, on the basis that men are so undiscerning that a long queue will form regardless of what it says in their profile. I favour women who present themselves discretely....and I treat them with the respect that they deserve and are presumably expecting.


hairyone70 59M
1 post
5/1/2006 10:16 am

whow what a woman i congradulate u on ur franknes would like to talk

rm_stannoo122 56M
1 post
5/21/2006 7:31 am

forget wot they all say. we r all the same. we just want sex

rm_jean2266 52F
6 posts
5/31/2006 2:57 pm

agree with all your comments,,well said .. I get sick of 'dick pics' bein sent to me,, i delete them now without even bothering to read them .. jxx

MilkTrayManUK 40M

8/30/2006 3:31 pm

At the risk of being a pedant, but also showing I'm one of the few men here who appear to be able to spell, it's "ostracized" or "ostracised" - depending which side of the pond you're on. Have your Americanisms been knocked out of you now?

I find the Deep South a fascinating (clincally,) place. I remember being in Alabama at a gas station where there was a handwritten sign behind the cashier which read: 'Shoplifters will be shot.' Hanging next to it was the shotgun with which you would be shot. Subtle huh?

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