Up or Down? The Age Old Question  

rm_3_Eyes 59M
5 posts
2/12/2006 8:17 am

Last Read:
5/18/2006 9:08 pm

Up or Down? The Age Old Question

Up or Down? The Age Old Question:

Get your minds out of the gutter, and into the sewer, because I am not speaking of erections and dysfunctions, but the toilet seat.

Recently read a Valentine's article regarding 26 ways to make your woman smile. Of course, being a typical guy, around number 15 I went into the "yadda, yadda" mode, (which may explain why I don't have a wife or girlfriend!) but when I re-focused, I noticed that the toilet seat issue had not been addressed. Despite some quality commentary, I simply had to discount the value of this article based on this glaring omission.

Obviously, this is not an "age old" question, since indoor plumbing is a relatively new convenience. I am sure that George and Martha did not contend over this, and besides, she hopefully realized that our first President had more important issues which with to deal.

Anyway, I was "potty" trained by an ex-fiance decades ago. (Yes, apparently even my efforts in this area could not save the relationship!)
I realized that it made no difference to me, but it made a difference to her, so I learned a behavior. Personally, I look every time I sit down . . .; but I digress.

There is no additional aesthetic value in the toilet, whether the seat is up or down. Although it is functionally the centerpiece of your home's bathroom, it certainly is not there to catch one's eye in admiration.

Speaking of which, why hasn't there been some design changes in the commode? Sinks, faucets, bathtubs, and even toilet paper holders have made great architectural strides. Why has the toilet lagged? Yes, some are oval, some round; some seats horseshoe-shaped, others enclosed. Surely, something can be done.

And, why do we call it a bathroom, or even worse, a rest room? I usually only bathe once a day, rarely rest in there. My flush handle gets a much more strenuous workout. I am sure that George Carlin has addressed this in one of his brlliant monogues, but somehow I must have missed it.

Getting back on course, the real answer is: neither. The lid should be down!!! Besides keeping odors in, it keep foreign objects out: dogs, kids, toothbrushes, spare change, etc. Is there anyone of us that had not done the miracle shot? Your razor slipping from your hand, bouncing off the faucet, ricocheting to the edge of the sink counter, and plummeting into that great abyss.

In addition, the lid down provides additional seating space to either: rest(see above), clip your toenails, or promulgate passionate encounters with your mate.

Speaking for the women (which is always dangerous), I would think that she would rather accidentally settle on a pliable plastic cover, than to be jolted back to the cold reality of porcelain. Of course, the obvious pitfall is the moronic man who does not look before he goes. But c'mon guys! If we are so supposedly visual, it should come natural. And, having to lift the lid will force the boys to at least think about raising the seat as well, instead of thinking that we are accurate enough with our toys to not spray even a drop on the seat. I am sure we have all had that one pubic hair over the tip that splits our stream into two. Although, it is pretty cool at first, you must admit that it diminishes accuracy!

But, if we are indeed so visual, even with the seat up, how do we manage to miss the bowl so often? We love to aim and shoot; it is our "hunter" instinct. And who among us has not tried to sink that cigarette butt with a steady stream of "ammonia"ition?

Why haven't home "bathrooms" been equipped with urinals? This would not only avoid offline targeting issues, but splashbacks as well. Some have bidets. Are urinals that much less attractive than commodes?

Anyway, I have been sitting here drinking a beer, so I had better "go" myself.

rm_PurryKitty2 48M/49F
9753 posts
2/12/2006 8:57 am

Good question.....



2/12/2006 9:29 am

I have to agree it should stay down. It does seam to be a catch all, at the improper time. No one likes to clean them let alone have to retrieve something that has fallen in. Too bad a lot of men don’t follow your pattern it only takes a second to drop it. Isn’t it funny how such a little thing can keep peace.

gentlyplease20 55F

5/28/2006 6:22 pm

I usually didnt mind until I sat down and forgot to check...and as long as you go IN the toilet and not ON....

Become a member to create a blog