Why him? Why now?  

rm_36specialk 48F
731 posts
10/23/2005 8:31 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Why him? Why now?

I went to Mr. X's place yesterday. We went fishing, took a nap, had a great day. We're getting along great, things couldn't be better except for the whole he lives 2 1/2 hours away thing.

So...now another friend decided that he kinda likes me I guess. I like him too, and that's the problem. He didn't decide this (or at least I didn't know about it) until he found out about Mr. X.

Before now we didn't have a "serious" kind of relationship, just chatting and UNBELIEVEABLE sex. The kind of sex that leaves you worn out, all sweaty, the room looks like a tornado hit and you feel completely and totally content.

Anyway, I've been nothing but honest with him, told him about Mr. X, and so we decided to just be friends. We've gone out once, going out again in a couple of weeks, no more sex, just a hug and kiss (on the cheek). Feels strange though, because I do really like him and he's a great guy.

I guess being married for so long and not having to deal with my emotions (because I shut them all down) has made it even more confusing for me. I didn't worry about anyone else's feelings or emotions when I was married, I didn't care. Now I care.

I guess I will just continue to be honest...not only with my friend and Mr. X, but with myself. I feel like sometimes I'm keeping my friend around as a "back up" but then that's not true either. I really like him, I guess he just didn't "hit me over the head (or heart)" like Mr. X did. Sometimes I guess these things are better when not rushed.

I don't have any idea what I'm doing. I haven't been in love in so long that I'm not sure what it's suppose to feel like anymore. But I'm sure that when it happens I'll know. I just wish I could drop my guard long enough to let it happen. I'm always waiting for the other ball to drop I guess. Will it ever happen? I'm not sure anymore. I think I love Mr.X, but how can I and still have feelings for my friend??? Some may say I want my cake and eat it too, but that's not the case. Or maybe it is. I'll let you know when I figure it all out.

Why does life have to be so hard?


SirMounts 102M

10/31/2005 11:19 pm

Well, it might have something to do with the... bridge, between a Man and a woman.


abouzabgharib 48M

11/10/2005 11:02 am

ok


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