Who are you?  

rm_36specialk 48F
731 posts
2/12/2006 3:28 pm

Last Read:
3/24/2006 7:42 am

Who are you?

Alright, enough crying in my coffee.

I made all of my employees valentine bags, you know, the kind you made in kindergarden and hung off of the side of your desk.

Anyway, all of the bags are filling up, there are stuffed animals, big cards, flowers poking out of them. Even my bag (yes, the dreaded boss lady) has cute stuff in it. So, Valentine's day is going to be what I thought it would be. It'll be me and my friends, working side by side, laughing, having fun and reading our cute little cards.

Mr.X called me yesterday, he wants me to come down on Monday night and spend the night with him. That'll be nice. I am hoping that he'll change his mind about going home, but that's just me being selfish I guess. I just want him here with me, so I can have him. If he's not going to be happy here, then I guess he needs to persue his happiness. He's got to do what's right for him. I'll miss him and it's going to absolutely crush my heart, but if it's what he needs to do then I can't deny him the opportunity to be happy.

Fairy tales teach us that we can be happy just by being with another person, reguardless of money or careers or circumstances. But that isn't true. I think that we have to be happy with ourselves to be happy with anyone else. I guess that knowing this is the only thing that is going to get me through the next couple of months if he goes home.

I was chatting with my friend Mmphmm today and he said that he could tell that I really know who I am...well, I guess I do, but it doesn't make me want anything any less. I do know who I am, but at times I feel as if Mr.X is a sort of an extension of me. Like if I didn't have him here to talk with that maybe my decisions would be harder to make, like I need him to assure me and to push me at times. I know that I've only been seeing him for 6 months, maybe a little longer, but I've never known anyone that makes me think or question things like he does. Don't judge others. Don't participate in the drama.

So, this being said, do you know yourself? Or are you an extension of someone else's personality? Do you find yourself becoming what your significant other wants you to be? I hear women say it all the time that they are training their boyfriends or husbands. Or that they will change their boyfriend or husband. I don't think I would want to have to change for anyone, or have anyone change for me. If you aren't who you are, then who are you?

HeardLankaMalls 55M
2925 posts
2/13/2006 4:38 am

I think we are who we are. We might sometimes change small things that don't matter in order to appease another's opinion (clothes we wear for example). But we are who we've taken all these years to become. Change is usually a slow process that we have to convince ourselves to undertake. Some chiding along the way helps, but we are the only ones who can change the big things about us (in my opinion of course). Asking someone to change something about themselves is a tough order. If they fail, are they failing also that person who asked? And, if we have any feelings for the person, why are we asking them to change for us?

The foibles of human nature I guess.


hooks1952 64M

2/13/2006 1:30 pm

You know suggar , about the worst thing that I ever overheard one of my girlfriends say about me was that she owned me , well no one person owns me and also I don't own anyone , if two people find happiness together (so be it) but don't try and take control of another , you're in the right grove as far as I can tell.

Lot's of luck , and that red sucker that you put in your mouth from your little bag , it could have come from hooks.


Mmphmm 45M
592 posts
2/15/2006 3:49 am

I'm in total agreement with the panel SPESH

P.S."are you an extension of someone else's personality"
Sometimes we can be without realising both platonic or otherwise.
Then as mzhunyhole says.... we wake up

Take a step back...... and kissss yourself!!! and one more just for the frisk

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