Happy sexy valentine's day...  

rm_36specialk 48F
731 posts
2/14/2006 12:32 pm

Last Read:
3/24/2006 7:41 am

Happy sexy valentine's day...

Well, Valentine's day is here, I received red roses from a friend, boxed chocolates and cards from my kids, lots of cards, gourmet coffee and a new coffee mug strawberry cake and cookies. I got all of this stuff, but I've decided that it isn't what you get on Valentine's day that matters, when it's the something you didn't get that you wanted so badly. All I wanted was a card, sweet and sappy or silly and fun, didn't matter...The only thing I wanted was to wake up in Mr.X's arms and have him give me a card that he'd made or picked out. I won't divulge what he did give me, but it wasn't a card. Yes, I got a lot of cards today, probably more than any one person should get, but it was that one little card that I wanted.

So, I sit here, putting on a happy face, it's fake, but it's still a happy face.

I don't know how I've been unclear about my feelings for Mr.X, but he says that he wishes that he knew where he stood with me. Hmmmm...I've tried to open up and tell him how I feel, but I guess I haven't done a very good job of it. I feel awful. How could I not let this man that I love not know how I feel in clear and precise wording. I've written it down for him, told him, I even made him a card for Valentine's day with a sappy poem in it that I thought was quite romantic and pretty clear about how I feel about him.

Maybe it's because I'm not needy, that's what a friend told me. She says that he just doesn't understand me. I'm not needy, I don't need constant reassurance that he loves me. I trust him and I'm not one to be jealous or untrusting. I trust that if he didn't want me or wanted to be with someone else that he'd tell me. I'm not a little girl, and I don't play little girl games. I'm not going to gush and hang on my Mr.X, I'm not going to constantly question him about other women. I know that he has other women friends, but he says they're just friends and if I can't trust him then we won't ever have any kind of relationship. A true relationship has to be based upon trust anyway.

I started to pull the car over on the shoulder of I75 this morning and tell him that I'm sorry that I've made him wonder about how I feel for him, and tell him that I love him with my whole heart. But, I chickened out. I guess looking back that it would have been quite romantic, but he was sleeping and I didn't want to wake him.

Oh well, I hope you all got what you wanted for Valentine's day. And, I hope my Mr.X will realize that I can be taken for face value, I'm not complex, and he doesn't have to wonder if I'm hiding anything from him. I just love him, that's all. No bit secret, I don't worry about what he's doing when I'm not around, I trust him. I hope he trust me too, because my heart belongs only to him.

HeardLankaMalls 55M
2925 posts
2/15/2006 4:26 am

It sounds like you've told him in many different ways K.
He's either going to realize it, or not. Hope for you he does (or admits it maybe).

DTduzDallas 50F

2/17/2006 8:55 am

Awe **hugs**

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