|Blogs > rm_36specialk > Can someone tell me why???|
So, I've been told a couple of times this week by a couple of different people that I think too much. Is that a bad thing? I don't know.
I took one of those online tests that tells you which side of your brain you use, and it seems that I use both sides hmmm. I guess I'm one of those rare people I don't know. I also took a test to see which zodiac sign I'm most compatable with, and an I.Q. test. I like those tests, don't know why, but I do.
So, I guess that's why I've been thinking so much, it's because I'm using more of my brain than I'm suppose to, but you'd think that using both sides would have made my I.Q. score higher. Hmmm...there I go thinking again.
I think for other people too, did you know that? Yep, I try to figure out what other people are thinking all of the time. I usually think they have some alterior thoughts going on other than what they say or do. My own draw back, because I forget to take people at their face value. I read too much into little things I guess.
I was trying not to think too much this morning, when a friend of mine came by and asked me to come meet his new "friend". I asked, "who is he and why do I want to meet him?" He told me, "It's not a he." Ahhh, I get to meet the new girlfriend. Goody! She was cute, polite, worried about not having her makeup on yet. I assured her that I didn't care about that, I don't put my makeup on until I have to.
Anyway, meeting his girlfriend got me started thinking again...I've been seeing Mr.X for about 7 months now, and I haven't met any of his friends. If they call while I'm with him, he makes an excuse not to do anything with them, but it's never that I'm with him or that we're planning to do something else, it's that he's tired or he's doing something else. So, can you guess what I'm thinking now? Yep...why hasn't he introduced me to any of his friends and do they know I even exist?
Now, it doesn't make him untrustworty, just secretive. It doesn't make me love him any less, it just puts a question in my head. I didn't think that it bothered me, but I guess it does a little. It's my own fault. If I take him at face value, he's kind, funny, sweet, thoughtful, smart, hard working, and sexy, did I mention that he's so freaking sexy. He posesses all of the qualities that I'd ever look for in a man and he's ruined it for any other man that would ever want to be with me, because he's raised the proverbial "bar" to an incredibly high standard. When this relationship is over, it will take forever to find another man to live up to the standards that he's set.
I never thought that thinking too much could get me into trouble, but it has...it's caused trouble within my own self. My head and my heart don't communicate that well. When my heart wants something, my head tends to overanalize everything, asking a million questions and my heart ignores all of the questions.
NOW...If I could just get all of the things that I think to come out of my mouth I'd probably be ok. But, I tend to keep it all inside, analizing everything within my own head. Instead of asking the tough questions and finding out the true answers, the answers that I am afraid of, I keep it all inside. Everything. I am so scared of rejection, and I don't know why. I've always been terrified of rejection. I've always been the one to end my relationships, I never have been "dumped" or had anyone turn me down, so I don't know where this fear comes from. It's stupid I know, but I can't help it. Lesson's in rejection should be taught in a class somewhere, either in elementary or high school. I know some people deal with rejection better than others, but I don't know how well I'd deal with it. I'm sure I'd be fine, but one never knows until they go through it.
Anyway, I don't know what the point of this post is, but I had to get it out of my head anyway, because I've been thinking too much again of course and everything is getting backed up again.
3/5/2006 9:15 am
I am thinking it is possible for you to use both sides of your brain. I do. I find though that I seem to only use one at a time, at times. When I am working I can use both at the same time as I have to, but when I go home or go into the recreation side of my life I use only one, especially when it comes to women.|
The use of both sides of my brain is just impossible in that area.
I would suggest that if your new male playtoy does not want you to meet his friends there is a problem. Either he is married, or has no friends. Either way you have managed to do what I do and not used both sides of your brain at the same time.
You know there is a problem here but might just not want to see the reality of what is going on.
After 7 months, if he is not comfortable in showing you off to his friends then I would be suspect as to how high the bar is actually.
I think it is strange. Unless of course you only ever intended this relationship to be physical and he is that good in that department that you have managed to over look this rather serious flaw.
3/5/2006 5:05 pm
The thing that stikes me the most is that you already assume it will be over. I don't know the whole story, so maybe I'm missing something, but you wrote, "He posesses all of the qualities that I'd ever look for in a man and he's ruined it for any other man that would ever want to be with me, because he's raised the proverbial "bar" to an incredibly high standard. When this relationship is over, it will take forever to find another man to live up to the standards that he's set. |
Is this a shortterm thing? If so, why worry about what he tells his friends? If not, why are you subconsciously expecting it to end? I am not taking up for the guy at all, but his reluctance to expose you to his friends could be due to an insecurity that exists because on some subconcious level, he is tuning into your certainity that this relationship will not last.
I'm no shrink. Just pointing out possibilities.