Don't be so freaking stupid!!  

rm_36specialk 48F
731 posts
10/26/2005 6:14 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Don't be so freaking stupid!!

I've been thinking lately (I know, not a good thing). But I've got a lot of friends and this is just bugging the hell out of me. My women friends (all of them) are either married or living with a man that they are either cheating on or complain about on a constant basis. And my men friends are ALL single.

Friend 1: She's married to the father of 2 of her children, living with the father of her 3rd child and having an affair with another guy. She says she's going to leave the guy she's living with to move in with affair boy but won't do it because affair boy doesn't make as much money as 2nd guy. She isn't divorced because her 1st guy hasn't paid the $200. fee to the mediator.

Friend 2: Married to a man that she complains about CONSTANTLY. She has had numerous affairs over the course of the past few years and when she get's caught always breaks it off and rushes back to her husband.

Friend 3: Caught her husband cheating on her a couple of months before she married him. She is the one that surprises me...She's very intelligent (pre-med actually) but when she found out about the affair she became physically sick wanting him back. I've known them for about 5 years now and he's cheated on her as long as I've known them.

So this is what I wonder...when did it become so important for a woman to be in a relationship? Good or bad or otherwise? I would rather be alone than to be in a relationship with a cheater or someone that I don't love or respect. Is the financial aspect of the relationship worth the sacrifice of your happiness?

Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE MEN...I hope to be married or at least in a meaningful relationship again one day. But a marriage is suppose to be 50/50 isn't it? Not one person giving and the other taking.

Maybe I just don't understand women anymore...men don't confuse me nearly as much as women do. Men are usually pretty easy. Most of them are pretty up front given the chance.

So ladies, have you been a dependant? Are you a dependant? Dependant on a man or another woman for money, or a place to live, or to boast your self esteem...anything? Or are you an independant, strong, smart woman that isn't going to be dependant on anyone or anything to control your happiness?

My favorite quote: "How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself." Anais Nin


Mmphmm 45M
592 posts
10/30/2005 11:35 pm

Wow.....
This is much more fascinating than the odd pic of someone's tit's and no reply's(Lo. Until this morning I didn't know what a blog was.. this place is like a labrynth, but it seems that curiosity got the better of me and came up trumps.

I think it's both, a sad state of affairs & wrong... aren't we supposed to be building toward an equal footing for both sex's?

I believe there's a lot of truth in what you've written,
but it would be too easy to lay blame on women, so many factors in society influence us.. money for example.. Equal pay has been an issue for as long as I can remember.. in fact nowaday's I would say society's killer mentality of exist to work embraces the rising cost of living like a long lost friend.
Women feel like they have no life, men feel like they have no life... and some are plain ignorant, like pig's in shit "excuse my french"(Loand act in wanton abandon male and female. Because we're being sold a false prophecy.

Society is a selfish place to live, change has to start somewhere (if at all) and who's to say when it stops.

Strewth mate... Where did that shite come from? LoL.x


Mmphmm 45M
592 posts
10/30/2005 11:38 pm

Love the Quote.


JNines 68M  
143 posts
12/26/2005 10:21 am

Society, media etc. depict this myth that everyone will be happier with "someone". Therefore, most of us are in a quest for the "pefect" someone. I think (and this is a male point of view) women "buy into" this more than men. They are programmed from an early age (Prince Charming, Cinderalla, etc.)to believe this "crap". Intellectually, we all know "Mr/Ms. Perfect" doesn't exist. However, that doesn't stop the heart from painting a different picture. Therefore, we compromise. For most of us compromising is quite acceptable, we win more than we lose. Marriage and a relationship are really supposed to be 100/100 where everyone gives 100%. However, it never is. It certainly isn't in my marriage. Sometimes, I'm giving 80/20. Sometimes i'm only giving 20/80. There is always an imbalance somewhere. Therefore we compromise on the 50/50 or the 60/40 or even the 20/80. I guess the real question for all of us including your friends 1, 2 and 3 is our/their perception of the benefits they are getting out of their relationships/marriages vs the imbalances they live with. I could go down the list of each of them and give my thoughts. However, I won't.
The only thing we can do is not pass judgement. If they are really friends, then offer them comfort and aid where we can. Hopefully, we will have our own moral compass and set of values to live by. As long as we are true to those, we will be okay.


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