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More Of My Crazy Life
More Of My Crazy Life
These past few days have been weird, good but fucking weird.
Yesterday I woke up and to the telephone at about 10 am "What kind of bastard would call me at this time of day I thought."
It was Aleron Corporation where my step dad works and the placeI had put in a resume about a month back. They want me to go in on the 21st for an interview at 10 am. This is the kind of job
you do not say no to.
12/13 dollars an hour, Medical/Dental coverage, 401k plan, 8-5 4 days a week and a lunch break.
Later that day I went to my friend/bartenders house to lift weights. I have come to the conclusion that I'm way too out of Shape for my age.I worked out for about an hour then came home.
Now what you need to know is that 3 days earlier I had made a phone call to my old guitar player Butch. During that time I told him to let Mark, (my old drummer) know that the next time I see him
I was going to punch him in the mouth.
So I come home yesterday after lifting weights to this message.
"Hey Eric, it's Mark, I just talked with Butch, I like what you said.
Call me back."
After laughing for about 5 minutes I gave him a call but there was no answer.
So I went Down to my favorite bar and they were closing at 11 when I got there, cause the fucking rats in charge of it didn't think the
water bill needed to be paid and they were wrong. So I downed 2 Krona's, and a shot of Mescal, and called it a night.
Today I woke up at about 8 am for work. I got dressed went down stairs and for some reason thought I should check the answering machine.
There was a message on there from my boss saying that I didn't have to be there till 1 today and that I worked at 9 tomorrow, Mother fucker!
So I went back to sleep, I woke up at 12:47 and knew I had to haul ass.I made it there with 5 minutes to spare (I love my car) then it was all
pretty much the same old shit for the rest of the day.
Then I got home at about 6:25 and called my friend and and he told me
"Hey man I have to take a piss test to day if I don't pass I can't get
my medication. Do you think you could go piss for me it's just the hospital they will never know."
So we worked out a plan. I went to the gift shop while he did all the paper work at the registration desk, I knew my writing would never
pass for his. He came back down the hall and we both walked to the lab.
When we got there I ran into a big problem. I had to sign a little piece to confirm that I was him. It wanted his Name Birth date and time
of signature and I couldn't remember the month he was born, the day and year I knew, I also knew it was either Nov. or Dec. I simply picked the wrong one. November not December, but by the time I had asked him the paper work was already done.
Oh well the place is run by fools they'd never catch it. The problem is on my way back to pee they handed me a cup and said "Here you go
just go right in there do what you have to do and when your done we'll do the blood test. (FUUUUUUUUUCK! I'm gonna fucking hang that bastard for this one.) So I did all they asked and we walked right out the door.
So if I wind up in jail for fraud in a few weeks you'll know why I'm not here and that is because we don't have the same blood type, at least not that I know of.
Oh well what are friends for.