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The Best Excuse
The Best Excuse
A wife came home early to find her husband making love to a
beautiful and sexy young woman. "You unfaithful, disrespectful jerk!
What are you doing? How dare you do this to me, your faithful wife, the
mother of your children! I'm leaving this house and I want a divorce!"
The husband, replied, "Wait! Wait a minute! Before you leave, at
least listen to what happened."
"It'll be the last thing I will ever hear from you so make it fast,
you cheating creep."
"While I was driving home, this young lady asked for a ride. I saw
that she was so defenseless that I went ahead and allowed her into my
car. I noticed that she was very thin, poorly dressed, and dirty. She
mentioned that she had not eaten for three days. Out of compassion, I
brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night.
Remember... the ones that you wouldn't eat because you're afraid
you'll gain more weight? When I served them to her, the poor young
thing, practically inhaled them.
Since she was dirty, I asked her if she'd like to bathe. While she
was showering, I noticed her clothes were worn-out and full of holes so
I threw them away. Since she now needed clothes, I gave her the pair of
jeans that you no longer wear because they're too tight on you! I also
gave her the blouse that I gave you for our anniversary... the one
you don't wear because you say I don't have good taste. I also gave her
the pullover that my sister gave you for Christmas... that one you
won't wear just to bother my sister. I also gave her the boots that you
bought at that expensive boutique... the ones that you swore you would
never wear again after you saw your co-worker wearing the same pair.
After she got dressed, I walked the young woman to the door where
she turned around, and with tears of gratitude streaming down her
cheeks, she asked me, "Sir, do you have anything else your wife doesn't