How do you determine who you meet or delete?  

reverend21 49M
1017 posts
2/7/2006 2:12 am

Last Read:
4/10/2006 6:55 pm

How do you determine who you meet or delete?

What is your formula, for choosing a person who has contacted you via AdultFriendFinder (or any dating site for that matter)to meet or interact with that person or to never contact them? I am asking this question, because I have like 41 women I have invited to join my friend network, in hopes of pursuing interests that I found were common. 22 Women flat out declined, 23 are pending, I guess they have to think about it for awhile. I find myself sending winks, little notes, and invites for conversation, dinner, or just flat out sex if that is their desire. Of those 41 women, six have actually done more than invited my invite only. Maybe I'm having self confidence issues, but I don't know, do I seem to come off as unreal, to dramatic, etc. Any assistance in this issue would be appreciated, but you don't have to use me, please enlighten me on your own process of elimination and how you choose to contact people.


MissAnnThrope 56F
11488 posts
2/7/2006 2:43 am

Network invitations are bullshit. Notice it's a friends network. In other words, unless someone is trying to get on the most networked list, they're not going to accept someone who wanders into a chat room and starts inviting every fucking woman in there. As a matter of fact, in the rooms where I hang out, the women tend to abuse the guys who come in and start inviting, without even so much as a hi.

Winks are bullshit too. I don't even look at my winks and I don't know any women on here who do. No one pays attention to winks. This isn't Lavalife.

Do something about your form letter. If I got a note asking me for conversation, dinner or flat out sex, it would tell me that the person who sent it didn't bother to read my profile and that most of the women in a 50 mile radius got the same note.

Look, this is just like any other personals site on the Internet. It is in essence a dating site and most women use it as such. Most of the women who post the most provocative pictures that I know, do it as a test. To see if men who write to them can talk about anything else. This site, just as any other dating site is work. You have to put in the effort and then hope for the best.

But to answer your question, yes, you do come off as unrealistic. You seem to think that winks, invites and form letters are going to work. Be yourself. Write something real when you write to women. Respond to their profile. Then maybe, you might get a response that isn't from one of the cam girl sites.


rm_carter19672 49M
1 post
2/7/2006 2:47 am

i dont think there is a formula friend, i'm beginning to wonder if most of them are real or not really serious.i have also contacted several women etc and have had the same result.i dont think i'll be renewing the subscription if thats what you call it


MissAnnThrope 56F
11488 posts
2/7/2006 2:50 am

Network invitations are bullshit. Notice it's a friends network. In other words, unless someone is trying to get on the most networked list, they're not going to accept someone who wanders into a chat room and starts inviting every fucking woman in there. As a matter of fact, in the rooms where I hang out, the women tend to abuse the guys who come in and start inviting, without even so much as a hi.

Winks are bullshit too. I don't even look at my winks and I don't know any women on here who do. No one pays attention to winks. This isn't Lavalife.

Do something about your form letter. If I got a note asking me for conversation, dinner or flat out sex, it would tell me that the person who sent it didn't bother to read my profile and that most of the women in a 50 mile radius got the same note.

Look, this is just like any other personals site on the Internet. It is in essence a dating site and most women use it as such. Most of the women who post the most provocative pictures that I know, do it as a test. To see if men who write to them can talk about anything else. This site, just as any other dating site is work. You have to put in the effort and then hope for the best.

But to answer your question, yes, you do come off as unrealistic. You seem to think that winks, invites and form letters are going to work. Be yourself. Write something real when you write to women. Respond to their profile. Then maybe, you might get a response that isn't from one of the cam girl sites.

Oh, your other question? My process of elimiation is simple. Some guy lying about his age, or anything else that his pic shows is a lie. Idiots who send me phone numbers or IM names get deleted. Form letters get deleted. Mail that doesn't open itself up to a dialogue gets deleted. Men who are so not my type, or of a race I find unattractive, (i.e. guidos and neanderthals) get deleted. Men who make Wilfred Brimley look sexy and are trying to pass as 45 get deleted. Men who can't write in comlete sentences, complete words or have no concept of grammar get deleted.

Now, with all of that said, fix your profile. You used way too many of the stock lines the site provides you with for profiles. Not to mention you contradict yourself. Saying you're looking for someone for a serious, live-in relationship in one breath and then you're not looking to change your life in the next is sending MIXED MESSAGES to any woman that reads your profile. Get rid of the stock line the site provides and write from your heart and say what you really want. Don't just pick and choose lines that look good from a list.


rm_cockmerollme 45F
1223 posts
2/7/2006 3:00 am

Two words: Spelling errors.

LET'S GO METS!!!


frogger1995 39F

2/7/2006 3:04 am

I have to agree with MissAnnThrope in some part. Winks don't mean a thing. Women get so many e-mails that they don't bother looking at winks...it usually means someone was too cheap/indecisive/cynical to pay for a full membership in order to send messages.

Your message seemed great to me...no problems there. It wasn't an obvious form letter or a simple hello and contact info ( we HATE that). Your profile seems fine as well...you filled in all the blanks. I personally don't contact anywone with a lot of Prefer Not To Say or things not filled out. This is including the extra stuff like what movies you like and what you are into sexually. Otherwise you don't seem serious or are just plain lazy...two no-nos

I also NEVER respond if there is no face pic either in the profile or in a message to me...so you are ok there as well. Plus you have a nice face.

BTW I only invite/accept people to my network to view their pics and they mine.

carter19672 is right in a way too. Many women here are either window shopping, attention whores, or fake. Be prepared for A LOT of work on your part. It's good if she has REAL testimonials or a blog then at least you know she may not be fake and you can find out what she is into.


frangipanigal 44F
10406 posts
2/7/2006 3:11 am

I think Miss Ann has hit the nail on the head!

If I get a message that shows the person has "cut and paste" and sent it to a 100 different people, I delete it without responding.

I dont accept any newtork invites until after I after I have met people and want to see more of them.

I know it is hypocritical of me, but a picture does tell a 1000 words. I didnt have a profile pic up for 8 months because I wanted people to be interested in me for what I said not what I did or did not look like, but the men:women ration means that women can get away with no pic.

Search the profile by criterias that are important to you. Add them to your "hotlist" and then take the time to write them a personal note that relates to them and what it was that drew you to them.

I dont know...that's just my two cents worth, not sure if it's any help!

Good luck.

Frangi


rm_PurryKitty2 48M/49F
9753 posts
2/7/2006 3:22 am

I would invite people into my network that you are talking with alot and perhaps have met. The winks are fun and seem to work to start conversations. Just dont invite women because of their breasts, talk to them, laugh, and then invite them.

Purry {=}

Purry


reverend21 49M
1913 posts
2/7/2006 3:42 am

MissAnnThrope, yor comments are appreciated, but I don't have a form letter, each letter is unique to the person and their profile and preferences. I try to be myslef because I'd be at a loss attempting to be someone else. I will agree, with you that I used the formatted intro's and I will change that, thanks.


caressmewell 53F

2/7/2006 6:10 am

Firstly, my profile is pretty specific and most of the questions are answered..now if peeps would read it they would not waste their time unless they met my criteria.

I have no desire to be in every mans friends network..I hate getting the invitiations, usually without any email exchange. The peeps in my network are peeps I talk to on a weekly basis.

As MissAnn said the winks are bullshit too, even gold members wink instead of sending emails. It's obvious that my profile doesn't get read..all those emails to into my filtered inbox..very,very few don't get deleted without more than a quick scan. If there is no pic, it's a 1 line booty call email, an out of state/country email etc it's deleted immediately.

My opinion is that if everyone would take the time to read the profiles then less time would be wasted dealing with peeps that are not going to respond.


reverend21 49M
1913 posts
2/7/2006 7:46 am

Ladies I appreciate your responses, and I will work on my profile a little more, but just reading what you have written I can see, two things, there are some extreme scumbags outthere, and I just got grouped in with them by some. Two, I needed to phrase my question better, because I was attempting to ask if you carry on conversations with anyone in your friends network. I will attempt to apply the input I have received positively. Hopefully I will receive better results in the future.


HBowt2 58F

2/8/2006 12:52 am

I've taken my profile down...got sick of the emails....now I chat in the ireland room and take it from there....much nicer way to do it....


rm_CiuteCat 40F
48 posts
2/8/2006 1:36 pm

Hi, everyone,

I'm new in here and what I read in this blog is not reassuring. I, too, got the mentioned kind of e-mails that freely seem to ignore my criteria. To me, it seems bewildering how a good deal of men stick out their dicks at large (and some women their pussies, too, which doesn't look sooo much nicer although to me it looks at least less threatening).

So, it's all about who turns e-mails and invitations off the quickest and the most efficient way?
Well, I thought to put up my profile for hopefully to get acquainted with some people, not for the sport of deleting ?

I am (naively?) writing from Europe, did I maybe misunderstand the game? Would you mind to let me have a hint?
I think, I'll wait with putting up a picture until get a clearer idea of what's going on here ..

CiuteCat


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