Best of intentions  

reverend21 49M
1017 posts
5/30/2006 9:13 pm

Last Read:
5/31/2006 9:38 pm

Best of intentions

The memory that haunts me still to this day, has to be the one thing I did to help some one.

A friend of mine, I worked for him one night.

His wife had just found out she was with child, she wanted to surprise him with the news.

I took his place at work that night, did not tell him why, me loosing a night off was nothing, the knowledge of him discovering that he would soon be a father was well worth it.

Thirty minutes after he left for home we received word that he had never made it home, he had been shot and killed.

This episode seems to have set a pattern with me, it seems that no matter how hard I try to help someone I eventually cause them pain, especially when I am attempting to help.

I left a comment on the blog of someone I would like to consider a friend.

I found out later that it caused her great pain.

Once again I find that even when I try to help, I end up doing more damage.

Tonight's dinner:

Grilled Honey ham and swiss on honey wheat bread
diet Mt dew

and a side order of crow


phoenix639 49F

5/31/2006 2:53 am

Oh wow, talk about wrong place wrong time. Thats so awful.

I do hope his wife has been able to cope & bring her child up though.

My heart goes out to you for doing the right thing & tragic results happening.


reverend21 replies on 5/31/2006 3:29 am:
Thank you

papyrina 51F
21133 posts
5/31/2006 5:50 am

19 years ago or not,it wasn't your fault,doing favours does not kill,fate does that for us,we cannot live life on ifs and butts.
even after saying that i still feel for you as we would all feel some form of guilt for this.


I'm a

and
i'm here to stay


reverend21 replies on 5/31/2006 6:04 am:
I know it was not my fault, but as you say, there is still guilt

kelly402005 52F

5/31/2006 5:47 pm

Shit happens man.
Life's a bitch........

You are a good friend, that's why you did what you did.

You are still a good friend, he knows, that's all that matters.

Find peace with it, "HE KNOWS"...... for real...

~~hugs


reverend21 replies on 5/31/2006 6:31 pm:
I'm at peace with it, it was going to happen sooner or later, or whole team had been targeted for assination. I am just weary of trying to help and it being misunderstood and I end up hurting someone, like when we butted heads, remember? I felt as if I had really hurt you, and there for a while yu were hurt, I don't like dong that, it makes everything come back

kelly402005 52F

5/31/2006 9:12 pm

    Quoting kelly402005:
    Shit happens man.
    Life's a bitch........

    You are a good friend, that's why you did what you did.

    You are still a good friend, he knows, that's all that matters.

    Find peace with it, "HE KNOWS"...... for real...

    ~~hugs
I'm at peace with it, it was going to happen sooner or later, or whole team had been targeted for assination. I am just weary of trying to help and it being misunderstood and I end up hurting someone, like when we butted heads, remember? I felt as if I had really hurt you, and there for a while yu were hurt, I don't like dong that, it makes everything come back

It's misunderstandable......... that a big fucking word, huh...

I know you mean the best........ you've been through some shit. Not like me, or her. Other shit..........
We've butted heads, but hopefully, we've come to some, "reason".
I'm not a dumbass, neither are you. She's not either.
You're a guy that know when you've hit someone the wrong way though..
You've got you're props from me in that dept.
........ But, all the same, maybe "I took you the wrong way".
~~I did, you meant well........ I took it wrong. You weren't being an ass!!!!! for real..........
I know you, dont' know what that means, but it's coming from my heart when I say that......... it's me..... aleneforreal. period. no joke.


reverend21 replies on 5/31/2006 9:42 pm:
typical woman start talking about my ass, just kidding, had to lighten the mood for a second, I know exactly what you mean, and I know it comes from the heart

gotta go dance now

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