The Cost of Popularity  

restorer52 53M
13 posts
8/1/2005 2:51 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

The Cost of Popularity

Ever notice how the memory of something long ago will trigger an emotional response that is very nearly as strong as the day it happened?

I'm thinking now of a day that does that for me from, believe it or not, the ninth grade. Yes, back in the mists of pre-history, I *was* a boy.

OK, what I'm on about now is- there was a test. It seemed like quite an ordinary thing to me when I took it. NO. It was an unmarked trap.

Pretty much everybody failed it but me. There were a couple of other students who passed, barely. How do I know this?

Because the teacher announced these facts, to the whole class, loudly. But it gets better.

Looking right at me, she says, "I don't see why you should be in here today with all these other lazy people, so I'm giving you a pass to go to the library for this hour and study on your own." And she proceeded to hand me the pass.

Carefully consider: what would *you* do?

Now, me, then, I had words like duty and honor ringing in my ears, partially from my parents, and frankly, partially from myself. Parents can really push your buttons- of course they can, they *installed them.*

So I took the pass, left, and caught up with some work in the library.

Would you rather be isolated and proud, and seriously lonely, or be "cool?"

I have never been cool. And what a hell of a heavy price I have paid. Part of me is still that foolishly proud boy who will not yield, and is still paying the price.

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