my little something extra  

regimental_kilt 39M
18 posts
10/16/2005 7:33 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

my little something extra

Something I've noticed infrequently but often enough to tickle my interest: "Must be circumcised". Me? I'm not kosher. My parents saw little to no need to have their child's genitals mutilated, and I can't say as I've ever really second guessed them. So when I see my (admittedly limited) potential to appeal to someone being dismissed out of hand, it makes me wonder why.

One thing I've heard is cleanliness. Yes, foreskins do catch things, much like bellybuttons. Or, gee golly gosh, female pudenda. So, on the one hand, a flap of flesh that can trap dirt, excretia, and lint. Which it does. Making flannel boxers a bit of a gamble. On the other hand, I have things like toilet paper1, soap, and hot water. I am capable of cleaning it out, not to mention many other complex tasks such as tying my shoelaces and breathing with my mouth shut. Now we come to some woman who says "It's filthy. period.". This coming from a member of the half of the species prone to that 'not so fresh' feeling. The half that buys monistat, douche, and deoderants specifically marketed for their crotches (btw-warn a guy before he goes down on you if you're using one. I like to maintain a sense of touch in my tongue) is telling me that a very small flap of skin renders me so unclean I am untouchable.

I will admit that all evidence shows that I am more likely to find myself with a urinary tract infection. I see your urinary tract infection and raise you an increased resistance to 'traditional' STDs. Mine's armor plated. Brings to mind images of spirochetes bouncing off with that nifty little 'kapwing' sound effect. I'm quite happy with an increased chance to escape a dose of the clap, the pox, the whatever-you-wanna-call-it. I hope never to need to exercise said chance, but it's nice to know it's there. Unfortunately, the non-traditional disease, HIV, seems to have an easier time getting to those of us with all our original equipment. Theories abound, but no confirmed mechanics yet.

And of course the big question: what's the sex like? As far as I can tell, pretty killer. You know those condoms with the built-in ridges? Guess what they're mimicing. During penetration <insert cutesy phrase here>, that extra flesh rolls up and turns into a nice ridge. Not to mention all the bits that it protects have never had to deal with the desensitizing effects of constant underwear contact. So I'm more sensitive, giving me not only more enjoyable, your-ego-boosting-cause-I'm-screaming-my-fool-head-off, wild, crazy, ficky-ficky; but I have an easier time feeling what I'm doing. Which makes me much more likely to notice when I'm doing the right thing. Which boosts my ego because you just lost all feeling in your extremities.

Overall, I give the joys of being uncut an 8 out of 10, with points off for painful handjobs. Ladies, treat Mr. Foreskin gently, and we'll be yours for as long as you need us.

1. Yes, I wipe when I pee. I also sit down to pee on a regular basis, because I know what my aim is like. Tip for happy cohabitation: find a guy who's cleaned bathrooms as a job. He'll be neater about his business than you are.

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