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*raises the brow, and wonders*
*raises the brow, and wonders*
You know having been here for about a little over a week now, Two guys, and a pair of couples, have actually managed to land on the good peeps to know and have been enjoying at least the online level of contact. Going to meet one of them Wendsday.. tried to meet a couple Saturday, but the unexpected can happen, and did. So that was out. Were still hoping to meet and greet face to face soon. Thats the good news.
On to the bad, mainly I dunno if should call it as being surprised or was that merely a case of hopeful naivety behind it. I mean logically thinking, I expected a bunch of the depraved flakes and flukes out there. Who "Pic search", thats being the best term that I can come up with in which to call the act. They randomly flit about, saying one thing, dragging on a conversation till you reach the "comfortable" stage, they ask for a few pics, you fire em off, and wham they drop, vanish gone, poofed. Not even so much as a curteous thanks but your not my type kinda thing. I consider that rather rude, and rather annoying. And then I have to stop and think about this, and then I have to ask, why arnt we your type after all. You made the contact, you read the profile. And lets face it, your just getting the same pics that are publicly posted on the profile page. Its not gunna change.
Now some of you may say, "oh but standards cant..." yea I know standards cant see profiles. So they get the low down at first contact. Though over all I dont recall spending much time making contact with someone who isnt serious enough to fork out the 20 bucks for a silver membership with reguards to the site. What I am talking about is the expirience we have had with some silver, and even Gold memberships. I mean come on folks. You spent at least 20 bucks for the membership, and are obviously more serious than others with reguards to your standings. At least have the decency to look at a profile, before you go wasting both your own time, and those of whom you contact.
Now granted its one thing, that when when you initiate contact with someone with no pics up, get to the stage of pic exchange, and then discover, they are not what you were looking for at least in the physical sense. Then you should at least have the common curtesy to inform them that they are not what you were looking for, especially when they are upfront and honest about their description of their physical selves. It is only common curtesy, and last I checked, it was all part of being a swinger.
Being a swinger means your open, up front, honest, no secrets, at least in the sexual nature, when in a setting where sex is the main topic of order. And being open and upfront does not mean you have to be crass, rude, crude, or otherwise show a level of intelectual existance someplace below that of plant life. You can be articulate in matters. I mean granted the launguage of sex can be seen as being crass, or even barbaric, in nature. I mean how else can you describe the art of cunnuligus or fellatio when you have no reference for such vocabulary, you resort to terms such as licking pussy, or sucking cock. Thats completly acceptable. Or at least in my world it is. But thats not how I would break the ice when it comes to speaking with another individual, or couple.
We swingers are a rare breed. At least those of us that have truely embraced the lifestyle in its truest sense. We understand, that in general your in a solid relationship, and we are out, in a sense, like any normal, sexually explorative, loving couple, looking for a sex toy to play with. Its just that instead of requiring batteries, or manual hand action, ours tend to be self propelled, intelligent, upright walking people. Who have their own emotions, likes, and dislikes, and families. So just face it, you may be friends with your other partners, even very close friends. But all in all, they are just that. A friend. They are not your love, your life. That is your partner in life. I'm not saying that its not possible for a few people, a small group, to grow to a level of intimacy that one could call love. And have a relationship that can, and does reflect similarities for a marriage. It is very, very, rare. Yes I do believe that polyamory does in fact exhist. But at this point I have not expirienced such a thing, and I doubt that many of you have as well.
So in the end, love your life partner, your spouse; be ye of heterosexual in nature, or be ye of homosexual nature it matters not; but enjoy your other partners, and be courteous to those who approach you, and in turn do not fit into what you seek for a partner, and friend.