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We've seen this before....(sex myths and clich
We've seen this before....(sex myths and clich
When a woman cums, she screams, "Oohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I'm cuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmiiinnnnnnngggggggggggggggggggg!!!!!!!!!"
When a woman sees a man's penis, she immediately places her mouth on it.
All men have dicks at least 9 inches long and 3 inches wide.
Women's panties become soaked with moisture at the slightest suggestion of sex.
When a man sees a pretty girl, his 9 inch penis immediately becomes rock-hard and she always notices it. When she sees it, she smiles.
If you haven't lost your virginity by the age of 13, your life is over.
All women love to swallow.
Blond goddesses with gigantic breasts and gorgeous bodies are all secretly in love with nerdy computer geeks, and their ambition is to move into the apartment next door to a computer geek.
Men and women always cum at the same time during sex.
Premature ejaculation? Never!
Babysitters are the luckiest people on the face of the earth.
School teachers and college professors are the second luckiest people on the face of the earth.
Women really have the best (or full) orgasms only from phallic intercourse.
"...he thrust his nine-inch rod into her steaming love tunnel." (Can't they write something a little more erotic and suggestive?)
When a husband finds that his wife has been cheating on him, he is more turned on than angry.
When a woman finds that her husband wants to watch her fuck other men, she thinks it a swell idea.
Or, in general - When one person wants some kind of non-standard sexual behavior, everybody else agrees.
Pool boys/gardeners/groundskeepers are the third luckiest people on the face of the earth.
High school (and Jr. High) girls want sex, but don't know where to get it. (Come on, guys. *You* lusted after all those girls in HS. Do you think that they didn't know that? Do you think that the present generation isn't doing the same? Do you think that you are more impressive to a frosh girl than the senior football hero?)
A girl's first date leads to her first kiss before ending with her first fuck.
Every woman, no matter what age, has perfectly trimmed or shaved pubic hair.
People who want sex don't have any obstacles. Parents go out of town for the weekend. When you want a matinee, your opposite number doesn't have a business lunch scheduled. The professor who is offered a sex slave for a passing grade doesn't fear entrapment. Your kid doesn't call for a glass of water. And the phone never rings!
Kids leave the doors to their rooms open while they masturbate. Parents leave their doors open while they have sex.
If a woman has intercourse during her fertile period, she will get pregnant.
All men can consistently deliver 8-10 thick blasts of semen.
All black guys are extremely well hung.
Any copulation between a white woman and a black male will result in pregnancy.
And when a white woman gets a taste of sex with a black man, she will then divorce her husband, quit her job and sell her soul so that she can go on getting creamed by her black lover.
Men who know women's bra sizes from outside their dresses.
All women wear garters instead of panty hose.
Every man dribbles pre-cum all day which doubles when a woman holds his cock.
No one ever smells bad, even after having sex on a cum-soaked mattress for umpteen hours.
All women produce amazing amounts of "juice" that either flows down their legs or drips from their pussy like a leaky faucet. And they never dry out, even after hours of non-stop sex.
All women love pain, causes them to orgasm.
Everbody has a smooth ass. Even men.
Newspaper carriers (both boys and girls) are the fourth luckiest people on the face of the earth.
Parents/spouses/roommates are always conveniently away for the weekend when you need a place to engage in sex (unless of course the sex involves the aforementioned parents/spouses/roommates).
Any woman can deep throat any man no matter how long he is. Even if that means down the esophagus.
"...but when I found out that my husband (or wife) had been seeing someone else, I wasn't angry...rather, I was excited!"
All women in a position of authority have secret desires to be submissive.
Forty-year-old divorced guys have no trouble scoring with large-breasted 18-year-old girls. Forty-year-old divorced women have large-breasted 18-year-old bodies.
All women with small breasts fantasise about having *REALLY HUGE* ones.
"...Ohh, Billy, fuck me hard, fill my love hole, make me cum..." (repeated endlessly)
Women cum about 20 times from straight missionary fucking.
Oral sex is the only way to wake your lover up.
And you still want to perform oral sex in the morning, even though your partner didn't wash his dick or douche after doing anal sex the night before.
Everyone has a perfect body you could break a brick on.
2/27/2006 5:08 pm
"Everyone says their stories are true, but my story really is true. This is not a story but an actual account of a encounter I had with a gorgeous model who happened to have a spread in Hustler magazine..." |
The wife has a secret stash of "toys" the husband has no clue about.
Anal sex requires very little preparation time. Even the first time.
Married men love fantasizing about their wives having sex with other men, and they will jump at the chance to let that fantasy come true.
A woman whose male lover has spurned her will invariably be a dyke by the end of the story.
Who needs condoms?
Young males get hard almost immediately after ejaculation (if they indeed lose erection at all) and are able to perform on multiple women (i.e., their own mothers and the mother's three female friends).
Any woman described as having a scientific occupation will invariably be occupied with making her breasts larger.
Every sexually transmitted disease and parasite has been eliminated. (Apparently with the same technology that allows women scientists to grow their breasts.)
When magically granted wishes, men will choose, in this order, the following: An 18" dick, the ability to attract women, and one of the following: obscene riches or the ability to grow breasts larger.
No one is ever nervous or frightened at the prospect of sex.
If a woman has small breasts, she will always have dark, pointy, otherwise amazing nipples.
She also makes up for her deficiency by having a tight ass and a ravenous sexual appetite.
But when a women does have large breasts, they will never flop or sag.
2/27/2006 5:10 pm
Vaginas must be lined with asbestos in order to handle all the molten cum poured into them. |
No one ever says "Can't we just cuddle?"
If a married man's wife has a sister, the sister will be a bombshell sexpot (more beautiful than his wife) who is just aching for a chance to leap in the sack with him.
Stretch marks don't exist.
Dozens of men worldwide have perfected mind-control devices which allow them to create huge harems.
Anyone caught in the act of masturbation won't stop, but will instead continue to completion.
Menstrual periods don't exist...except as a way for the woman to discover that she didn't get pregnant that time, after all. (Whew! That means she and her lover can keep on doing it.)
Coeds never wear bras and panties.
Getting ass on campus is easy...just like it was in high school.
2/27/2006 6:49 pm