Stages of mourning  

redmustang91 57M  
8702 posts
8/24/2006 11:05 pm
Stages of mourning

Most of us have lost a love, through death, divorce or break up. Being dumped may seem worse, but however a relationship ends, the loss is the same.

The stages of mourning applies to most such losses. Eventually most of us pull purselves together and seek a new love to replace the lost one. Caring a torch is not a good long term strategy.

According to Worden, one of the most famous experts on grief therapy in the world, there are four tasks in mourning:

_ accept reality of loss

_ experience and bear the pain or grief

_ adjust to a world in which the person is missing

_ withdraw and reinvest emotional energy.

The tasks of mourning begin with the acceptance of the reality of the loss. Being present at the death, seeing the body after death, and the rituals of a funeral all help to bring this home to the bereaved.

All intrapsychic change is stressful and most people at some stage try to avoid the pain of grief.

They may search for a substitute for the relation that is lost (for example, they may re-marry quickly, or adopt another child in place of the one they lost).

It is much wiser, though initially more lonely and painful, to wait until grieving is complete before attempting to form a new relationship.

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