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Profiles with lots of attitude
Profiles with lots of attitude
Some women express so much attitude that I wonder if they are trying to cut down on the number of emails or contacts. Take this detailed description of the ideal male from MissAnnThrope! I find it funny and challenging, but I would not contact her if she was nearby, as she seems a little angry and demanding (of course as an attached guy I do not qualify!):
I have a list of rules for the so-called ideal person: 1) Be single. I don't care if you're bored with your wife or girlfriend. How would you like it if they did that to you? And if you insist you're in an open relationship, I want to hear, straight from her mouth while having coffee with her in your kitchen, that she's cool with it. Besides, I'm the spend the night type. 2) Be my idea of good looking. I don't care who tells you that you look like some movie star, I think Tom Cruise looks like a rodent, Leonardo DiCaprio looks like he needs to come out of the closet, Brad Pitt is just wimpy looking, none are my type of gorgeous. The eyes are the windows to the soul. If I don't like what I see in a person's eyes, I find them quite unattractive. 3) Be at least as smart as I am. If you can't engage me mentally, you're sure as hell not going to be able to do it sexually. And if you write to me, don't just send me your profile. You have to be able to attract me mentally for me to write back. 4) Be honest about yourself. I can't tell you how many guys on here send pics from 10 years ago, 50 pounds ago and a full head of hair ago. Guys, (and this goes for many of the ladies on AdultFriendFinder too) 50 pounds overweight, but going to the gym is not an athletic build. Nor is it average. Depending on how you carry it, it may be a little extra padding. And 100 pounds overweight is large. Sorry guys, but when you're that large, you're beyond the "love handle" stage. I know many men look in the mirror and see what they used to be. If you're doing that, it's time to see what you really are. And I can't believe how many of you lie about your age. If you claim to be late 40s, early 50s but look 70, either you're not living right or you're lying to make yourself seem more attractive. Sorry, but I don't look close to my age, and I have no interest in men who are or even look old enough to be my father. 5) I can't stress this one enough....... NO MULLETMEN! Either cut it all off or grow it long all over. They look so white trash and they're ugly. 6) No wife-beaters. The shirts, or violent behavior. Let's face it guys, the only reason you wear one of those things in public is to show off your muscles. And if your best quality is showing people you can beat them up, I'm not interested. 7) Be mentally stable and have a sense of humor about yourself. I've been on AdultFriendFinder long enough to know how many of you are just plain nuts, quick to anger, etc. If some off the cuff remark I make in chat can illicit a strong negative and nasty response from you, then you are way too quick to anger for me. If you're not somewhat laid back, look elsewhere. I am NOT a sub. Look at the capitalization of my handle and you should figure that out. Do not order me to write back to you. You won't get a response. Do not tell me how I'm a bad girl who needs to be whipped. If I see you as someone with whom I'm interested in exloring BD/SM, I'm the one who holds the flogger. 9) If you're looking for a cumbucket, a vessel to be filled, a sperm-burping-gutter-slut, someone to use and toss in the gutter, look elsewhere. I'm looking for long term, I don't do one-nighters. You can't even get to know a person's body in one night. I'm not necessarily looking for exclusive (although that would be nice), but I'm also not looking to break in someone new every month. Nor am I looking for someone who's only around once a month. Take it from a woman, a monthly visitor is annoying, and we all get one of those already. So if you're looking for a quickie, look elsewhere. And keep in mind I'm a cuddler, so you should be too. No players either. Keep in mind, it may be a game to you, but real feelings are involved. 10) Let's discuss the term "friends with benefits." OK guys, let me tell you what that means to a woman: It means you're friends, and the sex is purely secondary. It does not mean you cease to be friends once you're sick of fucking a person, which is what it seems to means to some of the men of AdultFriendFinder. That, dear readers, is a fuck buddy, or a chick you're playing. So don't give me that friends with benefits lie/line if you're not talking from a woman's perspective of the term. All you'll do is hurt that person in the long run. 11) Be a gentleman and have respect for women and realize we are human beings too. 12) Don't even think about asking me for cyber or phone sex. Hate to tell you this guys, but men have been masturbating for thousands of years without the aid of a keyboard. Save yourself the carpal tunnel and save me from having to see such things as "oj bavvy, fucl mw" on the screen by just going out and buying a copy of Penthouse Forum. And as far as phone sex goes, do you really think I'm going to call a total stranger or give you my phone number? Don't be so damned cheap. There are 900 numbers for that. 13) You want me? You come to me. I see no reason why I should have to go out of my way for some guy who reads through this and still doesn't believe I'm not just out for sex. If you feel I'm not worth the effort to get to, then you're not worth my effort to even talk to. 14) This one is probably the most important. Keep in mind if I do meet you that I am under no obligation to fall into bed with you just because I met you here. Nor are you under that obligation. Just because we click in text doesn't mean we will in real life. Now, did you manage to get through all of that, without wanting to write to call me a bitch, or tell me how angry I am? No? Then I have no interest in hearing from you. But if you answered yes, then do drop me a line.
Only fourteen rules? Why so few? Given the horn dogs some guys can be I do not blame Miss Ann for getting pissed, but why make the new crop pay for the mistakes of the past?
9/7/2005 12:37 pm
This is indeed to cut down on unwanted email. It's also to weed out those who take themselves way too seriously. The guys who think this is a free call girl site. Not to mention those with no sense of humor. Or those with short attention spans. Oh yeah, and those who hate reading. If I came off as angry to you, you're not my target audience in the first place. None of this was written in anger. It was written in a very matter-of-fact manner. I'm looking for a friend and lover, a partner in crime; not to just be a hole for some guy when he's horny. Let's go point by point, so you can understand it better:|
1. No married or attached men. Hey, I'm not a cheat enabler. I've been cheated on, it's not a happy feeling. I noticed the number of emails I got where men assured me they had their wives permission dropped off to zero when I added this to my profile. I do have to change this though, as in lieu of coffee with the wife, I will now take a notarized letter.
2. Be my idea of good looking. This is something EVERYONE on this site wants, however, for most men, we're supposed to look like a supermodel or a porn star. I was getting way too many scary pics before I added this. Oh, who am I kidding. I still get men sending me pics that give me nightmares.
3. Be at least as intelligent as I. I don't find this an unreasonable request. Men who are none too bright also tend to be nasty as hell and think anyone with a brain is putting on airs and what makes them think they're so much better than me, etc. I like to have conversations with the men I date. Nothing will put that introductory date or even phone call to an end faster than some guy who only wants to talk about what I'm going to do to him in bed. Um... No. What turns me on is someone who can hold their own as we discuss religion, politics, current events, literature. But I'm weird, I admit it.
4. Being honest about ones self. This is a no brainer. Once you're on this site long enough, you hear the stories, you see things for yourself. Sorry, but I get email from men claiming to be my age who look older than my father did when he died at 72. Either these men are lying, or they just aren't living right. I know men lie about their age, send pics from 20 years ago, etc. I can honestly introduce you to people I know from this site who have athletic on their profiles and are perfectly round. I openly admit to my tonnage. I am a woman who needs to lose 10 or 50 pounds. I'm not going to lie to get a date, so I expect the same honesty from others. This isn't to say I'm looking for someone with a boy beautiful. Scrawny men or men who are all muscle are no fun to cuddle with.
5. No mulletmen. I think 99% of the women on the site will agree with me on that one. Nothing says I'm going to get drunk and crash my IROC one day than a mullet.
6. No wifebeaters. red, California culture and Northern NJ culture are very far removed. Men here wear wife beaters and muscle t-shirts to show they can beat up other people. They're raging jealous bundles of too much testesterone and probably shrunken testicles from steroid abuse. They tend to treat their women badly too. Besides, the things are ugly.
7. Be mentally stable. Yeah, there are nutjobs of both genders on here. Once again, this goes back to the musclemen lower end of the gene pool types, who go off on me all the time. Like our friend hotcock, whose email is on my blog. The man has anger issues. Anyone who has met me, which would be most of the regulars from the NYC room can tell you. I'm one of the most laid back people they've met. I deliver cutting wit with a glint in my eyes and a voice so calm, it could put you to sleep as I cut you to size. I laugh at myself all the time and I can't deal with people who take themselves way too seriously. OK, this one should really say, no self important fucktards. I admit it.
8. I'm not a submissive. Well, I'm not. But when I had fetishes as looking for on my profile, I got some freakish, scary mail from men who wanted to tie me to a tree and cut me. Ones who wanted to beat me to a bloody pulp as I called them, "Daddy." Fuck NO! I realize there are women into that, but I'm not one. Amateur wannabe Doms especially, who read some story, or saw a movie and thought it was hot are the biggest offenders. I abhor any Dom/me who has no respect for submissives. Not to mention the number of bible perverts who feel it's ok to abuse women because the Old Testament says so.
9. I'm not a cumbucket. Well, I'm not. I'm not looking for man after man after man. That's a great way to catch something, no matter how careful you are with condoms. Granted, I will admit, in a dry spell, a one nighter can be very satisfying. However, it's not my main objective. I can be very high maintenance. That entire hearing from someone once a month because he's horny, (but ignores your calls when you want to see him) gets old fast. Been there, done that, never doing it again.
10. Friends with benefits. OK, I will admit, I added this as a dig at someone I was dating from the site a few years ago, who had forgotten about the friends part and was concentrating on the benefits. I'm not a talk about our feelings type, so when he asked me what was wrong, I just told him to check #10 on my profile. The situation was remedied fast. This is the only one added out of anger.
11. Be a gentleman and have respect for women. Hey, you got a problem with that? Seems like a given to me.
12. Cyber and phone sex. I was serious when I said men have been masturbating for millions of years without the aid of a computer and you all can too. This tends to be a make or break thing with the men on this site. I've had more than a few men who were dying to meet me suddenly disappear because I won't cyber, I don't have a webcam to show them my tits, (if someone wants to see my tits, they're going to have to be someone I want to get naked with. Those are the only men who see them.) or that I won't jerk off on the phone with them. Yeah, I can see how serious they were about wanting to meet me. The ones that do get to see me naked are the ones who never ask me for cyber or phone sex.
13. If someone wants to meet me, they can come to me. This ties in with being a gentleman, no? I will admit, now that I'm nice and close to Manhattan, I will meet someone who lives there in the city. However, as I don't have a car, this rule still applies for anyone outside the city. And for the record, there have been a number of people I've been willing to meet halfway, just to have coffee and meet in person, instead of online.
14. I'm under no obligation to have sex with someone I go on a date with just because I met him on this site. Well, I'm not. Nor are you obliged to have sex with every woman you meet. Nothing in life is guaranteed. One of the very best platonic friends I ever met on this site, well, he and I started IMing, then we started calling and staying on the phone for up to 16 hours at a time. Everything clicked on the phone and in text. Then we met. We looked at each other and you could all but hear us mentally look at each other and say, "ewwwww!" We were honest with each other and we were friends for years after, until he moved back to Ohio. Had we not been honest with each other, we would have had really bad sex, never to see each other again. This is a good rule for anyone who's meeting from this site.
Now, do I break my own rules? Of course. Rules 1, 5, 6, 7, 8, 11 and 14 are set in stone. The others, well, let's face it. There are some very ugly men who ooze sex appeal. Look at Willem Dafoe. We've all had that dumb as dirt sex partner. I can overlook the fact someone fudged on their profile if we click well enough. One night stands, well, I believe I covered that as I explained the rule. Friends with benefits vs. fuck buddy, just be honest on that. Friends with benefits is the hardest trick in the book to pull off, as you remain friends after the sex stops. Fuck buddies, all you have in common is sex. Both are no harm, no foul when the sex stops. Cyber and phone sex, though, men are only going to get if they're in some sort of relationship with me already. After a disasterous relationship last year when I was flying off to the UK to see him at the drop of a hat, I'm thinking of setting the you come to me rule in stone, but when you're dating guys from the city, they tend to think that all civilization ends at the Hudson River.
Now, when I get around to updating the profile, there will be a few more rules. Such as: No Right Wing Republicans! That will be set in stone. I can handle moderates, as they're sitting on the fence as it is and have the chance to be converted to liberals. But the right wing, I can't deal with men who think a woman's place is in the home, barefoot and pregnant, unless their names are Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin or Monica Crowley. Or that independent women who have no desire to marry and spit out babies are defective. Or that a zygote is a human being. Or that poor people are poor because they want to be.
Own more than one book and read magazines other than TV Guide and Popular Mechanics. What can I say? I would kill to be able to buy a house or upgrade on an apartment so I can have a room that is an actual library. I read magazines on a variety of subjects, I go out of my way every week to get a copy of "New Scientist." I just don't trust people who don't read.
A Happy Meal and a rented porn DVD does not a first date make. Well, it doesn't. You have to have me hooked before this tactic won't be frowned upon.
I'm sure there are more rules I want to add. However, until they get the paragraph formatting fixed in the profiles and until I think up at least enough rules to make it an even 20, the profile will remain as it is. A novel in progress.
9/7/2005 4:18 pm
Actually I agree with most of your rules! But my point is so much detail is a little intimidating and that may work against you by sending away some decent guys. I think a hint of mystery might be useful. Reminds me of the famous book report by a third grader: This book told me much more than I wanted to know about penguins!|
9/8/2005 12:08 am
I came back to this blog this evening just to be on the defense of Miss Ann, but I can certainly see that she has taken care of any and all questions/concerns that your blog may have evoked...lol! I think it's sad that anyone would have to state the obvious things that Miss Ann has stated on her profile, but sometimes it's just a must when nothing else will work to get a point across! |
I tend to want to write (what men on here call) novels about my wants/needs, so I have narrowed it down to the "Reader's Digest" version. It seems to be working for now! Highlighting in bright pink also seems to have cut down on the weird e-mails!
I'm glad that you weren't downgrading Miss Ann, only giving a suggestion because every single of her points are valid ones that I'd love to put some of them in my profile as well!
If they are scared off by the length, oh well, there are many other fish in the sea who appreciate all the knowlege and insight Miss Ann provides!
Have a great rest of the day!!!