Forgiving one's parents  

redmustang91 57M  
8809 posts
6/30/2005 11:40 am

Last Read:
10/18/2007 9:13 am

Forgiving one's parents

I realized that my parents were crazy, difficult, fallible people who made many mistakes and were far from the ideal ones I thought they were when I was very young. Then I discovered the other parents in the world were similarly fallible and in many ways worse than mine were. When I had a kid I discovered I made different mistakes than my parents did, but my shortcomings were perceived as just as bad by our son!

My parents actually did a good job, and I am trying to do a better job of parenting! But the truth is we all make mistakes and we are all crazy in diferent ways. My son is starting to realize that his parents could have been much worse! Nothing like seeing some terrible examples.

Forgiveness of our and others' inadequacies is the answer. Acceptance of our limitations and trying to improve what can be made better while bearing the stuff that cannot be remedied. Sounds like the Serenity Prayer!

My definition of maturity is when you stop blaming your parents for your own behavior or shortcomings.


6/30/2005 1:51 pm

I checked out your blog for no better simply because I once had a red mustang. I am new to this site and this whole meeting through the web thing. Any ways, I agree with your sentiments. Most people don't get the forgiveness thing and suffer for it all their lives. In forgiving loved ones who have sometimes harmed, frustrated or who failed to understand us we are ultimatley forgiving ourselves as well. Our parents for better or worse is a part of who we are, our anger at them is also an anger at ourselves. The healing can only begin when we are willing to forgive them and the part of us that needs them. To a child a parent seems God like. In boot camp and later in combat my comrades and I came to see our sargent in a similar way. When your life is hanging by a thread held by another eveything about them becomes magnified and bigger than life. This is natural but once we are safe and independant we may be shocked at how insignificant they appear by comparison. Our parents never claimed to be Gods but that doesn't stop us from being disapointed our from rubbing that fact in their faces. Unfornutely real maturity usually arrives when we are faced with a perpelxed and disapointed look in the eyes of our own child. And so the wheel turns.

redmustang91 57M  
8657 posts
6/30/2005 5:27 pm

Forgiveness of others also lets go the anger and disapointment we harbor over their perceived shortcomings. I have disappointed others too and so we must all ask for mercy rather than justice! We fallible humans. By accepting others failures and our own, we can let go of the pain. And still try to improve in the future!

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