Why do men treat us like they do?  

rdy4anythng17 29F
5 posts
9/13/2005 11:02 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Why do men treat us like they do?

ok so ive had some experience with men, but not alot of long term relationships.. but my two best friends on the other hand, have the worst luck ever with men. ok my best friend jessica and katie's boyfriends are exactly alike, both have emotionally destroyed them to the point that nothing they say or do could make those girls leave them.. i just wanna know why men always have to have power over us?

tamethytension 54M
2320 posts
9/13/2005 11:52 pm

good question...short answer: such men are weak.

There is a difference between dominant and domineering men. While many women desire the former (seeking the confidance and surity of purpose that embodies), in so seeking they all too often find the latter and in youth and inexperience confuse the two. As to why the men, and here you describe domineering controllers, do this ... the short yet pointed answer is because they can. Meaning, while they may be motivated by a need to answer their own social insecurities around women or other men, they do so because the respective women allow it. That you perceive this and they do not suggests that know the difference and have learned enough to avoid this pitfall. As to your friends, they may come around, but the harsh truth, as I have sadly witnessed many times, is this control devolves into a cycle of abuse .. if indeed you have read the situation correctly in stating "nothing they say or do could make those girls leave them".

perhaps not the answer you sought ... but it is the briefiest I can be in relating a harsh reality as I have come to see it first hand.


rm_catonine2005 44M

9/14/2005 12:11 am

maybe its just the ones you are attracted to..all guys do not treat women badly..maybe you should look for a man someplace else...maybe over here...lol

UofAcollegeman 30M
1 post
9/14/2005 12:23 am

A relationship is fifty fifty. As much as it is the guys fault for being an asshole, it's the girls fault for falling for one, or staying with one.
I've always thought it was morbidly amusing that women fall so easily for guys that are, well, not the nicest people. I try to be a nice guy, it gets me nowhere, if I get annoyed at a girl and act mean or spiteful towards her, I'll end up with her programming her number into my phone. It really makes no sense at all.
As to why guys treat girls like they do. I think it stems from the desire to push a girl until she leaves, so he has to do something to get her back. I personally think a relationship is all about the tension. If a girl applies no tension, the guy has to be much more of an ass to get the same amount of tension.
My advice to any girl who has a guy who treats her like shit is as follows. Leave him, he'll come back, a little nicer. Give him shit back, you'll have some fun with that, and he'll end up a little nicer, because you're applying more tension. Or continue what you're doing, and wish they'd stop. I don't necessarily suggest number three, but its a place to start before you branch out into one and two.
I suppose that's all I have to say. Your blog intrigued me. I had this conversation with a girl earlier today, its nice to know these things are so universal.

AIM: MrFantastic42686

open4fun2005 58M/50F

9/14/2005 5:05 am

Its just like TTT said...because men can! These 2 men that you are speaking of most likely didnt have positive role models and havent a clue how to treat women with respect. They are repeating the same behavior they witnessed themselves. Your girlfriends probably dont feel good about themselves. Have very negative self images. Unconsciencely thinking that they dont deserve to be happy with men who can actually treat them with love, devotion and respect. Until they actually accept the fact that they worthy women who deserve healthy relationships...have better self images and think positive of themselves...they will continue to attract men who treat them like chit!
My advise for you my dear....is to put yourself in higher standard. Know that you are a wonderful human being....love yourself...and you will attract the men that will treat you with deserving respect. Dont compromise yourself....Not for anyone!! Demand that you be treated with dignity and mutual respect and accept no less! Good luck hon!!

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