Boys are so unpredicatable...  

rahrah1985 31F
23 posts
4/4/2005 10:17 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Boys are so unpredicatable...

Okay guys, this one is for you!
Explain to me when you love and care about someone why you don't just make a commitment.... I don't understand, I have been seeing this guy for sometime now, like 3 years, we were never exclusive, our deal was tell eachother when we are seeing another person and just be honest with everything that goes on, he hasn't been seeing anyone in the last year and a half, which I have, but he knows, so no big deal, he tells me he loves me and wants to be with me and cares about me, he lives like 2 hours away, which I'm moving down there anyway, come this summer, so I don't understand, why no relationship? I mean I'm fine with how things are going, but I don't want to be responsible for keeping him on this leash, if he doesn't want to be, yet he says that he still wants to be with me, I'm confused? DO you think he's scared, or what? Let me know

keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
4/5/2005 6:11 am

Well, you yourself said you had a deal where it was okay to be with others and still be together. It sounds to me like he is doing just that, not being exclusive or bound to a relationship with you. Communicate to him if you want to shift this arrangement to something more serious. When you have discussed this with him then you know where things stand and where they are headed.

Mostly it is youth that is the main factor here. When you become wiser with the advantage of experience you will no longer need to ask such questions! Too bad it takes time to gain wisdom!
Lol. Good Luck!

bella_ 47F
4030 posts
4/5/2005 12:23 pm

In my life I usually have the commitment problem...I believe it is fear.

rahrah1985 31F
4 posts
4/6/2005 9:04 pm

In response to Keithcancook, you obviously didn't read carefully! He's told me flat out that he isn't dating anyone else, he doesn't want to. We are both ocmpletely honest and straightforward with what we do with other people, so he knows what I'm doing and I know what he's doing, or put into better words what he's NOT doing. And as for asking questions, that's how you gain knowledge.... it's better to get someone's opinion and not be stuck in your own way, which is what you seem to be.

time2live27 38M
2 posts
10/27/2005 5:53 am

There are many factors that play a roll when it comes to relationships or commitment, so that makes this a hard question to answer. Does your boyfriend show any jealousy when your out with other people? I know you said your both are under the same understanding for seeing other people. But if there is some jealousy, I would have to guess that he's not confident enough in him or other words put has "low self-esteem". Sometimes the signs can be very settle to read, but if you can pick up on them it can make your life a lot easier. The only reason I write is because I have been in your situation before, only with a girl. Remember I'm not saying this is the cause for sure, but just trying to offer some friendly advice.

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