Hot women here not getting laid - WTF?  

qship52 63M
187 posts
4/18/2006 7:23 am

Last Read:
4/26/2006 1:15 pm

Hot women here not getting laid - WTF?

I'm constantly seeing blog references from women indicating they've not had sex for months, or longer.

I look at the profiles, and see the pictures, and the first think is 'What the fuck? This woman is HOT!' They may think they have some imperfections here and there, but no guy I know would turn them down on looks. In fact they often allude to having 100+ emails a day from men wanting to have sex with them.

Which begs the question - why aren't these women choosing to have sex? Their opportunites are right there.

They also mention having (how to say this) ridiculously inappropriate email come-ons. Men that clearly have not read their profiles and are not close to being a match. Men that couldn't spell AdultFriendFinder, much less sting together two or three coherent sentences with appropriate punctuation. Men that have such painfully crude approaches that you wonder if they attended the Neandertal School of Pickup Lines. Men whose main drawback is the fact that they just happen to live more than 1000 miles away from their intended lover.

But they MUST be getting lots of reasonable emails as well. From ordinary guys within the intended age ranges, close enough to see within 30 minutes, who actually have a job (oh boy - some women set pretty low standards too, another story), are reasonable looking, and actually graduated high school knowing how to write a letter. If they can't spell well, they at least figured out the little abc-check mark button at the bottom of the posting window.

And yet, for some reason none of these men will do.

I am coming to think that there are a couple of reasons for the 100% rejection rate:

1. Women are so very, very picky only Prince Charming will do, and HE better happen to make his approach on a day where his intended lover doesn't happen to feel like just deleting all the new emails unread.

This man better be sexy, witty, urbane, have a great face pic, charming smile, be athletic, able to sustain an 8" (or more) erection for hours, have a sex drive that matches, be looking for a LTR, be monogamous, DD free, drive a nice car (or Harley, for unknown reasons), write an email that could win a Pulitzer prize, have great abs, have a great butt, etc, etc. This man models for fashion magazines, (and unfortunately, he's probably gay anyway).

2. Women scare off the men they are looking for. Yes, their profile itself drives away the men they really would like.

I've noted some VERY specific characteristics on women's profiles. As in #1 above, the appropriate match for some women rules out so many people that you might as well be looking for a long-lost fraternal twin's matching DNA. In short, too specific.

Another type of profile simply turns men off. It is so loaded with WARNINGS!!! and DON'TS!!! and ABRASIVE CAPITAL LETTERED THREATS!!!, interspersed with some nicely specific desired characteristics (oh, and I'm really sweet when you get to know me) that you just think 'High Maintenance!' and move on.

Then there are the women that are SO good looing (whether they think so or not), with such a perfect profile, that a lot of guys simply think they are 'out of my league' and unapproachable.

Now these are just impressions from a guy, hence suspect right off the bat. I really have no clue how a woman thinks. (I love a line I heard in the movie "Hope and Glory" - 'Never try to understand the mind of a woman. It's the road to ruin!) But I have to think there is a germ of truth here.

So women - take a chance that the guy who is average-looking but a nice guy is worth a response. That the guy who really can't spell simply didn't notice the spell check button. (And remember that women always did better in English and Social Studies in school - but whose the one who will get under the sink and fix that leaking drain?) Your Prince Charming might just be out there lurking in the guise of Walter Mitty.

OK - now go back to separating 0.01% wheat from the chaff.

absolutelynormal 56F
6563 posts
4/18/2006 3:13 pm

Ya know, I pulled up your profile, you came here for sex, stayed for the blogs and met someone you really like. Why not let women do that too? Is it such a crime that some of us haven't found who we want? That we've been through enough men to know what we DON'T want (sorry, the use of capital letters, oohhh), but maybe not exactly who we do want. Please note, that I said who, not what. I don't believe that anyone here thinks there is one person made just for them, but I'll take as close to that as I can get and nothing less. If all I wanted was sex I could get it easily, I want something more than that. To be perfectly honest, my standards aren't even that high. I am not looking for a guy with a huge cock, huge wallet or a huge ego. I want a smart guy who can make me laugh, yes he has to have a job. While I don't want Quasimodo, he doesn't have to be drop dead gorgeous. The "yelling" in my blog is so the married guys will let me alone. Right now I have plenty of friends to keep me company and I am content to a certain extent with Mr. Buzzy. I do miss having a cuddle buddy. I'm not even looking right now, but I'm still on here. I could pull my profile but I won't because I still have a glimmer of hope. Do I really think I'll find someone here, nah. I'm here to blog and learn more about me. Mac
ps I hope that unconfuses you just a tiny bit

UHoh, wait, somehow I missed this line until I was about to hit the post button.
'Never try to understand the mind of a woman. It's the road to ruin!) But I have to think there is a germ of truth here.
You're digging yourself a hole you can't escape from, I hope you know that. You're doing just what the quote says not to. Don't try to guess what we're thinking, if you want to know, ask. You'd do the same for a man if you wanted to know what was on his mind. I'm hoping that your post is "asking" what we think, not trying to think for us. You have no idea how annying that can be.

qship52 replies on 4/18/2006 4:23 pm:
You make very good points. Yup - dug myself in there pretty good, didn't I?

I'm trying to think how I can respond further without being misunderstood, hitting a raw nerve, or just digging the hole deeper. Probably I'm just not a good enough writer to express myself that well. Certainly my attempts at humor didn't work well in this post!

So I'll just try to hit a few points where I am in agreement with you.

1. You have every right to be here looking for whatever you want and be as choosy as you want.
2. I hope you do find what you are looking for. A glimmer of hope is a good thing.
3. I really did not want to be annoying. And I'm considering deleting this post, but I think I'll leave it up as a lesson to me of what not to do again.

qship52 replies on 4/18/2006 5:24 pm:
Oh - forgot to say something important. I apologize.

absolutelynormal 56F
6563 posts
4/18/2006 10:10 pm


sassybelle21 32F
13313 posts
4/19/2006 8:30 am

Let me think for a minute

Well I am not looking on here for now. But when I was looking (which didn't really happen since the guys came looking for me), I had a clearly written profile of who and what I want. Prior to editing my profile a week or two ago, I had a really harsh sounding profile. That's simply because it contains all the painful truths that I rather have the guys find out before trying to email me and meeting me in real life. Besides, I was sick of all those stupid lame emails and just wanted to use the long ass profile as a shield to get rid of a lot of guys who aren't my type and can't comprehend a profile of a person whom they are interested in. If a guy can't read my long ass profile while he's interested in me, I guess he's not worth my time at all. I am picky in everything and I don't like to settle for less. As picky as I am, a guy's looks aren't my major concern or the reason why I reject him.

Here are some reasons why I rejected the guys whom you deemed ordinary...

1. There is no attraction
2. The conversations don't go anywhere but back to square one
3. The guy and I aren't on the same wavelength at all

For your information, no ladies are asking the guys to understand our psyche. I am a lady and I don't even understand other ladies' pysche. We could be of the same gender but we are all different. It's even hard trying to look for similarities between ladies. Plus, most ladies don't like being compared to another. Just treat us as individuals and ask if you are seeking for answers and be ready to hear the truths with your male ego set aside.

qship52 replies on 4/19/2006 11:46 am:
Thanks for the response.

I guess what I mostly wonder about is the actual rejection rate - it sounds incredibly high. Have you found anyone interesting enough to meet at all? If not, it sounds like AdultFriendFinder just spins your wheels to no good purpose, at least from a dating standpoint.

I don't understand either about guys that don't read profiles and send emails when they clearly don't meet criteria.

It seemed that a 'harsh sounding profile' might be somewhat counterproductive, in that it *might* scare off decent guys, while the jerks ignored it to start with.

sassybelle21 32F
13313 posts
4/19/2006 11:37 pm

For one, I don't treat AdultFriendFinder as a regular dating website nor do I intend to find somebody from here to date. Call me simple minded but most guys are definitely trying to get into my pants and don't want anything more than just sex. Some are even frightened with the ideas of being friends with somebody they are having casual sex with.

Rejection and unsuccessful hook up rates are both high on AdultFriendFinder. As much as the ladies have rejected the guys, I am sure that there are a lot of picky guys who have rejected a large amount of what they called the "fat and unattractive ladies".

For your information, AdultFriendFinder worked for me. I have met my fair share of people and had sex with some of the guys. Believe it or not, I met my German lover through AdultFriendFinder towards the end of my membership's first month. Despite the fact that I met him on a sex site like this, he's still a great person and he's all that I ever wanted. However, we decided not to get serious because we don't want to deal with the distance. Things are great the way they are. He might be visiting next weekend if the meeting with one of the government ministers is confirmed.

Well you might think "harsh sound profile" is somewhat counterproductive but not to me. There are different kinds of decent guys. I know my type of decent guys will read my profile. Those that aren't my type will definitely hit the little X or Back button. I'm saying this based on my own experience. Lastly, nobody needs to know my type of decent guys as that's what I want and not what others want. It's good enough if I'm very sure about what I am seeking and be satisfied when I find it.

qship52 replies on 4/20/2006 8:13 am:
I too seemed to have found someone here that I really like. I did treat it as a dating site, having tried it on a whim. So it's worked for me.

I stand corrected on my view of 'harsh profiles' being perhaps counterproductive. Thanks for your thoughts.

mangomamiCT 42F

4/25/2006 9:20 pm

absoloutely normal said it all !!!

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