Divorce sucks!  

qship52 63M
187 posts
5/11/2006 2:51 pm

Last Read:
5/13/2006 12:24 am

Divorce sucks!

Yeah, I know it sucks for emotional reasons, loss of family, stress and all that stuff. But it really sucks financially, and I'm just finding out how badly it's going to hurt me, the one who paid all the bills for all those years.

I expected to lose half my 401K, IRA, and any retirement accounts. But I was surprised to find that I will also likely lose half my social security payments when they come due. And half my pension. Oh, and I get to pay alimony forever, though the amount can be adjusted with income changes.

I know it's only money, and I'll get over it, but it sure seems unfair somehow.

Rant over. Good mood commencing again!

rm_Jaydouble06 39M

5/11/2006 3:14 pm

I feel your pain brothah..... One would think with the womens liberation movement in the 60's, that divorce settlements would be fair and just these days.

I just got out of a 5 year relationship, and even though we never married, I unfortunately cosigned on all of my ex girlfriends student loans. I'm losing half of my lifetime savings because my ex will not take responsibility for the loans.....

Atleast you have a good head on your shoulders about the whole thing.....Good Luck.

honeycomb1974 44M/42F
282 posts
5/11/2006 3:28 pm

I know right now it may not seem fair, and I don't know all of the story, but I have been married for 14 years and I have never work. We decided for me to stay home and take care of the house and kids. Now mind you we are still together, so this is just to say would it be fair for him to walk out and leave me with no way to pay the bills, and what about all the time I have spent with him saving and scrimping too. So in a way his pension is my pension and his social security is mine well at least half. Now if she walks out on you then to hell with her she should have thought about it before she did it. I'm just saying be fair, and think if it was your daughter what do you think she would be entitled to. Honey

qship52 replies on 5/13/2006 12:25 am:
She is the one that ended the marriage.

I don't really mind that she gets half - but it seems like there should be an end to it.

sexyariesgirl 57F

5/11/2006 3:36 pm

I am two years out of a 27 year marriage. Here is one female perspective...admittedly our divorce was not the usual tooth and nail fight. Our divorce was very amicable. The only things I asked for were family heirlooms that had belonged to my family, my personal belongings, the "old" television, no appliances...NONE, the "broken" recliner, and that he pay half the car payment and pay the insurance on it until it was paid for...the car was then to be titled to me. The reason for half the car payment is that we were upside down on payments and had been for the last three vehicles we owned..so we were paying a much higher payment than we would have otherwise. I was entitled to half his retirement and 401K which I also received. No alimony in our state, and our son was grown, so no child support either. Yes, he lost half his retirement and 401K...but other than that he came out really well. He kept the house and practically everyting in it, one vehicle, our joint bank account in its entirety, and even ended up with the car that was to have been mine (my choice).
My mother had recently passed away and we were having to dispose of her household furnishings, so most of the things I ended up with had been hers.

I have paid my own way over the past two plus years, sometimes working 4 jobs at once. It was my decision to file for divorce so therefore I felt it was also my responsibility to provide for myself.

I realize this isn't a typical situation...but it's my situation. Just wanted to let you know it isn't always unfair and unjust. But regardless of how things are split up, divorce is HARD and yes it SUCKS for a lot of reasons...so I feel your pain in some ways too!

Best wishes to you qship.

Power To FOK

qship52 replies on 5/13/2006 12:37 am:
Somehow it just seems that I've lost everything I've ever worked for, including a financially secure retirement, while she's given up nothing she cared about. She lives in the big house, drives the new car, has all the bills paid, and slowly works toward starting her own business.

I think she expects me to continue to pay the mortgage for the next 4 years, in addition to alimony and child support, so that the kids don't have to move before graduating high school. That's not going to happen.

It seems kind of funny in a way. Her main complaint about me was that I took her for granted, while she just takes 80% of my income.

It can't continue. I need my own life, and it's time for her to stand on her own two feet.

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