|Blogs > pwetty_cute > laughs|
"Jesus loves you but everyone else thinks you’re an ASS."
"Impotence… Nature’s way of saying ‘No hard feelings’."
"The Proctocologist called… they found your head."
"Everyone has a photographic memory.. some just don’t have film."
"I used to have a handle in life but it broke off."
"Some people don’t know how to drive.. I call these people “Everyone but ME”."
"Heart Attacks… God’s revenge for eating his animal friends."
"Don’t like my driving? Then Quit Watching Me!"
"I believe in magic, dragons, men..... and other fantasy creatures.."
if u guys have anything to add.. u know what to do..
11/21/2005 9:32 pm
Here's a few I like:|
"I'm still HOT...It just comes in flashes now"
"Just cuz you have one...doesn't mean you gotta be one"
"I think...therfore I am single"
I love your humor!!!
11/23/2005 8:00 am
Keep honking; I'm reloading! |
Bad cop- No donut
If it's called Tourist Season, why can't we shoot them?
PORN! It's cheaper than dating.
Darwin loves you.
Born OK the First time.
I've got nothing against God; it's his fan club I can't stand
Sorry I missed Church; I've been busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.
Born free; Taxed to death
Die, Barney! Die...Die...Die!
Don't assume I'm not into cheap meaningless sex
Beer: Helping ugly people get laid since 1862!
I'm not shy. I'm just examining my prey.
CAUTION: Driver just doesn't give a shit anymore.
What happened? Did you wish for a big dick and become one instead?
Before therapy I was a raging asshole, but I'm comfortable with that now.
I'm smiling; that alone should scare you.
Why Does Shit Happen? I MAKE It Happen.
My soul was removed to make room for all this sarcasm.
Serial killer on board
It's not whining if you wave a handgun.
If you can read this, you're in my kill zone.
Yes, my tits are real. So is my penis.
Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?
Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.
If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.
If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.
The Earth Is Full - Go Home.
So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.
The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name.
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
Honk If Anything Falls Off.
You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?
It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now.
If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong...
If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over... [Seen Upside Down,On A Jeep]
Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.
Necrophillia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.
Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel.
Cat: The Other White Meat.
Salmon: The Other Pink Meat.
Caution - Driver Legally Blonde!
Don't Be Sexist - Bitches Hate That.
S'io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero,
Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo.