Creepy men on AFF  

puntachueca 105M
2534 posts
6/11/2006 5:12 am

Last Read:
6/12/2006 1:03 pm

Creepy men on AFF

I’ve been reading a lot of commentaries about how creepy and nasty some of the men are on this site. That they don’t read profiles. That they assume some things that are not true about other members, particularly the female bloggers. They make scary comments. They don’t except "no". They get blocked, and still keep trying.

I think a major source of this problem is tied to how AdultFriendFinder promotes itself. You might want to check this out for yourself if you haven’t seen it.

A large number of porn sites are carrying promotions for AdultFriendFinder. "Find somebody to fuck in your area tonight" with profile pix. I'm assuming the profile pix are of those who pay for extra visibility. The viewer is obviously going to assume any femal on AdultFriendFinder wants to get laid tonight.

An example:

Freemilfs presents 52 year old Joan from AdultFriendFinder.......... Joan is a divorcee who is enjoying the single life again, especially since she joined up at AdultFriendFinder. She has met up with several lucky younger guys for no strings attached sex! After all, its the site that puts ladies aged 30+ in touch with guys like us who appreciate that women most definately get sexier as they get older... If you want to meet up with her or 1000's of other hot older babes then check out the profiles when you enter below. You have nothing to lose and believe me, lots to gain!

Given the promotion, the mere fact you are on AdultFriendFinder creates the presumption you sre just looking for a meaningless quickie. Thus the guy coming into AdultFriendFinder to look around starts with a preconceived notion about who is here and why.

This site is called AdultFriendFinder. Not Fuck Friend Finder. But it is promoted as Fuck Friend Finder. Meanwhile a lot of us are looking for adult friends. Emphasis on friend.

demonicsexkitten 41F
10671 posts
6/11/2006 5:23 am

I found this site via a link on a different site I'm a member of. It's also an adult site, but not a "sex" site, despite the owner is in the "adult entertainment" business. There was no advertising like you showed above. Just a basic AdultFriendFinder picture bar thing.

Thankfully, there are a lot of "adults" on this site too, literate and intelligent, and many who appreciate people for who they are, not just "what" they are (or what they assume them to be).

puntachueca replies on 6/11/2006 5:28 am:
Agreed. I suspect the site experience is vastly different for women then men. There's not a lot of women trolling around porn sites and then jumping to the conclusion all men just want to have sex (gee...that's a conclusion that doesn't need any support).

I was initially very surprised to see, on one end of the scale, pix of women showing their private parts only...and then nice sweet little pix of ladies obviously looking for real relationships. Kind of schizo.

My guess is the ladies looking for real relationships have to put up with a lot of crap, because that's how AdultFriendFinder funds itself.

digdug41 49M

6/11/2006 6:09 am

I've seen it I know whatcha mean good post

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

puntachueca replies on 6/11/2006 6:28 am:
You are a good man and a healing force here. Thank you. It is a privilege and and honor to know you.

BlondieEuro 52F

6/11/2006 8:06 am

PUNTACAHUECA, I agree with you totally. Some of my blogs are fantasies that I created others are real, however the guys here do treat you a bit that way, but they are very respectful and most are looking for friendship as well. So theres a plus for down under guys. However that being said I have been trying to send you an email but for some reason cant. If you ever come to Aussie land you are quite welcome to have a drink with me, and night out if you like.
Thanks for reading my blogs. You have been a source of inspiration for me as I am all new to this. I am in Adelaide, in South Australia. Blondie XXX

puntachueca replies on 6/11/2006 8:30 pm:
Cool. I've always wanted a reason to go to the Land Down Under.
Now, in typical stupid American fashion, I need to get a map of Australia, and figure out where Adelaide is.

demonicsexkitten 41F
10671 posts
6/11/2006 8:09 am

My guess is the ladies looking for real relationships have to put up with a lot of crap, because that's how AdultFriendFinder funds itself. <-- by what I've heard/read... that seems to be the "life standard". good ppl, of either gender, usually tend to get shafted.

puntachueca replies on 6/11/2006 8:32 pm:
Something I've learned to do in this life is focus on the good folks and ignore the nasties. We should start a group "Can't Shaft Us No More".

sexyariesgirl 57F

6/11/2006 9:03 am

You know...there are creepy PEOPLE everywhere. Not just men.....not just women. And yes some men think that just because this is a sex site they can say anything they want to a woman and she shouldn't be offended. But don't we see that in "real life" too? I know I have!

I'm personally not offended by blunt emails or IM's or by dick pics. It is a sex site after all. I usually just ignore the emails and IM's...and you don't have to dwell on the dick pics if they offend you. I've gone out with men from this site, but I've made many good friends here as well.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this site is a lot like real life..there are wonderful people here, there are jerks here, and there are people here who don't quite know how to approach others. Then you have those who are here ONLY for sex. I don't judge any of them....after all....we ALL have our own reasons for being here.

Power To FOK

puntachueca replies on 6/11/2006 8:34 pm:
You've got it. I went out gold panning once...sifted through a lot of dirt and voila...there were little tiny flakes of gold. I feel like I've found a lot of gold in my blog friends such as yourself.

rm_Kissmystuff 61F
1435 posts
6/11/2006 10:33 am

Agree with most of what's said in the comments to your post. The site is much like real life. You're going to get people who fall for the ad propaganda..and think it's all and only about sex. But then..if that's what people think..they're really doing themselves a disservice. Isn't it better to judge an individual for their own merits..rather then making assumptions. also goes back to the double standard. A man can talk about sex..can indulge in sex..and "sow his wild oats" to his heart's content. But he's still considered a decent man. A woman..if she does the considered a whore. I stay on the site and do my blog because it gives me opportunity to express my sexuality and sensuality..something I can't do on other sites. But it doesn't make me a whore..and doesn't mean I'll just into bed with just anyone..and everyone.

Those emails I get..well let's just say..the trash bin fills up quickly. Occasionally..there is one from someone I'd like to know as a friend.



puntachueca replies on 6/11/2006 8:36 pm:
What's cool about this for me is to link up with people like yourself...who have a very strong heart and soul...and can express yourself about things sensual and sexual. This is wonmderful. It is a whole new world for me, and I love it. And I really like the people, like yourself, that I've met via the blogs. You and others like you are ery special friends and really brighten up my life and give me hope there's going to be someone somewhere to do it all with.

mm0206 68F
7767 posts
6/11/2006 9:53 pm

June 12th....

National Hugs Day

Hugs...and more Hugs


puntachueca replies on 6/11/2006 10:24 pm:
And hugs for you, too.

QueenOfSwords 34F

6/12/2006 12:02 am

Are you reading my mind this morning?

[post 384821]

puntachueca replies on 6/12/2006 6:24 am:
Great post. Maybe make up one of those automatic replies that says
"if you haven't read my profile your balls will shrivel up to the size of raisins"....

TabithaElectra79 37F

6/12/2006 12:52 am

You are right on the money there!

puntachueca replies on 6/12/2006 6:25 am:
Well...we all work around crap all the time, I guess.
But, notwithstanding having to separate the wheat from the chaff...making some pretty good solid connections with real people.

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