|Blogs > pseudonorm > Re-Vision-ing|
This weekend, I passed up an opportunity to meet several people in a local swinger's group I belong to on Yahoo. I had a poker game to go to and could easily have gone to the meet and greet instead. Why?
I guess I'm realizing that the possibility of hooking up with someone outside my marriage is unrealistic. Most women reject the idea on principle. Also, the logistics of carrying it out beyond a email or phone conversation or growing slimmer all the time. As I spend more time working from home and under her watchful eye, the chance of anything developing is nil. There's little left in our relationship, no real spark to rekindles; unless you consider the smoldering dislike we share.
Besides, the game was with folks from work, whom I know, vs. a group I don't even know what they look like! Even though I'm not pursuing any of them for THAT kind of thing, the companionship is something I need more than ever. My life is becoming 1 dimensional and I can only tolerate that through self-medication. Well this all sounds pretty crappy... sorry.
15 views on profile so far. Activity is really enhanced by blog entries, I think. Since I haven't been posting the past couple days, there's not much new interest it seems. We'll see tomorrow then! Have evaluated local matches and all are a no go, judging by responses. Many are standard members, tho and I have not allowed (payed for) them to contact me by email. Of course they can alway comment on this blog, in hopes I will check their profiles.
See, a flicker of hope remains. That optomistic fantasy of a hot liason is not easy to dissuade. Well, what's it been now, 2 weeks on AdultFriendFinder? About what I had expected so far. More manana.