Embarrassed by your Southernness...  

prettypussy4004 87F
1033 posts
6/23/2006 6:11 am

Last Read:
3/29/2011 9:48 am

Embarrassed by your Southernness...


Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, ... as in: "Going to town, be back directly."

Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line," ... we talk to everybody!

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.

In the South, y'all is singular, .... all y'all is plural.

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" ... and go your own way.

To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southernness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!

And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!

And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."

Bless your hearts, y'all have a blessed day.

From a TRUE Southerner who takes the south every were she goes.

No road is traveled alone, just know your journey is a shared one.
{=}Pretty


rufflebutt2202 65F

6/23/2006 7:29 am

AMEN and pass the biskits and sopping gravy!
Made me laugh!


prettypussy4004 87F

6/23/2006 6:48 pm

Well, y'all know we southern bells are funny it's part of our training.

No road is traveled alone, just know your journey is a shared one.
{=}Pretty


spoldrtn812 51F  
1056 posts
6/24/2006 5:08 pm

hey queen. glad to be back. can at least connect here now! Right on time for the summer concert series!!

Please, Sign my Guestbook Screw me!


prettypussy4004 87F

6/25/2006 4:37 am

Glad you are back and I hope all is well with you and yours.{=}

No road is traveled alone, just know your journey is a shared one.
{=}Pretty


rm_trickynoses 57M
1 post
7/6/2006 8:48 pm

ONLY A SOUTHERNER KNOWZ JUZ HOW LONG "A SPELL" IS OR JUS HOW FER A "PIECE " IS AND WHEN TO SAY "AINT THAT SPECIAL" STEAD OF SOUNDS LIKE BS TA ME ! AN YA CAN TAKE THE BOY OUTTA THE SOUTH LOTS EASIER THAN TAKIN THE SOUTH OUTTA THE BOY, I WAS SOUTHERN BORN ,IZ SOUTHERN BRED AN WHEN I DIE ILL JUS BE SOUTHERN DEAD. SEEMS LIKE THE ONLY TIME YOU HEAR "MAM" IS FROM A SOUTHERNER OR SUM'ONE RAIZED BY ONE


prettypussy4004 87F

7/16/2006 8:07 am

I heard that{=}

No road is traveled alone, just know your journey is a shared one.
{=}Pretty


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