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pretty_blue_eyes 38F
3045 posts
8/11/2006 1:18 am

Last Read:
8/14/2006 6:51 am

Open...


Okay, I did a previous post about pick-up lines and lames ones at that. lol. Granted, a few people posted some pretty cute ones. My question is this....

If I'm at a bar, how do I know if a guy is "interested" or perhaps is "open"? I'm pretty clueless about this. I wonder this because when I am out with my friends and having fun. On the way home we are doing a recap and talking about how one got hit on, who another danced with etc. It ALWAYS ends with my saying something similiar to, "Well, at least you guys got hit on! I didn't even get hit on!" Then their usual response is, "Are you kidding me/us? There were guys staring at you all night!" Ummm...I didn't see 'em. Just because a guy might look doesn't mean anything, correct? Besides, could have been looking at someone behind me, beside me, like one of my friends!

I myself, personally believe it is their own active imaginations or they only say such in hopes to help buoy my flagging spirits in regards to them being hit upon and myself receiving nothing on our night out.

Opinions? Suggestions? What qualifies? What should I look for?

toothysmile 50M
16515 posts
8/11/2006 1:49 am

if he tells you 'my fridge is stocked with pineapple juice', he probably has something on his mind...
you are soooo sexy when you have that question mark in your eyes! [wink].
sweetest kisses.


GuyFromEK 49M

8/11/2006 2:05 am

If a guy is looking at you when you are out, make eye contact and smile at him, that will be a signal for him to come and speak to you.

A few things about flirting:-

1) Make eye contact, if he looks away and then looks back he is probably quite shy and nervous.

2) Smile, can mean yes I saw you looking and I am pleased about it come speak to me.

3) Beware chat up lines, to me the people who use them are generally only after some sex for the night ( if thats what you want then cool )

4) In this modern day, it doesnt always have to be the guy to chat you up, if you see someone you like go and say hello.

5) If a guy is constantly bumping into you, he might be looking for an opening to start a conversation, try that accidental bump and say something to start the conversation.

Some of these seem obvious but if you arelike me, I can see people being hit on etc, but when it comes to me I am as blind as a bat. In fact you need to really push it in my face for me to pick it up on it.

Welcome to the blog world


funintheday2006 56M
9659 posts
8/11/2006 2:39 am

Does saying hi kill anyone?? Dont look for anything special, if you like and he appears to be looking, smile. What a turn on for a guy that is, a smile, just for him.


Loosetooth 41M
1146 posts
8/11/2006 2:52 am

Look for the bloke who is staring at you. If that fails look for the bloke who is always just looking away when you look at him.

'Just because a guy might look doesn't mean anything, correct?' - that is rubbish. How many people who you find unattractive do you stare at for more that a second? Have you ever seen a guy who you just could not stop gawping at? This shit is the hardest easiest stuff in the world. We all spend time wondering how do we know these people like us. It consumes us, for years. Yet the answer is simple. They are doing the same things to you that you do when you see someone attractive.

Could they be looking at your friends? Dunno whose eyes are they looking into. If the answer is yours then they are not interested in your friends. If the answer is your friends then they are interested in your friends.

You have been in a long-term relationship that sapped your self-esteem from a very early age. Do not be impatient. Your radar for this stuff is not going to be good and your confidence probably is not the best (and confidence is key). In fact this post is about confidence, this sentence:

'I myself, personally believe it is their own active imaginations or they only say such in hopes to help buoy my flagging spirits in regards to them being hit upon and myself receiving nothing on our night out'.

Is really saying:

'I believe that I am not that attractive and the idea of someone else finding me attractive is so ridiculous that my friends have to lie to me so that I do not become suicidal about their sexual success and my sexual failure'.

That, my dear, is all in your head. Your friends know that you are a beautiful young women, so does Toothy and so do I and what is more we are willing to tell you that, ad infinitum. However it will not mean a damn until you start telling yourself that.

I would also add that you, in a way, do know this. Go re-read your own post "Oh My What A Weekend".


rm_ChiRugger 42M

8/11/2006 4:31 am

Guys dig the same things women do. Number one on that list is confidence. I am sure there are plenty of guys hitting on you, but it seems to me your not confident enough to believe it or recognize that you are being hit on.


ZZ_Todd 59M

8/11/2006 9:33 am

Honest to God, I really am EXTREMELY shy when I'm out and about. If I'm looking, though, I'm interested. And, when I'm really interested, I kinda just find a reason to walk by her, like to use the restroom, or something, then "accidentally" bump into her somehow, then I can politely say, "Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. Are you alright?"

(Nope... hasn't worked yet!)


pretty_blue_eyes 38F
2091 posts
8/11/2006 10:26 am

    Quoting toothysmile:
    if he tells you 'my fridge is stocked with pineapple juice', he probably has something on his mind...
    you are soooo sexy when you have that question mark in your eyes! [wink].
    sweetest kisses.


Hmmm...perhaps he has pina coladas and rain on his mind? lol. Wanna get caught in the rain? *kisses* Goodness, how corny was that one! lol....


pretty_blue_eyes 38F
2091 posts
8/11/2006 10:28 am

    Quoting GuyFromEK:
    If a guy is looking at you when you are out, make eye contact and smile at him, that will be a signal for him to come and speak to you.

    A few things about flirting:-

    1) Make eye contact, if he looks away and then looks back he is probably quite shy and nervous.

    2) Smile, can mean yes I saw you looking and I am pleased about it come speak to me.

    3) Beware chat up lines, to me the people who use them are generally only after some sex for the night ( if thats what you want then cool )

    4) In this modern day, it doesnt always have to be the guy to chat you up, if you see someone you like go and say hello.

    5) If a guy is constantly bumping into you, he might be looking for an opening to start a conversation, try that accidental bump and say something to start the conversation.

    Some of these seem obvious but if you arelike me, I can see people being hit on etc, but when it comes to me I am as blind as a bat. In fact you need to really push it in my face for me to pick it up on it.

    Welcome to the blog world
Thank you for all the little hints, much appreciated! Although I am like you, I can see others getting hit on, but for me to take notice you'd have to beat me over the head with a bat! lol.

Thank you for welcoming me and thanks for visiting!


pretty_blue_eyes 38F
2091 posts
8/11/2006 10:30 am

    Quoting funintheday2006:
    Does saying hi kill anyone?? Dont look for anything special, if you like and he appears to be looking, smile. What a turn on for a guy that is, a smile, just for him.
Never can tell if saying hi will get you killed at times! lol. Thank you for your advice, I just hope the person I smiled at wouldn't run away in fear!


pretty_blue_eyes 38F
2091 posts
8/11/2006 10:45 am

    Quoting Loosetooth:
    Look for the bloke who is staring at you. If that fails look for the bloke who is always just looking away when you look at him.

    'Just because a guy might look doesn't mean anything, correct?' - that is rubbish. How many people who you find unattractive do you stare at for more that a second? Have you ever seen a guy who you just could not stop gawping at? This shit is the hardest easiest stuff in the world. We all spend time wondering how do we know these people like us. It consumes us, for years. Yet the answer is simple. They are doing the same things to you that you do when you see someone attractive.

    Could they be looking at your friends? Dunno whose eyes are they looking into. If the answer is yours then they are not interested in your friends. If the answer is your friends then they are interested in your friends.

    You have been in a long-term relationship that sapped your self-esteem from a very early age. Do not be impatient. Your radar for this stuff is not going to be good and your confidence probably is not the best (and confidence is key). In fact this post is about confidence, this sentence:

    'I myself, personally believe it is their own active imaginations or they only say such in hopes to help buoy my flagging spirits in regards to them being hit upon and myself receiving nothing on our night out'.

    Is really saying:

    'I believe that I am not that attractive and the idea of someone else finding me attractive is so ridiculous that my friends have to lie to me so that I do not become suicidal about their sexual success and my sexual failure'.

    That, my dear, is all in your head. Your friends know that you are a beautiful young women, so does Toothy and so do I and what is more we are willing to tell you that, ad infinitum. However it will not mean a damn until you start telling yourself that.

    I would also add that you, in a way, do know this. Go re-read your own post "Oh My What A Weekend".
What if perhaps I don't see any guy staring at me or just looking away? I haven't recognized any yet. Well, there is always something to be said some people just can't help staring at, like car accidents, train accidents, see where the police car is going, and in some instances ugly people. lol. What if the person didn't look into your eyes? At least that you could tell? As far as your interpretation of my statement I must argue on the fact that although it is correct to some degree, 'the lie to me so that I do not become suicidal about their sexual success and my sexual failure' as not being correct. I don't see them as their reason, I think its just to help me feel better and not so down on myself. Besides, just because they got hit on didn't mean they went home with them, so I know nothing about their "sexual success" of that evening or not. lol.

I do realize that I need to believe I am indeed somewhat attractive, just find it hard to do so. As far as my post your referred to, it was a bunch of guys on a boat that hadn't seen any women much less been around and talked to in a month. Puts a different spin on it now, huh? lol.


pretty_blue_eyes 38F
2091 posts
8/11/2006 11:04 am

    Quoting ZZ_Todd:
    Honest to God, I really am EXTREMELY shy when I'm out and about. If I'm looking, though, I'm interested. And, when I'm really interested, I kinda just find a reason to walk by her, like to use the restroom, or something, then "accidentally" bump into her somehow, then I can politely say, "Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. Are you alright?"

    (Nope... hasn't worked yet!)
Ahhhh...so maybe she is like me and didn't think she was getting hit on. Ya know?


GraspCrownRusts 46M
780 posts
8/11/2006 2:00 pm

Guys are simple to figure out. The answer's always, "yes!"...lol

"Do you want to buy me a drink?" Yes.

"Do you like my butt in these jeans?" Yes.

"Were you looking at me because you think I'm the best thing going?" Yes.

Guys are shy though mostly. Some aren't. But you know the ones who are checking you out and can't talk to you - he's shy. If he looks good, then go ask him to dance one with you. If there's no spark afte the dance, tell him, "thanks" and go back to your table.

...but you're a hottie with a great personality to boot - you shouldn't have any problems with the guys over there...


smiles4harry 38M

8/11/2006 3:34 pm

if u make a guy turn his head and give that quick gaze(more the better).. then girl u got it..


T_A_B_75 41M

8/11/2006 4:31 pm

I asked the exact same question with no response.

If I were hitting on you there wouldn't be a doubt in your mind. Pick Up lines work nicely but it's the personality that pulls them off.

"If beauty were a minute, you'd be an hour"


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