pretty_blue_eyes 38F
3045 posts
6/8/2006 9:55 pm

Last Read:
6/25/2006 4:34 pm


Is there such a thing as true love? Is there such a thing as love at first sight? Can two people from different places meet, spend time together fall in love so quickly? Or are feelings misguided, not love, but lust? Are these two people both terribly unhappy on their own and own situations, that once upon meeting find a kindred hurt spirit, they connect, share, and out of this is love? or lust?

How can a person distinguish between love and lust? Is love constantly thinking of that other someone? While lust is constantly thinking about having sex with them? Can one be in lust and in love with the same person?

It is said, better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Why does love change? Love matures, it starts as the giggly sensation and goes into the best friend, the one you share all your secrets and desires with and they return the favor. If love isn't nutured, it then becomes resent. One resents their partner for things that were missed out upon, for things they won't be able to do again. Mis-spent youth. Growing up to soon, trying to be more than what they really are.

Have you ever wondered why divorce is so common now? Our parents, grandparents typically got married when they were 13 or 14 yrs old. In today's society the typical age for marriage is for the female, age 26 and males are closer to age 28. Yet 1 in 2 marriages end in divorce. How can that be? We are waiting longer to get married, get to spread our "oats" more and yet 50% of all marriages do not last. Then again, you do have the other 50% of marriages that last. My grandparents were married for about 54 yrs before he passed away. My parents were married for 26 yrs before they divorced. Can you imagine, being married to someone for almost a half a century and losing them? The loss, the trauma?

I don't get it. I'm lost, confused, and hurt. I don't like who I am in this point in time. I don't like who I have become at times, its not me. I realize this, I know this, I try to put forth an effort to change it, yet change never comes. I set myself up for a change and it never comes. Disappointment, the same let downs. Whoever said that life wasn't fair, either had everything they ever wanted or needed and told that to those that didn't. Or they looked upon others to see them having every hearts desire and here the person had nothing. The emotional roller coaster, which appears to have much more downs than ups in it. I'm ready to get off the ride, so ready.

Sorry for my babbling, just confusing and hurt talking. Just ignore it.....

STCMOguy4fun 36M

6/10/2006 1:20 am

Why ignore it, you made some exellent points. I have seen alot lately that confuses me to no end & I think a probelm that alot of people have today it the fact that many of them tend to lust, or are actually in Love but for the wrong reasons. When I say in the wrong reasons is lately I have noticed that many people are only in love with the "idea" of being in love. Then again I have seen that many people when they get married tend to have children to quickly & make an attempt at staying together so their children do not suffer in the end.... I say this unfortunately from personal experiance & have basically turned into all of my friends "shrink", mostly because I tend to try to help & listen to them when they need an ear. So I say that this was not a waist of time. You need to babble...well.. take care & have a good one.

OcelotScratch 48M
286 posts
6/13/2006 11:17 pm

One of the major reasons that the divorce rate is up is simply because it is now much easier to undertake the legal process known as divorce. I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with it being easier, just that it is. There are a lot of people who would have gotten divorced in the old days, if only they didn't have to go into court and claim that the relatioship was abusive (pleading Intolerable Cruelty) or that their partner was cheating on them.

Which is comforting, in a way, because the suspicion is that old people really weren't more virtuous than we are. They just want us to believe that.

Of course, now that my marriage is on the rocks, we'll see how I feel about it.

pretty_blue_eyes 38F
2091 posts
6/14/2006 7:42 am

I suppose that is true, and it is easier being a divorcee now, not so frowned upon. Good luck with your marriage situation!

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