Any Suggestions??????  

pretty_blue_eyes 38F
3045 posts
7/20/2005 6:26 am

Last Read:
8/11/2006 10:46 am

Any Suggestions?????? is Wednesday morning. I am at work and it appears like it is going to be a long day. *sigh* Just great! Now, I'm not a man basher, so for those of you who are reading this, please be patient. I am utterly clueless as what to do. Upon my reflection, I realize that with my husband, yes...I am married, he seems to think he doesn't have to do anything. We've been having problems for awhile. Not just a few months, but at least 3 yrs now. Do you guys help out at home? Are guys all the same? Do they help out for awhile, and sense that things are better. Just stop? Yet, continue to think that things are the same? Now how does THAT work? Its as if guys believe that they have the choice of whether or not to pick up, do laundry (and yes that doesn't include changing them from washer to dryer to folding and putting them away), and dishes. As if women are the ones that have to do it. I don't get a choice if I want to or not. Shoot, who really wants to do that stuff? No one! Its a necessary evil that has to be done. Seriously, who really enjoys cleaning the toilet????? I know I don't! Anyways, he believes oh if I help out around the house for about a week, then all will be good again. Pick up a little...maybe cook dinner once and *POOF* no more problems! Ugh...are all guys like this? Any guys out there will you please shed some light on this subject for me? Ladies?????? Well, I'm outta here for now, might make another post later....Have a great day!!!!

Okay, I have received a couple of good ideas and I am going to try to implement them to see how they go over. I'm thinking not to well, but who knows for certain. Question...what if none of these ideas work, is he only staying b/c he wants a maid? or a Momma??????

MUTigerinOPKS 48M

7/20/2005 8:51 am

I work and my wife stays home. Therefore its my expectation that the home front is her territory. Having said that, I take care of all yard and household maintenance and occasionally, if her management of the house isn't living up to my standard (my problem I know!), than I will help out on the inside.

Thats not really what you asked for but its my opinion that if you both work outside the home that there be some division (equal) of the household chores.

pretty_blue_eyes 38F
2091 posts
7/20/2005 9:58 am

Thanks for the comments. I appreciate them. I work outside of the home as well. On top of that, I do yard work and fix things around the house. All he seems to manage to do is sit there when he is off. Or go run around. Which, when he is home just about doubles my load of things to do. I have asked, asked, asked, and asked some more. He tells me "I will do it later" and later never comes. After, I ask so long, he asks me what is MY problem and to get over it. So I just end up doing it anyways. I've tried the not doing his laundry if its not in the right area...and well, it just multiplied and multiplied. Any other suggestions or ideas?

rm_dequidd 57M

7/20/2005 1:59 pm

When your hubby was single he had to pick up after himself (unless he was living at Mama's) Chores are part of having a household. Make a list of ALL of the chores inside and outside the house. Then rate them as to how much time they take per week (dishes might be 20 minutes times 7) Then divide the chores evenly for the amount of time/effort they take... if one person cooks, the other should clean.

A nice trick to avoid fighting is have one person divide the chores into what they think is fair and the OTHER person get to choose which list they will work from. That avoids the division being slanted by negociation skills.

pretty_blue_eyes 38F
2091 posts
7/20/2005 4:11 pm

Oh wow...that is an awesome idea. He lived at his mom's, and he got away with lots of stuff. Didn't have to clean, pick up, or do yard work. Must be nice, huh? Well, I will give it a shot and see how it goes. I'm not thinking it will go over at all. He will use the "I work hard for x amt and deserve a break" card. Pretty sure of it! lol. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

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