Why It's Good To Be A Man!  

pragmaticCTcpl 61M/50F
3614 posts
2/20/2006 12:32 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Why It's Good To Be A Man!

Why It's Good To Be a Man!

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

You don't have to shave below your neck.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You don't care if someone notices your new haircut.

Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"

One mood, ALL the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You can leave the motel bed unmade.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without thinking: "He must be mad at me."

You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes. We DON'T have to touch EVERYTHING..!

Movie nudity is virtually always female.

You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives.

Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.

Old friends don't give a crap whether you've lost or gained weight.

When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall at every shot of somebody crying.

Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.

All your orgasms are real.

A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.

You don't have to lug a bag full of stuff around everywhere you go.

You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.

You see the humor in "Terms of Endearment."

Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow.

You never have to clean a toilet.

You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes.

Sex means never worrying about your reputation.

None of your co-workers has the power to make you cry.

You don't have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night.

You can write your name in the snow.

Everything on your face gets to stay its original color.

Chocolate is just another snack.

Flowers fix everything.

You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours. happym;

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You can eat a banana in a hardware store.

You can say anything and not worry about what people think. ;!;

Foreplay is optional.

Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.

Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room.

You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.

You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.

The world is your urinal.

You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.

You never have to drive on to another gas station because "this one's just too gross."

You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.

You can sit with you knees apart no matter what you're wearing.

Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.

You don't care if someone's talking about you behind your back.

If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

The remote control is yours and yours alone.

You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers.

You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.

You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.

You needn't pretend you're "Freshening up" to go to the bathroom.

If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your other friends you've changed.

Someday you'll be a dirty old man.

You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "Screw it."

If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong buddies.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood.

If something mechanical doesn't work, you can bash it with a hammer or throw it across the room.

New shoes don't blister, cut, and mangle your feet.

Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.

You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.

Not liking a person won't stop you from having great sex with them.

We GIVE facials...we don't GET them..! ...\8

All in All...It's GREAT Being a Man!!

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