My Secret Is Out  

pragmaticCTcpl 61M/50F
3614 posts
5/3/2006 7:33 am

Last Read:
5/7/2006 6:15 am

My Secret Is Out

Mr Prag, called me this morning and asked me, "What is wrong with you lately? You seems so spacey." My reply, "I quit smoking on Sunday. You haven't noticed?"

Yes, fellow has been 70 hours for me without a cigarette. Cold turkey. I am here to tell you that this is the toughest thing I've ever done. The tears, the sweats, the craving, the overwhelming desire for a cigarette. God, help me I want a cigarette!! Meanwhile, I know that I'm doing the right thing. For myself and for my family. So far I'm staying strong.

I went on to explain to Mr. Prag that my chest was always feeling heavy. You know...he made a joke about the size of my rack. I also explained to him that I had recently had pressure in my back and was very short of breath. I said, "That I don't want to die young. I'm turning 40 this month. I want to grow old with you. I want to see my children grow." Mr. Prag said, " That explains your mood! Well, just as long as you don't send me outside to smoke and you don't preach to me about my smoking. I said, " No, I can't tell you want to do. I'm not about to give you a hard time about your smoking. This was a decision that I made for myself. Shit!! I love to smoke...if there was such a thing as a safe cigarette...I'd be smoking it...but there isn't."

My breathing is getting better each day. I feel better. I know that there are no guarantees in life about cancer but I don't want to add anymore to my chances. I have watched too many of my loved ones die from that terrible disease. Cancer is my biggest fear. Hopeful, I've stopped in time. Only time will tell. Better now then never.

I'm worth husband is worth children are worth it. Wish me luck.

fantasylover_05 62M

5/3/2006 7:55 am


YOU are indeed worth it!!!

I send you all my strength and well wishes!!!

I know how very very hard it is... and with your husband continuing to smoke will make it all the more difficult.. I only wish he would also get inspired and quit WITH YOU!!


imLadyBambi 58M/50F

5/3/2006 8:09 am


GOOD LUCK and hang in there.
I know it's tough.Cigarettes are the reason I am in the condition that I am in.I am 39 yrs.old and I have asthma,emphysema and COPD.I have been diagnosed with these illnesses for about 9 years now.

Yes, I am still smoking and you might be asking WHY?Well there is nothing they can do about any of my conditions.I am too far gone.So I might as well die happy.Mr.Bambi supports my decision in every way.That means alot.

So yes, if you can PLEASE quit.I would hate to see anybody go through what I go through on a day to day basis.
Sincerely Lady Bambi

firestarter665 42M/39F

5/3/2006 9:05 am

I give you a lot of credit for quitting!! You go girl. I know that you can get through this.

I have tried quitting a few times, but I am just not ready yet.

Keep up the good work! We are here for you!

mycin62 54F

5/3/2006 9:22 am

Good for you Honey!!! I know you can do it! Smoking is SOOOOOO bad for you and your family. Believe me, I know, I lost my father to lung cancer. But, you know cancer is not the only bad disease from smoking. Emphysema is pretty bad too, picture this, being on oxygen, ALL the time, at home, when you go out, dragging a portable O2 tank everywhere with ya. No fun at all!

Keep up the good work, I'll be cheering you on!!

Hopefully we can get Mr Prag to stop too!!

angelofmercy5 59F
17881 posts
5/3/2006 12:53 pm

Good for you MrsPrag! They say that even after as little as 36 hours of not smoking your lungs begin to heal themselves! You go girl!

NSAAddict 42F

5/3/2006 2:52 pm

That is excellent news Mrs. Prag!!! Congratulations on making a difficult but wonderful decision, so proud of you!!!

Cherylplaytime 51F

5/3/2006 3:05 pm

I need to not only send you well wishes ... but kudos ... applause ... a standing O ... (mmmm)

Similar to you I had to face the same dilemna ... I quit over two years ago. The first seven days is physical withdrawl. The next 14 will be psychological. Get your family to help ... to encourage. Since your hubby is still smoking ... ask him to brush his teeth before he kisses you. It sounds mean ... but it's not a reflection on him as much as reducing your temptation!

If you don't mind sweets ... they can help ... by substituting that desire to put something in your mouth. I used altoids, licorice, tootsie pops ... and yes ... even hubby ... it all helped.

Keep strong hun. Last piece of advice ... stay out of the places where you use to buy cigs. If you don't buy them ... you won't have them ... and you can't smoke them !

hugs ...

docdirk 47M

5/3/2006 4:39 pm

Congrats, Awesome news!!! (JJ clapping)

Now, what are you going to do to fill that oral fixation???

Ah, Its you again, Your Angel Feathers and your Blood Stains...

rm_cant_be_true 38M

5/3/2006 6:25 pm

congrats, and good luck keeping it up... your chest that is

fine the quitting smoking thing too

jd29992z 54M
3888 posts
5/3/2006 8:15 pm

Good luck and stick with it. It is tough I know but you will feel better. Stay strong JD

mangomamiCT 42F

5/3/2006 11:10 pm

good luck !!!!!!!!!!

libgemOH 56M/52F

5/4/2006 4:17 am

I'm a non-smoker wanna be! What you and I need to do is hole up in a room for about a week and just go through the withdrawals together. Whether it works or not, it could be an AWFUL LOT OF FUN!!! -B

rocko1019 66M

5/4/2006 4:46 am

Good luck and hang in there. Just DON'T pick up another cig. Just take it one day at a time. I quit twice in my life. The last time for good. It gets easier and easier the longer you go. Eventually you forget all about it.

pragmaticCTcpl 61M/50F

5/4/2006 5:56 am

My dear blog friends and supporters. I am a failure. I have bad news. I broke yesterday. After what I felt was several nervous breakdowns I caved under the unbearable tears and depression and smoked. I had such guilt and sorrow for failing at my attempt. I leaned several things this week. 1. I will not give up on my desire to quit. This is just a set back. I will succeed. 2. I CANNOT do this alone. I will prepare myself better next time with either the patch or nicotine gum. 3. I need to do it at a time when I am busy on a daily basis. Sitting around the house with my sick son for two days while it rained outside only added to my cabin fever and the increase in climbing the walls.( not an excuse...but truth..a lesson learned ) I became completely unable to function or think. One word "Wack-a-doo."

I have to approach this as a life change and I have promised myself that I will NOT give up on me. Even if it takes me several tries. This is going to be really hard work. I am sorry that I let everyone down. Including myself. Forgive me and try not to judge me to harshly. I am already hard enough on myself. I love all of you guys and gals.

rm_cant_be_true 38M

5/4/2006 3:28 pm

Hey you can only take one day at a time... you aren't a failure, you successfully quit for a while, now you can try for a while longer! Think positive thoughts!

Keep your chin up! And your chest too

pragmaticCTcpl replies on 5/5/2006 7:36 am:
CBT thanks...I won't give up. ***Sticking my chest out for you***

rm_DarknStar 54F
2823 posts
5/4/2006 7:12 pm

Well I was coming in here to tell you good luck...then I read your I broke comment....Hang in there, its a hard thing to do "cold turkey". But I truely understand what your feeling with the breathing and feeling like crap...Im a smoker too! and its hard to give them UP!.......Good Luck to you, when you try again

pragmaticCTcpl replies on 5/5/2006 7:37 am:
Thanks sweetie. {=}

rm_jgbkab 42M

5/5/2006 4:59 pm

I'm on my 25th day. I broke the babit with the help of Zyban. It's so worth $93

pragmaticCTcpl replies on 5/7/2006 6:15 am:
Congratulations on your success. Hope the $93. was before the insurance kicked in.

Become a member to create a blog