Funny Sayings & Questions  

pragmaticCTcpl 61M/50F
3614 posts
2/16/2006 7:59 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Funny Sayings & Questions

Funny Sayings & Questions

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.

I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.

I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "...that was fun!"

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."

The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is eating them.

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl - Alt - Delete' and start all over?

Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

My husband says I never listen to him (at least I think that's what he said).

If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called LABOR!

Wouldn't you know it...brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.

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