Etiquette Of Sex With Others  

pragmaticCTcpl 61M/50F
3614 posts
4/21/2006 3:20 pm

Last Read:
4/23/2006 4:59 am

Etiquette Of Sex With Others

This blog was originally posted by pragmaticCTcpl 4/20/2006 6:07 am. When responding to the 6 comments on it, at approximately 2:55 pm EDT on 4/21/2006, the blog, the comments, and the responses disappeared. We repost it now...and hope it will not disappear, again. And our sincerest apologies to those who commented and could not view our responses.

Things NOT to Say to a Man...

So how old are your profile pictures?

That's it?

The doctor said the sores should clear up in a week.

Wow - look at all the hair on your back!

Maybe you should start going to the gym more.

That was fine, sweetie...pass me my vibrator?

That's a shame, maybe we should grab a video instead?

Wake me when it's over, ok?

I think the condom's too big.

I can't find the condom.

You want to stick that where?!?

Well, that explains the padded pants.

Are you in yet?

My husband's in the Marines.

My husband will be home in five minutes.

Is that a toupee?

That's ok. We can just cuddle.

Could we place a bucket by the side of the bed?

So THAT'S what (insert profile name )warned me about!

Surgery might be able to help.

Not until you've showered.

That must be my husband on the phone.

Your best friend's better.

Wow! Look at the size of your.....beer gut!

Size doesn't REALLY matter, dear.

You might want to see a doctor about that.

"Look!" there is a bug on the ceiling.

"WOW!" It must be true what they say....the web cam really does add 5 lbs. to it.

My clothes/shoes will fit nicely in your closet.

How many kids do you want?.

.

Things NOT to say to a woman...

I'll make it up to you next time.

Cool, I've never been to the Grand Canyon.

You must be very experienced.

Am I in?

Remember, you said this was a freebie...right?

Your high school profile picture looked hot!

Wait, let me get a board and rope so I don't fall in.

I gotta take off my wedding ring, wouldn't wanna lose it.

Why do you wear a bra when you've already got a belt.

Would you mind rolling around in this flour.

So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.

Look....I can get my whole arm in.

It's a good thing you have so many other talents.

Is that an optical illusion?

If I look right at it I feel like I'm falling in.

Would you mind wearing a paper sack on your head?

Do you mind if I wear one too...in case yours falls off?

Jeez...What ya got up there, dead fish?

I heard you could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.

Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?

I've been wondering all night what that smell was.

You know they have surgery to fix that.

Everybody down at the bar said you were good.

Oh, that's why they call it a Wonderbra, it makes those lines go away.

I expect a good time, at least, the bathroom wall said so.

You're not "that" fat.

I see why (insert profile name)said, with you, it's better with the lights out.

Wow, you like it the same way your girlfriend does.



rm_kneel_be4me 48M
457 posts
4/21/2006 5:17 pm

Wow, that is awsome. I laughed my ass off.


pragmaticCTcpl replies on 4/22/2006 12:45 pm:
Glad you enjoyed it...and hope it didn't hurt..!

libgemOH 56M/52F

4/21/2006 7:41 pm

Gee, some of those sound like things you should have said to the Keebler elf.... -B


pragmaticCTcpl replies on 4/22/2006 12:48 pm:
B...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That wasn't meant to be repeated in public.

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