A Real Pain In The Ass  

pragmaticCTcpl 61M/50F
3614 posts
4/19/2006 6:10 am

Last Read:
4/20/2006 11:04 am

A Real Pain In The Ass

You enjoy it...you want it...you even sometimes crave it...but you just can't eat it anymore.

Yesterday, during the day, all I had eaten/drank was coffee, orange juice, water, and a handful of potato chips.

Last night, my husband and I went out to dinner for our anniversary. Nothing fancy. I joked with my husband as I read the menu. Saying..."I'm a cheap date. Not only does it not cost a lot to feed me but I put out on the first date."

I ordered the same thing as my husband. A burger, (well done) no onions and a soda. I also asked for the side salad. Lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, cheese, broccoli, croutons and ranch dressing. I eat the salad. I drank three fourths of the soda and eat one half of the burger.

We get home and I started joking with Mr. Prag. I leaned over one of our front railings in our yard and said, "Come on baby...let's do it right here." He called my dare by coming up behind me, unzipped my pants and began to pull them down for the whole street to see. He then started to unzip his pants and take me from behind. Mind you...It was still daylight. Had it been nighttime...I would have played. But in fear of our neighbors having us arrested for indecent exposure. I put an end to it. Promising, once inside we would continue. Well, that was my intention.

Once inside, I spent what was suppose to be one of those great sex nights...in the bathroom. No less than nine trips on and off the toilet until 10 o'clock at night. I was sick. The food didn't agree with me. I even had the chills. My husband, being his humorous self said, "Well, I guess this means that anal sex is out of the question?"

I was upset. I said to my husband, "What could I have eaten that made me so sick." My husband said, "You are getting older. You can't eat things that you once did. Stay away from all the fried food, all foods with acid (example: orange juice), peppers, onions and soda." I replied, "GREAT! Pretty soon the only thing I will be able to eat is baby food!"

What is next? NO MORE ORAL SEX?!

Do you have a certain food, which you enjoy but can no longer eat because your body says, "No?"


4/19/2006 7:10 am

anything high in fat... Bad pancreas.. kills me if I eat yummy cakes or fried food... dammit girl were ready to be put up to Bisexia pasture...lol we can rub Bengay all over one another..lol
Have a great day

under the stars
We choose to write
you choose what you comprehend.
read twice and be nice
every key stroke... has a heart beat

pragmaticCTcpl replies on 4/20/2006 8:00 am:
I'm running out NOW to get the biggest tube of Ben-gay I can find !!!!

firestarter665 42M/39F

4/19/2006 8:37 am

CHEESE!!! When I got pregnant with my second child, I became lactose intolerant. No more cheese on burgers, no dairy, no ice cream. It sucks! Also, since I started sieting I can not eat any fast food.

pragmaticCTcpl replies on 4/20/2006 8:03 am:
That sucks!!!! I love cheese. Good luck on your diet sweetie! Sex is the best exercise!!!

firestarter665 42M/39F

4/19/2006 8:38 am

Sorry, dieting.

pragmaticCTcpl replies on 4/20/2006 8:04 am:
No worries...sweetie.

NSAAddict 42F

4/19/2006 9:16 am

aww... sorry your anniversary night ended without the good celebratory sex! Hope you're feeling better

pragmaticCTcpl replies on 4/20/2006 8:07 am:
No worries NSA. I'm better. I've worked up a huge appetite and plan to make up for lost time later with the hubby.

imLadyBambi 58M/50F

4/19/2006 10:41 am

I am trying to keep my weight down to 144 lbs. so there are alot of foods that I can't eat anymore.But, I know how you feel and I sympathize with you.

Lady Bambi

pragmaticCTcpl replies on 4/20/2006 8:09 am:
Yeah...that was one helleva weight loss program the other night. Thank you Ladybambi.

angelofmercy5 58F
17881 posts
4/19/2006 1:54 pm

Thats the pits....I'm sorry that you got sick on your anniversary! I can't hardly eat broccoli anymore....gives me gas.

pragmaticCTcpl replies on 4/20/2006 8:11 am:
My husband said the same thing to me...stay away from the broccoli. But I love broccoli!!! I thought veggies were good for you ?


4/19/2006 4:06 pm

Sorry but I guess I have a cast iron stomach. Jalapenos to junk and I am a grandma. So I never have to turn down dessert! YEAHHHHHHH! Sorry ya got a sensitve tummy though but although I can brag about that you can brag about in house dick {=}

just a squirrel trying to get a nut

pragmaticCTcpl replies on 4/20/2006 8:12 am:
GREAT !! I'll send you everything I can't eat!!

TheRealThing655 48F
9558 posts
4/19/2006 5:43 pm

Hope you're feeling better. Yes, as I get older I notice certain fatty foods are getting harder to digest.
This story reminds me of a weekend we spent with a couple of other families last summer. One of the women drank too much, was VERY hungover in the morning and the first thing her husband said to her in front of all of us was "Well, hon, I guess a blow job's out of the question, huh?" She didn't laugh but we did.

pragmaticCTcpl replies on 4/20/2006 8:15 am:
Thank you...yes, I'm feeling much better. You gave me a great idea...Next time my husband has a head cold and can't breath... it would be the perfect time for me to say.." Come on honey...lick my pussy."

mycin62 54F

4/20/2006 1:10 am


I'm lactose intolerant now

pragmaticCTcpl replies on 4/20/2006 8:17 am:
Cin, that stinks!!! Guess ice cream during foreplay is out. Well, there are always popsicles.

rm_cant_be_true 38M

4/20/2006 4:04 am

I thought oral sex got better when your older because a woman can just take out her teeth.

pragmaticCTcpl replies on 4/20/2006 7:56 am:
TRUST ME !!! Her blow-jobs don't need any improvements.

Become a member to create a blog