My son's guilt in Iraq?  

poyntz4us 60M
162 posts
6/6/2005 10:45 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

My son's guilt in Iraq?

My son has killed several men in Iraq. Now he is having a hard time feeling good about himself and sleeping. He asks me for emotional help. What can I do to help him feel guilt-free?

CrackCracker 60M

6/6/2005 12:17 pm

Some things, ONLY time heals. I would suggest he get's close to God in prayer. And keep assuring him his actions are rightious.

Also thank him for me from the depts of my soal and heart. I cherish my freedom. And I almost hold a level of worship to those who fight for it for me.


CrackCracker 60M

6/6/2005 12:28 pm

Thanks Cracker. I appricate it when others show graratude for what he's doing. I couldn't be prouder.

But I am a little worried. He is my only son.


rm_4nik8_4u 61M
2501 posts
6/6/2005 12:46 pm

Remember 9/11!!! It's the same fanatics! They will die just to kill you!

nightstogether 56M

6/6/2005 12:58 pm

Oh dear, poyntz, you forgot to change identities before posting a comment to your question... or so it would appear.


private-intellectual (.de)

poyntz4us 60M

6/6/2005 1:06 pm

Thanks Cracker. I appricate it when others show graratude for what he's doing. I couldn't be prouder.

But I am a little worried. He is my only son.


rm_jayR63 59F
1884 posts
6/6/2005 2:20 pm

Oh, 4nik8.
No, no, no.

Sharp eye, nights. Now let's us all get up real close with god so's she can learn us some spellin'.

poyntz4us 60M

6/6/2005 3:06 pm



I understand that well. I think most people do. But there is always the fanatics of Hollyweird.


rm_Belswingcpl 38M/41F

6/8/2005 8:44 pm

The best advice I can give is remind him of this.

The men and women that serve with him by his actions and taking the lives of those men he helped save his fellow soldier’s lives. By killing them they were unable to kill anyone else over there. That might help ease his mind a little bit, I hope anyways.

Also ask him why did he join, what were his reasons and goals, sometimes reminding someone of those will help them ease the doubt from their soul and allow them to accept their actions.

Also remind him it was either them or him, if he didn’t kill them they sure would have returned the favor and likely never batted an eye or lost a night of sleep.

How is your son doing still? I hope he is doing better though, I truly do. Send him my prayers as well and thanks.

MsLoveRose 33F  
2432 posts
6/9/2005 8:53 am

You could even go on the what are you fighting for approach. His job is a little different than most 9-5 jobs. but still its a job...war is never a good thing and if it can be avoided then great. The great thing is he still has a conscious. He is having mental struggles....that means he isnt heartless, he is caring, and feeling guilt isnt such a bad thing. It can however provide distraction and takes away from the objective of being on duty. My suggestion is to tell him to look within himself and his values to find his pathway to peace. Sometimes we have hard decisions to make. and sometimes those decisions cloud our judgment and train of thought in general.

live more, laugh often, love much

poyntz4us 60M

6/9/2005 9:45 am

Thanks Bels; I tell him things like that all the time as people tell me that. As a parent it really touches me when people like you say things like that.

Reminds me how different Viet-Nam was.

rm_Belswingcpl 38M/41F

6/9/2005 1:49 pm

Yeah I agree with you on that, it is different and yet becoming the same. I have seen way too many examples and I have had a few personally myself, even before the war in Iraq.

I had three uncles in Vietnam, and my father also enlisted at that time and volunteered for service over there. none of them were drafted, they didn’t need to be military service has been a tradition in my family since the revolutionary war. My father wasn’t able to go in country at that time, the rule was if you have three brothers in combat the fourth was kept out. My father has resented that ever since.

When I first moved out to Bellingham my father came along to help in the move and set up, as well as help my wife during the time of my brain surgery. We both were going down town to a park. As soon as we got out of the car my father had some little punk get in his face, call him a baby killer and then spit on him. He ran off as soon as he did that. This was just a couple of months after 9/11 happened. They knew my dad was in the military because he had the military decal on the windshield, a retired marine sticker in his window and wore his retired marine hat. It still amazed me though, but that wasn’t the last incident, his car was vandalized, other incidents of name calling from across the street etc.

Then just a few months ago down in a high school in Seattle two Marines were invited to speak at the school about their experiences in the Military and the war. Both of them were vets, both got the purple heart in combat, and behind them on the stage was a banner that had dead bodies draped with white sheets and stained with blood. On it were the words, the Marines did this on purpose, the kids and teacher who organized that had nothing happen to them. The Marines demanded an apology and got it from the school board but not those who did it. In effect the kids of that class were calling the Marines and everyone over there killers, I nearly threw my remote into the TV when that story came on.

I see it each day, stories that barely get reported, incidents that happen on the street. It is slowly becoming that way again.

Why. Honestly I don’t know. Maybe it is left over from that time period, the people who once protested and now are parents teaching their kids the same things, maybe it never went away and just waited for another conflict to erupt again.

This year I went down to the recruiter and started my paper work to join. One thing you got to know about me is I used to be an epileptic, since I was born in effect. I had brain surgery to remove a mass on my brain in a vain hope to control the seizures just a little, it had the effect of stopping them cold turkey. Because I am a former epileptic I have to wait five years to enlist, which means another two years of waiting before I can serve(and I hate this waiting). But at the time I was hoping the Doc in Seattle would waive that and let me join, he said I could join in the end, which is good, but I have to wait the full five years. I will take this as being good though, because that gives me two years to work out and get in shape to sign up under the Ranger contract, rather then just airborne. What can I say, I have wanted to be in the Military since I was a child, epilepsy always stopped me but not longer, and I just can’t wait to get in.

poyntz4us 60M

6/9/2005 3:19 pm

Wow Bels...

I am gratefull for your family. I am sorry for the bad experiences. Thank you for sharing with us what you did.

My step son was in the Marienes, but was discharged at 11 months for a broken ankle. He was so dissapointed.

So hang in there. I believe it is a good life for the most part.


rm_fungoast 57M
2 posts
6/11/2005 2:25 pm

Dear Poyntz,
I feel so sorry with you and the other familys, wich have to share the experience of the duty in a war.

Guilt in the killing in a war is always a question of how to see the individual resposibility. The Soldier or - at least - the commander in chief, all are figures of a (i think) awsome story.

The answer of 4nik8 "Remember 9/11!!! It's the same fanatics!" is a result of cheap propaganda, that cant help to find the inner freedom.

As long your son is conscious, he has the sensibility to think about good and wrong. Thats a good fundament of going on with life.

with the best wishes,

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