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The Lost and Found
The Lost and Found
Another Sunday...and I haven't seen him in two days already. I have plenty to do...Andre Agassi takes on Becker today. (which should be an easy match for him) at The US Open. Then Nascar to watch at Fontana, where I hope Kasey Kahne will move up from eleventh to tenth and make the chase. (He won the Busch race last night!) And just maybe that dog, Tony Stewart will DNF. It goes up against NFL football where I can't decide who to hope wins with the Manning brothers going against each other next week. All of this in between house work, taxiing the kid around between two jobs and the usual crap, I have enough to keep me busy.
But my thoughts aren't centered on any of this, but rather the cowboy who has stolen my heart with his ice blue eyes and easy smile. Yeah, I pretty much think he hung the moon and scattered the stars just to twinkle down at me from the night sky. Still, even that doesn't come close to describing how I feel about him.
I fell in love like this once, many years ago. It was the most painful thing I ever had to endure, except maybe losing my Mama. (Which reminds me, yesterday was her birthday, so Happy Birthday Mama...I miss you.) Now, CB has erased all of that old pain from that first love and replaced it with so many wonderful feelings that I cannot fully comprehend them sometimes. It is funny how love can make you feel so wonderful and hurt you so much at the same time. When I am with him I have all I need and when we're apart I feel lost. It is really difficult when you want to be with someone all of the time and can't be together. We both have our daily lives, live too far apart for comfort and obligations to fulfil.
So, on days when we are apart, I spend my time just getting thru the days, counting the minutes til I can look into his eyes and hold him close; taste his kiss and feel his touch...
Patty Loveless did a song, "To Feel That Way at All". I listen to that song on these days and try to remember how lucky I am that he loves me and do my best to feel secure in that, knowing I really, truly am lucky to feel that way at all.