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I'm writing a novel about sex
I'm writing a novel about sex
Aside from wanting to get laid, I'm also here doing research, of a sort. I'm writing a novel. I have no idea whether it will be published, or whether it will sell. I'd like it to, of course. I'd like to become a millionaire from my writings--the one thing I truly love to do--but if I don't make a cent from the novel, I still have the joy of having written it.
What does this have to do with AdultFriendFinder? Well, the novel is largely about swinging, or rather, swinging is the backdrop of the novel. It's a complex novel. It is also about murder, lust, passion, morality, infidelity, and Greek philosophy, with a touch of medieval theology mixed in. It is full of assassins, superstars, pagans, poets, princesses, preachers, the press, radio show hosts, cops, FBI agents, and a dog named Boo. Actually, I'm kidding about the dog. But it is about more than swinging. It is about the difference between love and sex, and when fidelity is good, and when it is unnecessary.
I've never "swung." I've lived a largely monogamous life, having married my childhood sweetheart. Before you think that sounds sweet, I should confess that I married her because I was terrified. Every time I tried to break up with her, she threatened to kill herself. I had no idea what else to do. So I married.
As you can guess, it has been a terrible marriage. While I stayed faithful to her, she cheated frequently. And lied even more frequently. I forgave her each time for the cheating, even telling her I didn't care if she cheated, as long as she didn't lie. She couldn't stop lying. She still hasn't stopped, 19 years later. Because I can't believe anything she says, I rarely speak to her, and I don't let her touch me.
That does have something to do with the novel. A central theme is fidelity--what iss fidelity? My main character, a celebrity writer and medieval historian, has had three marriages. The first was to his childhood sweetheart-- a woman much like my own wife. Unlike me, he bails in nine years, before he has kids. Our hero, once free of his wife, becomes famous, and begins sleeping with everyone he can catch. With his looks and fame and intelligence, he catches a lot. His second wife kills herself... long story. His third wife is as wild as he has become. They begin swinging, having a blast, until she is paralyzed in a car accident, caused by a man who got too serious. From her wheelchair, she encourages her husband to continue. He does, but he hates it. Why? That's part of what our hero has to understand.
The point is, the book is about sex. And love. And the difference.
Why am I writing all of this? I'm just curious what people think. I want more feedback. WHile I am an artistic type, and love writing for the sake of writing, I really want to get rich, and the more realistic the story, the better chance I have. I read the profiles around here, hang out in chat now and then, and read these blogs. I talk to the very few women who will actually write back just to talk--for some reason I can't say "Hi, I'm not hitting on you" without them assuming I'm hitting on them.
I'm hoping to do more. I'm hoping to get involved. To watch, to join. Hasn't happened yet. I'm shy, I'm still married (at least in the minds of AFFers, if not in my mind, or my supposed spouse's), I have absolutely no practice at the whole seduction game. I may never get laid again, for all I know. Sadly, I'll probably leave my kids one day soon, just because so many women don't want to split up a marriage by dating a married man. Ah, irony. Well, that's the way it works.
But just hanging out here, and getting shot down so often, has taught me a lot of what I need to know to finish this novel. (Actually, it's finished, but I'm still rewriting a few stubborn scenes).
Well, that's who I am. And remember, if you see me on the bookshelves sometime soon, you can point and say "Hey, I knew him before he was famous!" But for God's sake (and for your own), don't tell anyone HOW you knew me!<G>