Sometime...  

pichuan 54M
44 posts
7/11/2006 11:18 am

Last Read:
7/11/2006 7:21 pm

Sometime...

I've said before that I have an odd life.
One quirky thing about me is my inborn sense of natural euality with everyone. A similar sense of being able (tho not necessarily allowed) to do whatever I want, at any given time.

The two together make for some hair raising and troublesome times.

When I was very young, about 5, I would wander away from the house we lived in and play, wherever it was that I wanted to play. Mostly it was the desert, but occaisionally it was other places.

My mother had fits, of course, and barred me from going outside. So, being the person I am, I would take the screen off of my window, climb out and head for the desert.

(Recall an earlier post which mentioned my wanderlust? Here it shows at the tender age of 5)

I figured, best I can recall, that if other people (grownups) could go and do and visit and wander, then I could too. So I did. Never mind that there were dangers that I knew nothing of, God appears to protect fools sometimes, and innocents.
So, that wanderlust, that insistence on equality and sovereignty was a source of trouble early on.

It manifested later in similar ways. In high school, I walked everywhere, was essentially on my own at 14 and truly on my own in an apartment at 16. Since I lived away from parents, my decision to go or not to school was entirely my own.
Likewise, the perception that I was the equal of my teachers was well developed, and when I corrected my history teacher on points of history, he became somewhat annoyed; particularly because I was a) right and b) mentioned it publicly.

I didn't win many friends that way, at least among those in authority.

So, the upshot of all that is that as an adult of wide experience, I still have the notions of equality and self authorization that I had early. When in the USAF, my ex-wife made choices that were a bit hurtful to me. My superiors suggested that I control her, and my question was simple: "How?" They had no answer because, after all, she was not a slave, not a prisoner, and not contracted to the military as I was. So she could do anything that her heart desired and, if anyone had to pay for it, it would be me.

And I did. Dearly.

Needless to say, I got rid of her.

There's a caution in there. Equality isn't necessarily as real or as desirable as we sometimes might think. There are people with "power" and "authority" over us, and sometimes it's for good reason.
But I still figure I'm as good as anyone, and can do whatever the hell I want because I'm a free man.

And laws just irritate me, even if I agree with their intent. It just seems that we have too many of the damned things that interfere too much with too many people's personal damned business.

Sometimes, ya just gotta rant.


sexyariesgirl 57F

7/11/2006 3:49 pm

Rant on sweetie....sometimes ya just gotta say what's on your mind! HUGGS.....

Power To FOK


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