Emotion  

philoparts 42M
7 posts
10/10/2005 9:43 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Emotion


Its strange how a certain song or sitiuation can bring out great emotion when you least expect it. I was online the other night and had my yahoo radio station playing, when all of a sudden a song I hadn't heard in over a year started playing. I don't know if it was because I was tired or maybe kind of stressed out, but the song brought out such overwhelming emotion I actually started to cry. I think it was because theres some unresolved mental battles raging in my subconcious that I've not wanted to deal with, it just reminded me of a time in my life when I felt more content and not so unsure of myself. The root of this was because of a person that affected me deeply. It was the one time in my life that I almost felt stable and complete, nay, content. I felt as if I had a family, and although things didn't work out how I had wished, they still turned out quite well overall for those involved, but I've never really sat myself down and dealt with the emotion that was left behind. I went through three years of being an emotional rollercoaster, that for the last year, I've tried to act numb, hide myself behind work and hobbies. The truth is, I feel alone. I want to love, but I sabotage myself to avoid having a social life, I blame work, which is a really lame excuse. I'm making an early new years resolution to get out of my rut and not hide myself from the world......who knows......"she" might be right in front me, I just can't see her from where I'm at..........

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