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The 7 Stages of Online Dating Intimacy!
The 7 Stages of Online Dating Intimacy!
The 7 Stages of Online Dating Intimacy!
By Passionate Ben
Dear gorgeous ladies,
So you've just put up a profile on some other online dating site. Or maybe you've been online for awhile now and you think you know the ropes pretty good right?
So I'm going to enlighten you on what both sexes have to worry about online and what both sexes have to go thru so you know the truth for once!
For one of the online dating guide’s books I'm writing for guys I've for the last two plus years been on like 25 different dating websites meeting and getting to know woman.
And been discovering the true art of online dating or online meeting people. (So many woman don't like you saying there online dating they think it's a negative thing or makes them sound desperate or easy! Far from it ladies I think just the opposite you’re just leveraging your time, sorting thru pricks/assholes quicker, and you’re being realistic!)
Eharm*ny actually rejected me and I was kind of shocked, it just validated what I know and all my friends have known for along time. I found out that Eharm*ny rejects about 20% of the applicants because they are TOO HARD too match up with the opposite sex!
OUCH! THAT HURT! LOL!
So when a dating site won't take your money then you know you better get on a lot of dating sites because you’re looking for the proverbial needle in the haystack and that needle isn’t going to find you unless you’re pretty damn visible! LOL!
So what I have learned about myself and women is equivalent to a PHD from Harvard on human behavior, sexuality, and psychology.
The biggest things ALL guys have to worry about are women using FAKE PICTURES that aren't them and lying about there age online, usually there older than they say. (Note: The 3 things woman lie about the most offline is there real age, weight, and there dress size.)
The biggest thing women have to worry about guys online is there married or have a girlfriend, outdated pictures, and of course there own personal safety. (Note: The 3 things guys lie about the most offline is how much they really make, how big there dick is, and how long they can last in bed.)
So if a guy says he makes $40K and a FedEx driver, says he has an average size c#ck, and can last about 15 minutes he's probably telling you the truth ladies! LOL!
1/2 of all single Americans are now or have been online dating.
Why you ask?
Because the bar, nightclub and dating scene just gets old eventually. Maybe it takes you until your 25, 30, 35, maybe 40 years old or older but it will eventually get old believe me. It's not so much in going out and partying that gets old but more going out looking and hoping to meet some hot and great person that you want to date, hook up with, or marry down the road.
Or having to hear the same drunk meatheads hit on you or grab you. Or for guys look around and see the same skanky woman out and you think to yourself now I believe that over 60% of women in the US are now overweight. Guys aren't much better I know you know that ladies! LOL!
The intelligent single person of the 21st century also knows it's a numbers game. (I don't mean sleeping around or trying to get allot of ass either for all you players and playettes. But getting some ass isn't all bad either! LOL!)
Ladies you have all heard you have to kiss a lot of toads to find your prince right? Well, online you can kiss hundreds maybe even a thousand times more toads in tenth of the time you could ever offline.
I personally know within minutes of reading most profiles if any woman has a chance or not with me to go to the next levels that I will explain in greater detail in a few moments.
From just talking on the phone or IMing with a woman for an hour or so I can tell if there is some good chemistry or any kind of anything in the future.
I have just honed in on my "Spidey Senses" so much now and I don't want to waste even a minute of my time or another person's if I don't think anything will ever come of it. This is not rude or mean at all it's the right and honest thing to do I believe.
Your not leading someone on, wasting there time, and setting them up to really get there feelings hurt. Too much of that crap already without you contributing to it with all the heartless, selfish, ungiving, and cheating people in the world today and online.
So what are the 6 stages of online dating and what happens in each stage basically?
In this stage someone WINKS AT YOU, shows interests in you by posting a COMMENT on your profile, or INVITES YOU to there network of friends. Whatever dating site you’re on they all have similar type features.
What does this stage mean? Not a whole lot. The person obviously didn't think enough of you or at least not yet to actually take the time and email you. So in our ADD/lazy ass society we just click a button or two to let you know we checked out your profile (Usually that's a lie. They saw your pictures and then on a purely physical based decision they contact you because of that).
Then we hope the other person sees that we commented or invited them to our network and they make the next move back or take it to the next stage which is to email you. Basically the person is trolling the whole ocean looking for a few bites and thinking even a broken watch is right twice a day! (Ok all the bimbos reading this just didn't get that last comment on the watch! LOL!)
In this stage someone actually thought enough of your pictures and/or profile to take the time to EMAIL YOU there opinions, curiosity, or interest in you using your dating sites email account.
This is the safe secure way because you’re not letting that person into your life at all and they can only contact you thru that dating sites not your personal email account that you only share with friends, family, business associates, or people you trust at least a little.
What does this stage mean? Well, the person took the time out of there day to email you something which is a good thing sometimes and shows there level of interest is now past stage 1. The email could be something crude, lude, sexual, sweet, nice, funny, romantic, flattering, etc. so the jury's out on what they send you is a good or bad thing.
But unlike a posted comment or invite many people will at least reply back to someone’s email that took the time to email them so if you want to get to know someone I would do this stage for sure (Or at least the people that have manners and class except of course if it's lude, crude, or insulting)
In this stage mutual cooperation is usually needed because you exchange or one of you gives the other your PERSONAL EMAIL ADDRESS. Unless of course the person has there personal email address, which most sites block from showing if you try but some people put there personal email addresses on there site so you can contact directly that way.
What does this stage mean? Well, you just let them into your little world a tad bit. Now you can exchange pictures (Naughty type hopefully! LOL!) with each other as well as use emoticons and different font styles to get your email message to them more convincingly. That person also with very little effort can track down where your internet connection is coming from meaning city/state.
It's a good thing to find out to see if someone's lying about where they live or bad if you don't want to give out the city/state of where you live for safety reasons if your like a porn star, model, or someone in the media and would be prone to get whacko's and stalker types.
What does this stage mean? Allot! Know where starting to get somewhere and see how the person's sense of humor is, personality, how sensitive they are, how intelligent they are, and there basically on the spot with you.
Before when you exchanged emails with them thru the dating site or thru personal email it was NOT in real time. Meaning that person could've of had to read your email 5 times to actually understand or get it, then ask some there friends how to respond back to it, and it could take them days or even weeks in some cases I have experiences for them to get back to.
Now in this 4th stage the chemistry or lack of it starts to show it head. Because now it's in REAL time so you can see how slow or quick witted they are. Are they selfish do they talk only about themselves or about you? Do they get your jokes? Do they get offended easily or very sensitive? Are they open sexually and like to talk about there own experiences, likes/dislikes, and there own sexuality. (Note: If you don't you won't last two seconds with me at least!)
Plus they can see when your online or not and can IM you whenever they want!! How many times do you get annoying pop windows from people IMing you that you hate? I know I do well it could be that person you gave it to but you found it they weren't mister or misses right!
In this stage you exchange PHONE NUMBERS and now the offline relationship goes offline and they can contact you 24/7 even when you’re NOT on your computer.
What does this stage mean? It's big. Now you can call them anytime you want or vice versa when there drunk, happy, mad, stressed out, depressed, etc. You finally get to hear what they sound like which could be a good or bad thing. It proves too both of you that you’re a real person and actually the gender they claim to be! LOL! Laugh but God the stories I have heard about guys and gals pretending to be of the opposite sex.
Messed up crap I tell you!
They can now call you ten times a day and also text you a dozen more! If things get ugly changing your phone number is one huge pain in the ass and inconvenience at least it would be for me. It would be catastrophic if as a business owner you use your cell phone is your office line so don't give that out easily.
Plus you can have phone sex now and ladies if you haven't tried it or been with someone that's really good and naughty at it (I might know a guy just let me know! LO then you are truly missing out let me tell you!
Side Note: There could be another stage in between 5 and 6 for exchanging mailing addresses if one or both of you wanted to send a card or something to each other. Now you’re telling that person exactly where you live so again big step if you’re a woman for safety reasons.
In this stage both of you or one of you gets on WEBCAM for the other person to see you in REAL time and finally see it's a REAL live person.
What does this mean? Almost Everything! You now know the pictures they had on there profile weren't fake, outdated, or they actually were. It proves that someone else wasn't on the phone talking to you before or on some other person's phone number.
It started out as a online and computer relationship with no living face to go with it and now you can see them smile, laugh, giggle, squirm, sneeze, cough, burp, cry, fidget, get mad, masturbate (yes hello! LOL!), see what kind of clothes they wear, what there room looks like, see there animals or kids if they have any, and much more.
It finally humanizes online dating and makes it all worth it and REAL.
If you DON'T have a webcam ladies GO GET one (The best webcam in the world is the Logitech Orbitz webcam that I have because I use for business allot that you can get at Best Buy or Circuit City for like $125 or buy it online for like $95, plus a cheap webcam you can get now for like $40 so no BS excuses ok!) not all guys are going to ask because they think that gives them the right to ask you to get naked or to get sexual.
Of course that is all great but that comes with time, trust, and getting to know someone.
If you’re in a relationship or want to try really to get to know someone from a distance and possibly start a long distance relationship then this is a must I know from allot of experience.
Long term relationships can work, still a minority percentage but webcam is the only way because you forget kind of what that person looks like even with pictures and I can't stress that enough.
Best advice when guys ask and they will if you have a webcam be choosy who you say yes to ok. Only say yes after you get to know them some and you feel comfortable. Many guys that are just looking for free porn or an easy fu*k will ask you that in an email or instant chat right away which you may have noticed.
In this the final stage you finally meet IN PERSON either meeting at a bar, coffee shop, restaurant, club, or wherever if you meet and your both live in the area. If it's long distance which has been mostly my own personal experience then you need to decide on who’s flying or driving to see who and the arrangements?
What does this mean? Everything! Webcams don’t always give you the best and most realistic images of a person. They won’t show you if the person has a bad complexion, has acne, how hairy they are, has lots of freckles or moles (not a bad thing just saying), bad teeth, bad hair, or bad skin.
You’re also going to find out which you can’t from webcam how they taste (both innocent and naughty ways here! LOL!) how soft there lips are, how they feel, how soft there skin is, how warm or cold there body is, how they smell, do they have bad breath or good breath, how soft there hair is, and how gorgeous there eyes and face really are.
All the talk online and on the phone you will also finally get to see there ACTIONS in person. Like for example if they there a gentleman (like I do in my profile) do they really open every door and car door for you always, do they order for you but ask you first what your going to get, do they pay for everything, are they really affectionate as they say in public or private, do they dress sharp like they say, do they have manners, do they pay attention to you when your talking, do they like to snuggle, do they just stare at your ass or tits, do they only talk about themselves, do they really have there own house or apartment, do they have the car they say they did, do they want to try to get in your pants almost right away when they meet you.
(This is also NOT a bad either, it just depends on what kind of relationships you have built before you met and for how long you got to know each other!) and so on and so on.
That’s it. I have been writing for the better part of 3 ½ hours and you now have the 7 real stages of online dating in this day and age. I hope you liked it and I could shed some light on online dating and the opposite sexes for you. Please copy this article if you want and save to your computer, send it to your friends, post it on your own blog profile, email it to anyone you like or repost a bulletin, all I ask is you keep on there my name and profile address ok.
5:05am here in Austin, TX now and I need to finally get some shut eye got a very busy week ahead of me. So for now I say goodnight or good morning to you and I would love as much feedback as possible from you ladies on this or any blog I have written or anything on my profile.
12/1/2006 7:58 pm
Very informative. the prospect of online dating is quite new to me so I find your research quite invaluable.|
3/26/2007 7:50 pm
I was surfing the profiles and for some reason you came up as being in Hiram, GA...not sure what that was about, but I checked your blog out and I agree "Very Informative." I will definitely have to consider all of these points you have mentioned. We never really thought about the levels of contact before, as we have yet to meet anyone. Have to do some more thinking about this.|
Good luck in your quest.
7/1/2007 1:37 pm
ok..read it and it was Spot On !!|
As new not only to this site but Austin liked what you had to say ..
Thx for the info ...