rm_peaterparker 42M
17 posts
4/25/2006 12:37 pm

Last Read:
2/4/2008 3:24 pm


I have often been told by various women I've met online that we should meet first casually as friends and then take it from there. Most were quite specific about thier preference to NOT have sex on the first date under any circumstances. Most often this was accompanied by an explanation which usually consisted of a long list of men whom they'd met who expected that sort of thing and were just out for sex. Always I have respected this choice and would never be aggressive or try to be sexually suggestive on a first date. Nor have met ANY women with the expectation of sex. However, on some occassions some of these same women who specifically told me NOT to expect sex have grabbed me by the hand and led me into thier bedroom at the end of the evening. What is that all about? My question here is for any woman who's ever said that to a man. What is the REAL motive you may have for telling a man not to expect sex? And I know that not every woman has the same motives. But I can only guess at some of them. Perhaps you aren't actually oppossed to the thought of first date sex, but you just don't want to commit to it in case there is no chemistry there or he is not as attractive as you had imagined. Maybe it's because you don't want him to think less of you. Perhaps you really didn't expect anything to happen but you got caught up in the moment. But whatever the reason, I would just love to hear what women are really thinking on this.Just the honest truth.

saddletrampsk 54F

4/25/2006 1:29 pm

Well..I always fuck on the first date..I mean, that is why I am on this site..plain and simple..

49AK 55M
1823 posts
4/25/2006 1:30 pm

Well, I am not female, but I think I have some insight into this. What these women are trying to do is take the edge off the expectation. They want you to be yourself, not you looking to get laid. If your expectation is that after a nice cup of coffee or a nice dinner, and a chat, and then you're going home to do whatever you would do, you're going to be much more relaxed and natural. And because of that, you're not going to be putting pressure on them to go jump in bed.

Does this sound like a bit of a double standard? Perhaps, but I think that women assume that most guys will do 80 percent of the women that express an interest, so for them it is about her choosing to sleep with you, and not about you choosing them.

I have had similar things happen to me, and sometimes I've made other plans for the rest of my evening, and so I am faced with having to beg off or change my plans. In a perfect world, I'd prefer that women were more clear/honest about their intent up front, at least in an explicit way.

It is a dangerous slope... My policy is to go to all first meetings with NO expectation, and if I sense (beforehand) that I am being jerked around, plan the meet for a fixed length of time. Men deserve respect, too, and if you don't feel like you're getting it, you aren't obligated to sleep with her just because you're male.

rm_SexyBBW382 51F
2224 posts
4/25/2006 3:56 pm

Women say that for the reasons you have said because they don't want to agree to sex unless you look a certain way and that includes the way you act and carry yourself. Also women want you to push the subject so they feel good about themselves so they can say oh he knew I wasn't going to have sex but he really really wants me any women that tells you this isn't true isn't being honest lol. They want to be the hunted and caught by the good looking man. Let's face it we women play games at times most meaning no harm but its the you tarzan me jane thing lol. Just my opinion from a honest women.................Lori

buxombbw4u 48F  
15673 posts
4/25/2006 8:07 pm

ok, my two cents' worth. I ALWAYS specify nosex meetings for the first meeting to establish whether there is chemistry. That way, if the guy meets me, and he isn't attracted to me, my feelings aren't hurt. (I had a REALLY bad and demeaning experience once from someone that I hadn't specified that with... and I don't ever want to feel that bad about myself again.) Also, it gives me a chance to also walk away if I don't feel the chemistry either. But if I DO think we are compatible and I kind of get the feeling that he is interested also, I pretty much almost always KISS on the first date. Why drag it on if that doesn't click?

The Great Dry Spell of '14/'15. When Will It End?

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