You Might be a Swinger  

patsam69 51M/51F
704 posts
7/9/2005 7:00 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

You Might be a Swinger


I did not write this...I received it in an e-mail from a yahoo group that I belong to. I thought it was so freaking funny that I wanted to share it with you. Hope u laugh as hard as I did.

You might be a swinger if....

1. Your coworkers are convinced you have no social life because you
always change the subject when they ask about your weekend.

2. When your coworkers talk about their sex life, it takes real effort
not to yawn.

3. You come home with that "there's something about Mary" hairstyle.

4. When going to a strip club with your guy friends, instead of your
wife, seems like a ridiculous waste of time and money.

5. You make plans to meet a "vertical" couple at a nice restaurant and
realize you have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING you can wear.

6. You close an email to your sister with Bi Bi.

7. You have pictures of you two at hotel rooms with brightly colored
wristbands.

8. Your Christmas card list has names like "Two4Fun", "CarrSUsBoth"
and "AlwayzReady".

9. Your neighbors wonder why they are not being invited to your parties.

10. Your family wonders where you meet these friends from all over the
country.

11. Your boss wonders why you are going to Mexico or Las Vegas in the
summer.

12. Your Saturday night babysitter wonders why you already have your
coat on when she arrives.

13. Your girlfriend wonders why you have both birth control pills and
condoms in your purse.

14. You both wonder if the sexy couple who just walked past you would
like to mess around.

15. You can't go to any place of business, from McDonald's to H&R
Block, without rating the sales representative you are greeted by.

16. You have business cards to give out and they have nothing to do
with any actual business.

17. A "Swap Meet" has nothing to do with goods and doesn't require an
admission fee.

18. You see a cute guy and immediately wonder if tonight is BJ only.

19. You've been stood up no less than thirty times per month by
"couples" whose kids suddenly become deathly ill with the ebola virus
thirty minutes before your scheduled meet time, and greeted giddily by
at least four guys a month whose "wife knows all about it".

20. You and your spouse have more hand signals than a baseball game.

21. When you go to meet other couples, the prospects are so
disappointing you end up just getting it in the ass from your hubby in
the back seat of your Chevy Suburban.

22. You've been to a club with scantily clad men and women who are
grinding on one another, yet still qualify for social security.

23. You've considered tattooing "ASK HIM" on your forehead.

24. Your idea of a place to go on a first date is the hot tub.

25. You have fifteen bags of groceries in the back of your station
wagon, and the only contents are alcoholic beverages and condoms.

Philosophy_N_Sex 49M/47F

7/9/2005 8:28 pm

Hahha loved it.

maybe I need astation wagon!


expatbrit49 62M

7/10/2005 7:34 am

LMAO very good

Thank You for Your Time and Attention


Jerosd 47M

7/12/2005 7:26 am

Damn..I never knew why all these questions were in my head...lol


Apolybear 54M

7/12/2005 5:45 pm

Hey, I thought I was the one you fantasized about

Yep Sam, the straight people have no clue...lol Very funny


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