Back to the beginning?  

patsam69 51M/51F
704 posts
10/28/2005 4:19 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Back to the beginning?

Long ago in a land called the sunshine state a woman used to hate that her husband looked at porn. Then gradually that all changed due the fact that they started swinging and she had sex with other men. Now that has ended and when her husband sits on the internet looking at naked women she wants to scream.

Yes, its true. Long ago, well maybe not so long ago, I was kind of a prude. Don't get me wrong...I liked sex. But we had 3 children within 4 and a half I wasn't begging for it. I was tired! My husband would look at porn, and it would burn me. Occasionally I would watch it with him, and that was fine. But when he sat at the computer looking at different websites with naked women, it bothered me.

That all gradually changed as we started to take naked pics with our digital camera. Than he convinced me to post them. (dared me, actually ) I would post them on a website where men would make comments as you posted them. This was fun and good for my ego. Plus it turned my husband on immensely. It turned me on too. During this time he would tell me of his fantasy to see me with another man. It finally sunk in that he was serious. We joined AdultFriendFinder started to swing. Our sex life with each other skyrocketed and the rest is history.

Now when I was looking for men to chat with and possibly meet, I didn't care that he looked at porn on the net. But now that we stopped swinging, and I do not chat anymore...It bothers me. What is my problem? I suppose it was o.k. cause I was looking at naked men...but now that I am not...he can't look at naked women? Why has my brain taken this turn? SIGH. Any thoughts? Thanks!

rm_vixenflir 58M
295 posts
10/28/2005 8:16 am

Don't panic my dear! Its a perfectly natural reaction you are having. This is just my opinion, but I did run into the same problem (sort of) this past week with my blogland sweetheart. I had basically stopped cuising blogland in deference to an IM relationship, I knew she hadn't - but assunmed I was the only......well lets just say I found out I was one of more than one. I flew off the handle and got totally pissed for what reason I still can't figure out. I'm married and have the online relationship with her, yet I was pissed that she had another online thing going without me....well I'm back in reality now.

The whole thing I think was that when it was the 2 of us and anything sexual that we did - it was fantastic. But when I found out she was having other IM relationships (=huby watching porn and enjoying in his mind without you)I felt some how cheated out of the pleasure that we should have been sharing together.

Don't know if this helps - but you ain't alone.

hotiowastud2 53M

10/28/2005 10:08 am

Now I know you see pictures of a cock every now and then...ha ha.

I think it's a natural reaction when one is left out of the mix.

I know you're not swinging, bit go back and take some more pictures and post them...or that's just me being horny...I can never tell the difference.

patsam69 51M/51F

10/28/2005 11:12 am

Vixenflir.....welcome back to reality!! really did make me laugh even though I know you didn't mean to. I laughed cause it is funny how we get wrapped up in internet relatinships when we don't even really know the people. That is where the internet can get scary! Has happened to me many a time. I guess we are just too trusting, huh?
You are right...I do feel that he could be with me instead of looking at naked women. I told him this a couple of weeks ago and he felt badly and he has not been online much since. The thing is that I feel bad that I care about it! I know he is not dreaming of being with these women and that he loves me...I guess it is a deep rooted insecurity...I don't know.

Philosophy_N_Sex 49M/47F

10/28/2005 12:11 pm

Maybe the "same old same old" pattern has came back? You feel he is not sharing as much as you did before? Those feelings are not quite what they were?

You felt powerful and sexy as his "porn queen" and wife, but maybe now you are in wife mode again? He looks over the pron ladies and you feel a bit left out?

Best wishes always

rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
10/28/2005 5:32 pm

I like hotiowastud's idea of returning to the pic posting. that seems like middle ground and has "something for everyone."

I think the bottom line isn't that you have to talk yourself into not being bothered by his web porn, or that he has to feel bad about it, but that you each have an outlet that is sexually exciting yet non-threatening.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

patsam69 51M/51F

10/28/2005 7:33 pm

P N S....yes, yes, yes and yes and yes

you are so

MillsShipsGayly 51M

10/29/2005 9:09 am

ah the old madonna-whore problem

wife - porn queen ..

like that you can be both =)

patsam69 51M/51F

10/30/2005 8:27 am

Michael...Yes, I can be both. I can change hats in an instant...Mother and wife...then total slut! LOL...I think that may be why he loves me

patsam69 51M/51F

10/30/2005 8:30 am

1hotwahine...I am not sure I want to go back to the pic posting days...been there, done that. I am a different person now.

Hotiowastud....I don't know if I feel left out. I still didnt like it when I was looking at men,,,but how could I say anything then? LOL. wouldnt have been too fair.
and is you being horny

shamandirewolf 49M

11/1/2005 11:53 am

Just send him a note that says yummy those boobS!

threesome0825 30M/29F
1 post
11/2/2005 1:46 am

hi i wanted to know if you were up to maybe a little more than in that pic?

patsam69 51M/51F

11/2/2005 8:04 am I know YOU?? LOL

deliciousngood 64F
1666 posts
12/6/2005 9:46 am

Compersion and it's ugly step-sister exclusion.

You got pleasure when you were included and feel left out and hurt and angry when you are excluded. Only natural, I think.

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