In My Own Words...  

one_wilde_orchid 50F
31 posts
3/29/2006 6:44 am

Last Read:
4/29/2006 5:06 am

In My Own Words...

I do not want to blog here on a regular basis. I did not want to visit here at all.
This is the fourth time in several weeks that I had to return, forced to return, rather, in order to see for myself what has been happening.
This has been a nightmare for me.
I WITHDREW MY FRIENDSHIP from the one who has perpetuated hate, pain, and ugliness on my behalf---WHICH I HAVE NEVER FELT I NEEDED.
This has caused me such HUMILIATION and MORTIFICATION that I find it hard to recover from,
and I feel so ruined in the eyes of all I loved here that I cannot bring myself to ever show my face here again.
I have only posted here so that those specifically involved can have my testaments.
I am trying very hard not to HARBOR HATE for the one I leaned on and who tried to use my pain to his advantage.
I have cried many times for those innocent people, and those I love, who have suffered because of his misguided intentions. I have come to believe that he suffers from something dark and unhealthy, something I WANT NO PART OF.
I hope I have been able to STOP HIM from continuing his sick deeds in this unique world that I have loved.
I hope that everyone works together to deprive him of the attention he seeks.
I hope that anyone who has suffered is able to see his instability for what it is, and can release themselves from any pain and suffering he has caused.

one_wilde_orchid 50F

3/29/2006 6:07 pm

Someone dear brought to my attention that there is the possibility something more sinister could evolve...and that I should be wary for my own self. Know that I am always aware of who is around me...that is the very nature of my profession. Do not worry for my safety...I will spare no quarter in my own defense! I am wise, and I am a survivor...surviving is what I do best! And I clutch the cloak of protection from the highest power of all around me...I could not be in better company...
love, L

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