In My Own Words...  

one_wilde_orchid 50F
31 posts
3/29/2006 6:44 am

Last Read:
4/29/2006 5:06 am

In My Own Words...

I do not want to blog here on a regular basis. I did not want to visit here at all.
This is the fourth time in several weeks that I had to return, forced to return, rather, in order to see for myself what has been happening.
This has been a nightmare for me.
I WITHDREW MY FRIENDSHIP from the one who has perpetuated hate, pain, and ugliness on my behalf---WHICH I HAVE NEVER FELT I NEEDED.
This has caused me such HUMILIATION and MORTIFICATION that I find it hard to recover from,
and I feel so ruined in the eyes of all I loved here that I cannot bring myself to ever show my face here again.
I have only posted here so that those specifically involved can have my testaments.
I am trying very hard not to HARBOR HATE for the one I leaned on and who tried to use my pain to his advantage.
I have cried many times for those innocent people, and those I love, who have suffered because of his misguided intentions. I have come to believe that he suffers from something dark and unhealthy, something I WANT NO PART OF.
I hope I have been able to STOP HIM from continuing his sick deeds in this unique world that I have loved.
I hope that everyone works together to deprive him of the attention he seeks.
I hope that anyone who has suffered is able to see his instability for what it is, and can release themselves from any pain and suffering he has caused.
HE DOES NOT SPEAK FOR ME,HE HAS NEVER SPOKEN FOR ME, NO ONE SPEAKS FOR ME BUT Me.



one_wilde_orchid 50F

3/29/2006 6:07 pm

Someone dear brought to my attention that there is the possibility something more sinister could evolve...and that I should be wary for my own self. Know that I am always aware of who is around me...that is the very nature of my profession. Do not worry for my safety...I will spare no quarter in my own defense! I am wise, and I am a survivor...surviving is what I do best! And I clutch the cloak of protection from the highest power of all around me...I could not be in better company...
love, L


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